iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 13/03/2025

I find it equally distressing that you did not say, “That is as close to a crime scene as I have been in months”

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kaleb @squip.bsky.social · 11/03/2025

a masterclass on posting

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 11/03/2025

People wonder sometimes why they used to call me Ragin’ Robert Scott back when I was in the Army — it was because Robert is the formal name for Bob

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 10/03/2025

#𝓐𝓼𝓴𝓑𝓸𝓫𝓢𝓬𝓸𝓽𝓽 Sorry, I cannot remember if my Ethel Merman Fan Fiction stories were ever Published on my old Website like my “Fantasy Island” and “Waltons” stories were — I am unfortunately right now without an I.T. Director to help me ever since Randal vanished while on a Cambodian Sex Vacation

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 10/03/2025

Does anybody know if there is demand on here for Ethel Merman Fan Fiction

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 09/03/2025

When I invited my friend Lem to move in along with my old Boss at the Jollibee, my former Religious Cult Leader, and his Concubine so that all 4 of them could get back on their feet, I guess I never thought about how much Peanut Butter I would have to buy to keep them fed

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 09/03/2025

Yes I worked at the Columbia House Record Club as an Intern one summer, it was a Bloodbath

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Jerry @allhailjerry.myatproto.social · 09/03/2025

I went used book shopping and then had vegan Mexican food. I could’ve scored an anti-MAGA grand slam if I’d then successfully launched a rocket into space.

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 08/03/2025

BOB F. SCOTT SQUARE DANCE TIP: If you happen to black out at the 1st Friday Square Dance, one way to know you enjoyed yourself is if you wake up the next morning in a burnt-out station wagon wearing a studded dog collar with a Big hickey on your 3rd nipple

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 07/03/2025

Yes, today I went to get a Physical Exam at Walmart because I am getting ready to be part of a Big Medical Study of my history of Major Heart Attacks — please ‘Like’ and ‘Re-Post’ my Thread below!!!

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 07/03/2025

Also it would be nice if the Walmart Computer Doctor’s bench had better lower back support since it makes you sit there for 2-3 full minutes, but at least you get your Test Results quickly if somebody does not call in a Bomb Threat to Walmart like the last time I was there

This is a picture of the Walmart Computer Doctor’s Test Results screen. It has analyzed me for ‘Sleep Health,’ ‘BMI’ (whatever the hell that is), ‘Blood Pressure,’ and ‘Central Vision’ and here are the ratings I have received in that same order: POOR, POOR, POOR, and POOR. My blood pressure is shown as 168/105

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 07/03/2025

My 2 biggest gripes when I go to get my free Physical Examination at the Walmart Computer Doctor is that sometimes I have to chase small children away (they do not apparently understand that it is a Healthcare Professional) and also when I take my shirt off there is no place to hang it up???

This is a picture of the Walmart Computer Doctor, a booth that you can sit in at your local Walmart store that can examine your physical health by taking your blood pressure, checking your vision, and also doing some other stuff to you

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 06/03/2025

Gonna go hang at the mall to check out some visible panty line.

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

Storm chasers were asking for tornado footage from ppl who live in Dallas today. A woman responded with videos of three kangaroos in her yard, and said "All kangaroos are fine!" I will be using that as an answer for how I'm doing from now on

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 05/03/2025

Thank you, I do appreciate knowing that you have not lost interest and/or passed away

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 05/03/2025

Thank you, Friend — I hope this story of my near-death inspired you to not ever almost die in an Arts & Crafts Store

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 05/03/2025

Yes I agree, the Bathroom at Michael’s Arts & Crafts Store has much more room for me to take my shirt off

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

Some people are incapable of admitting that they fucked up. I don’t trust them. Also, I don’t trust mayonnaise.

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

My new Thread is up on here today, People!!! I am sorry if this is what is called a ‘Spoiler Alert,’ but at the end of the story I am still alive

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

I really do like JoAnn’s Fabric Store for their Unparalleled selection of Arts and Crafting supplies but I do not care much for their Customers — those people are Cutthroat Bloodthirsty Turd Butlers, sorry

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/18 [END] Even though I never got an additional 30% off Clearance Items at JoAnn’s Fabric Store, I am Thankful my life was spared that day, because it was during my Recovery that I met my 2nd Wife — that Sweet Lady was my Universe, but she is gone now, only dust … but that … that is another story

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/17 As they wheeled me away on a stretcher, I screamed furiously about my stolen ’30% off’ coupon that had no exclusions, but that only started a complete Frenzy — everybody else in there mobbed the JoAnn Fabric Store Check-Out counters with their coupons and luxurious Clearance fabrics and tulles

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/16 I fell to the floor, gasping!! I really felt The Light of Angels was shining down upon me, because that little old frail lady was still there — I thought she would give me C.P.R., but she just pried my fingers apart and took my soggy pee-soaked JoAnn Fabric Store ’30% off’ coupon instead

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/15 The Pro Doctors who later saved my life had more Technical Terms for it, but basically the bright colors and busy patterns all around me in that JoAnn’s Fabric Store acted like kindling, and then that soggy pee-soaked ’30% off’ coupon was the SPARK that IGNITED the campfire of my Heart Attack

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/14 The thought of a JoAnn Fabric Store ’30% off’ coupon that had absolutely NO limitations on how it could be used sent a SHOCKWAVE down my spine!! My heart fluttered, then I felt it Very slowly expand, BIGGER AND BIGGER — suddenly it was like a BURSTING BOMB went off right inside my chest!!!

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/13 That is when I felt a frail grip on my arm — it was a little old lady who had noticed the soggy pee-soaked JoAnn Fabric Store ’30% off’ coupon in my hand!! She said to me, “That coupon is Very valuable — they forgot to put on there that Clearance items are not eligible for the discount”

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/12 When you undertake an Ambitious hobby project such as making a complete set of Realistic nude marionette re-creations of 1970s Penthouse Pets, you must commit wholly to capturing every lifelike detail, so I staggered drunkenly into JoAnn’s Fabric Store and went straight to the Craft Fur section

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/11 I am not proud of drinking and driving, but the JoAnn Fabric Store ‘30% off’ coupon was expiring that day — if I did not make it there, they would close and then I would never get a Discount on everything I needed to finish my marionette re-creation of 1976 Penthouse Pet of the Year Laura Doone

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/10 And that is when The Song of Angels sang out: There was still purpose to my life!! I had pulled out of my pants pocket a wadded-up, soggy scrap of paper — you see, I was not dying after all, I had only wet myself severely and that scrap of paper was a ’30% off’ coupon for JoAnn’s Fabric Store

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/9 That is when my head really STARTED SPINNING, so I closed my eyes, and my breathing got choppy, and I felt this SURGE OF PRESSURE deep inside of my body suddenly give way to a warm, comforting sensation that rushed all the way down to my toes — YES FRIENDS, I, BOB SCOTT, WAS DYING

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/8 I wept, trying to imagine what would be more embarrassing in Polite Society: a Chimpanzee following me around holding my intestines in a bucket, or being a 40-year-old man who had to take the Public City Bus everywhere because he had given up his Subaru to meet his Ex-Wife’s Unreasonable demands

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/7 At Raggedy Andy’s Steak Land I had the 26-ounce Belt Buster Sirloin Steak and a Baked Potato topped with 1 entire stick of butter, also I drank a bottle of Night Train and smoked 9 Swisher Sweets Cigarillos — afterwards I would have found somebody to hump but I was having trouble working my face

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/6 Friends, you will not believe how much the Stress was BUILDING UP inside of me now!! I felt like my heart was going to EXPLODE right then and there, so I decided to just immediately give in to all of my familiar Vices: eating, drinking, smoking, and later hopefully some humping, all to excess

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/5 I have always been self-conscious of my lips — they have little to no color pigment in them, and Patricia my Ex-Wife knew this and used it to hurt me!! When she became Mrs. Bob F. Scott, I should never have been so Vulnerable and told her I wore lipstick, even at night in bed with the lights out

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/4 Patricia my Ex-Wife yelled at me over the telephone: “BOB SCOTT, HAND OVER THE SUBARU, YOU SWEATY CADAVER-LIPPED MOTHERFUCKER!! OTHERWISE I WILL CALL UP RONNIE AND HE WILL RIP YOUR ASS SO WIDE OPEN THAT YOU WILL NEED A CHIMPANZEE TO FOLLOW YOU AROUND AND HOLD YOUR INTESTINES IN A BUCKET!!!”

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/3 I went down to the Y.M.C.A. to relieve some Stress and was paddling around like crazy in the swimming pool and my Heart WAS RACING, when all of a sudden I saw somebody at the edge of the pool saying, “Bob Scott, a crazy woman named Patricia needs to talk to you right now!!”

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/2 Back in 2002, my own Pro Accounting/Photocopy Center/Video Shop was going bust — I thought those little D.V.D. discs were just a fad, so I still only rented V.H.S. tapes, and I could not afford any ink for my photocopy machine, also I was under criminal investigation for Felony Tax Evasion

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

🧵/1 Today while hearing all about the Bad News going on everywhere, I became SO DISTRESSED and my heart started pumping SO FAST it reminded me of the time I had my 1st Very Major Heart Attack — people, what kind of a Crummy World do we live in that can let JoAnn’s Fabric Store just go tits up???

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 02/03/2025

Friends, I am just not sure that I am cut out for the ‘Pod-Cast Life’ — at my age having to hook up all those wires wore me plum out, then doing all that talking about my Adult Circumcision and how much I like Tapioca Pudding left my lips severely chapped

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

If you are the Pro Truck Driver on C.B. Radio Channel 17 upset that Shoney’s was all out of Hot Fudge Cake today at lunch, you need to get the Hell over it by 9PM tonight — I do not want my return to Pod-Casting to get all drowned out, I have an Advertiser and need the extra cash money

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

Thank you for this Very helpful information on here — do you know if the ‘Reset’ will take away just the Cult memories, or does it completely start somebody over at birth??? Maybe I will just get some diapers no matter what — they come in handy in all kinds of ways

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

Yes, it turns out that Tina my old boss at the Jollibee has been traveling around with my former Religious Cult Leader!! Last month she kept saying to me she needed The Beatles’ 5th album, but then she up and vanished — I was going to give it to her this week but she just stares off like a Robot???

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 28/02/2025

Sorry, sometimes there are things that happen in Real Life that are much more important than being on Social Media, like becoming the Primary Breadwinner for 4 new Roommates: your friend who used to work at 7-Eleven, your old Boss at the Jollibee, His Holiness The Onoreshna, and his Concubine Audra

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Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt.bsky.social · 23/02/2025

I still can’t get over how shitty Kanye’s swastika T-shirts were. I washed mine ONCE and it shrunk two sizes. This country is going down the tubes.

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

If they want to save two companies from Bankruptcy at the same time, they should just roll them together — ladies would really appreciate the Chocolate Mousse Cake at Jo-Ann’s Hooters and more men would be drawn in to get their Decoupage supplies

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Bob Scott @thatmanbobscott.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

Lem’s friend Gary said there is a Very good chance my former Religious Cult Leader has only “Marginally Brainwashed” Lem and that there is a Shampoo we can get that will clear it right up — he cannot remember what issue of “High Times” he saw it advertised in, but he thinks it was 1978 or 1979??

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