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Thag Simmons

@thag-simmons.bsky.social
429 followers 888 following 1.5K posts

I grew up in Mass, I live in Michigan. I sell beer and beer accessories. I try to be a good shit. he/him I guess, close enough. Red Sox, Pats, Lions, Bruins, Boston College, and Tottenham Hotspur.

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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 14h
And who's having rallies at 2pm on weekdays in some fucking backwater an hour outside of the nearest population center?
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 17h
twitter is a nicer and friendlier place than bluesky: false bluesky has some of the most aggressively hectoring, pedantic weirdos on the entire internet: true
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 16h
I switched to Apple Music (from Tidal, I quit Spotify a while ago) motivated in part by all these playlists.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
I didn't know that! I remember hearing about and signing up for something called OM and then when I got there, it was called DI. I think I also remember the state governing body (I guess?) having a name that still consisted of OM. Makes me think it must have been a messy breakup.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Also, I too am immune to popularity. I got bullied *there*!
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
I joined right after they started calling it Destination Imagination, but yeah me too.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Its most common effect is that it creates the most annoying person in the world for like 25 minutes at a time.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
All Americans are at least a little bit protestant.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Do they sell Sirianni's Italian flag Eagles hat to fans? I feel like that would do insane numbers in Philly.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Oh good!
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
RIP Uni Watch
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Sprinting over deliberately to celebrate in front of what looks like a section of opposing fans is on-brand for a game played in a soccer stadium though, I like it!
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
It's like that running physics game from years ago, QWOP.
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The Evil-er Betty @ndrichter.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
As early as the 2016 election season, some jagoff columnist, I forget who, referred to him as "Donald the Dove".
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
That's so fuckin' funny, don't apologize lmao
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
God I really hate when I see a shirt I think looks nice in the store and then touch it to find out it's made out of fucking golf shirt material.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
These are people who are interested in "solving" things like art and music.
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BARO @baro.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
SO many people have a sense that they're entitled to the misanthropic isolation of a remote rural location but they want the amenities of a city too.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
They all got cabinet positions.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I think the shorts are somehow less weird than the fact that they wore blue and red for a minute there.
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Ryan Nanni @celebrityhottub.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I think every Yankees game should include one instance of fan interference just so we can see the incredible faces Yankees fans make after they pull this shit
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NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
In calling on Teheran to wipe out Los Angeles and San Diego, Trump challenged long-standing norms of presidential comportment.
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Lake Superior! Live! @lake-superior.live · 05/10/2026
Current* conditions near Two Harbors, MN:
View looking west of the Split Rock Lighthouse sitting on the rugged shoreline of Lake Superior. // Image captured at (local time): 2026-10-05 06:18:12 CDT (about 1 min. prior to this post) // Image sourced from: youtube.com/@DuluthHarborCam1 // Current Temp in Two Harbors: 35 F | 2 C // Precip: clear sky // Wind: NW at 8 mph | 13 kph // Humidity: 91%
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Subpar pizza is usually serviceable enough in a pinch, but I find it difficult to power through let's say bad chow mein noodles that are mushy and overly oily and don't taste like anything.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
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Ben Rosen @benrosen.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
me in 1895: i’ll have a cocaine cola waiter: is brad’s drink ok?
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ceej @ceej.online · 04/10/2026
funyuns should be stronger. structural
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
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113642 @justdanthistime.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
The Man Who Shot Liberty Bibberty
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the babahuck @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
from 2001. no one’s doing product testimonials like this anymore. t.co/PEswCtbEZz
Toyota's unease at being associated with the Taliban and Al Qaeda is evident. In its September statement, the company said,
'Toyota does not have a sales or distribution channel in Afghanistan, and we do not export vehicles to that country."
Somewhat less laconic was Wade Hoyt, Toyota's spokesman in New York, who put the best corporate spin on the situation this week.
"It is not our proudest product placement," he said. "But it shows that the Taliban are looking for the same qualities as any truck buyer: durability and reliability."
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Nick (derogatory) 🎃 @slothropsmap.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
What a night in Los Angeles
A photo of a beautiful sunset in Los Angeles. October 3, 2026. In the foreground you can see a startlingly green lit porch
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
2.5oz maple cream (rum based) 1.5oz coffee brandy 0.5oz Jamaica rum Shake with ice in a tin and strain into a glass, shake a light dusting of allspice over top.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
The Dugout! I remember it.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I've noticed this too, it drives me nuts. A question I find myself asking "is that a dive bar, or is it just in an older building?"
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Jessica McKenzie @jessimckenzi.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
i don't think you should be allowed to call your business a speakeasy if it has a yelp page
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
O...H...?
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Lake Michigan! Live! @lake-michigan.live · 03/10/2026
Current* conditions near Chicago, IL:
Rotating view from the top of the Shedd Aquarium where Chicago meets Lake Michigan. // Image captured at (local time): 2026-10-02 20:36:04 CDT (about 1 min. prior to this post) // Image sourced from: fox32chicago.com // Current Temp in Chicago: 58 F | 14 C // Precip: clear sky // Wind: NE at 6 mph | 9 kph // Humidity: 74%
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
If my dog had gills he'd be a fish!
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Hell yeah Coach!
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
H Town.
youtube.com
A Screw Mix: Paul Revere - Beastie Boys - DJ Screw - Chapter 185 - Staying Down
YouTube video by hits & sips
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I have the same big fat ugly potato head as him but at least mine isn't oozing bile from every orifice constantly.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
If I was running for office and somebody asked me about Hasan Piker, I'd say "yo goober, why the fuck are you talking to me about Hasan Piker?"
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The Atlantic has become The American Conservative for people who don't want to be seen reading The American Conservative.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
It's like Juggalo facepaint made of hair
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Good news for everyone who's bummed they weren't around to witness the Leaning Tower of Pizza in Quincy, there's still one in Saugus!
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Andrew Fear 🎃 @andrewfleer.com · 02/10/2026
Nelly at an art museum: Hey, must be the Monet
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
You still could, there's an identical leaning tower atop another restaurant about half an hour away in Saugus, Massachusetts if you're ever in the neighborhood. The place in the photo had a second location that eventually became its own (greatly expanded) thing.
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Thag Simmons @thag-simmons.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Genuinely looking forward to the lockout
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Chappell Ellison @chappelltracker.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
today's hardware designers could never conceive of what Kazuo Kawasaki was doing in 1996
A colorful retro computer setup featuring a purple keyboard, a small teal touchpad, and a teal circular CD-ROM drive with a matching keypad-style controller resting on top. The hardware is arranged against a dark background in a vivid purple-and-turquoise color scheme.
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