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Ted Voltolina

@tedvoltolina.bsky.social
180 followers 134 following 414 posts
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Reposted by Ted Voltolina
Lily Sullivan @lilyyily.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
All new HEY RANDY with special celebrity guest @timbaltz.bsky.social @brettmorris.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Are we just blowing past the illegal part which is the part that’s happening in the present
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Erin Whitehead @girlwithatail.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
New COLLEGE TOWN! Feat. dream guests @mitchsilpa.bsky.social & Nicole Parker! Hosted by Jan & Beebo! (Me & Seth Morris!) Coma wives! Dream demons! Comedic actor Daniel Day Lewis & more! Produced by @scottaukerman.bsky.social @brettmorris.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social comedybangbangworld.com
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
@brettmorris.bsky.social @pftompkins.bsky.social I'm listening to the Neighborhood Listen Q&A where you talk about what folks are doing while they listen. I listen on Friday nights while I'm scooping ice cream and waiting for my gummy to kick in, in preparation for a chill out evening with my wife 😁
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
@pftompkins.bsky.social catching up on the live shows and this is the second time I've heard you reference Henry's Dream. That's my favorite album of his. No one I know even knows who Nick Cave is! What was your reaction the first time you heard Wild God? That song in particular takes my breath away
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Philly people: I have a ticket for sale to the Foo Fighters / @qotsa-official.bsky.social show tomorrow 8/13. Just looking to get back what I paid: $185.50. Section M10, row 13, seat 7. I take Venmo and I will transfer in the Ticketmaster app. Please let me know ASAP!
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
This guy needs a conservatorship
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Time to investigate Whole Foods and Amazon
An Amazon / Whole Foods order pickup code "8647"
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
“Hey there’s a deadly virus going around, let’s not stand close together and let’s wear a little mask like a doctor does for a little while, if we all do it at the same time it’ll help” “YOU’RE RUINING MY LIFE! I HATE YOU!”
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Is anyone more cartoonishly pathetic than the weak little babies yelling at Fauci The saddest YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME toddlers who just couldn’t fuckin pitch in like everybody else
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Lindsay Graham was not just one of politics’ greatest worms, he was one of AMERICA’s greatest worms. Now he is in worm heaven, playing with that that great worm rock n roll band. Goodbye forever, monumental worm, you believed in nothing and it all worked out!
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Just listened to the Neighborhood Listen on @cbbworld.bsky.social with Nicole Parker, @pftompkins.bsky.social @brettmorris.bsky.social and @michaelawatkins.bsky.social. The contents of Dug's gift bag followed by Michaela's "bye, slut" got me so bad that I aspirated on my veggie dog
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
I've heard of BR, but BL?? @cbbworld.bsky.social
BL & BR
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
It's a true 5-stooler in Philly! @cbbworld.bsky.social
5 stools
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
Anyone need one VIP ticket for the @cbbworld.bsky.social Philly show? It's Row A and you don't want @scottaukerman.bsky.social lamenting an open seat right up front!
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
God damn it Google Maps, no spoilers!!!!! @cbbworld.bsky.social
A screenshot of Google Maps showing exactly how many balconies there are at the Miller Theater in Philadelphia
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
@scottaukerman.bsky.social I am so worried that you're going to beef your foot while imitating the robot who falls down dancing to Michael Jackson. Stop tempting fate on the @cbbworld.bsky.social tour!!
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
This month I got to act in a super-indie film in a way I’ve never had the opportunity to do before and it was thrilling and humbling. The film just wrapped and now money is needed for post-production! There’s so much crazy shit going on right now but if you can, throw in a buck? gofund.me/0eb5c84a2
gofund.me
Donate to Help Scout Tafoya Bring His Film to Life, organized by Scout Tafoya
I am a filmmaker named Scout Tafoya and I am in a bind. I'm supposed to be makin… Scout Tafoya needs your support for Help Scout Tafoya Bring His Film to Life
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
youtu.be/HKDo-aX4XuI?...
youtu.be
The American National Anthem (smoke weed everyday)
YouTube video by Baked Goods
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
I am interested in exactly one specific medical update concerning this particular individual
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
Look I don’t want to talk about this and no one is making me but let me just say: if you want your balls to be bigger you are dumb. The factory settings male body has many day-in day-out convenient features, but balls? A lot of worry! Whatever size you got? KEEP EM THERE
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
@kulapvilaysack.bsky.social happy mother's day!
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
@lilyyily.bsky.social Happy mother's day!
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
Never thought I’d be living in a world so shitty that I’d find myself saying WHO CARES ABOUT UFO PICS RIGHT NOW
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
I want cool dick shoe socks but they're sold out!
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
Everything is terrible, everything sucks, and @cbbworld.bsky.social is the bright spot
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
@danielobrien.bsky.social (and also @sorenbowie.bsky.social because I don't think Daniel checks his mentions) this really helped with my two boys! www.amazon.com/stores/Snoof...
amazon.com
SnoofyBee
The Clean Hands Changing Pad-
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
@lilyyily.bsky.social We're going to miss you on tour this summer! But if what Scott alluded to is true and that's the reason, congratulations!!!
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
A joyous holiday to you and yours youtu.be/HKDo-aX4XuI?...
youtu.be
The American National Anthem (smoke weed everyday)
YouTube video by Baked Goods
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
@cbbworld.bsky.social @scottaukerman.bsky.social Without any spoilers, what is the proper order to listen to today's 420 eps - CBB Kushmageddon / Kushtopia #1?
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
@jacquisneal.bsky.social you were hilarious on the Neighborhood Listen! Please come back again!
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Comedy Bang! Bang! World! @cbbworld.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
Happy Wet Day proper! Enjoy your 45-60 minute showers 🚿
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Erin Whitehead @girlwithatail.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
A decade ago the country elected a known rapist. And from that day forward we’re supposed to make our little phone calls to our reps about the other bad things the rapist and his friends keep doing? I’ll make them but like, gosh, I feel like we saw this coming?
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
Congrats @sorenbowie.bsky.social on your new garage! And congrats @danielobrien.bsky.social on your new baby!
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Comedy Bang! Bang! World! @cbbworld.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
Vote for the podcast that WON’T quit. vote.webbyawards.com/PublicVoting...
Vote for Comedy Bang! Bang! for the Webby Awards.
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
@pftompkins.bsky.social Charles Dumpster at the 2016 live @cbbworld.bsky.social show is one of the best characters I never heard before today! I hope you bring him back someday!
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
A thing that’s fun to think about is that when it happens it will be a GLOBAL celebration. Like there will be video from around the world of people dancing and laughing and singing
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Erin Whitehead @girlwithatail.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
I think once we see people murdered in the street on our phones on a regular basis we can stop bleeping the word “shit?”
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Scott Aukerman @scottaukerman.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
Michael Bolton with a gun!
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
@scottaukerman.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social screw it, I can't wait, we're watching Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day Special tonight!!!!! ❤️
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
When the dog succeeds in catching the car and not only does he not know what to do next but he notices that he was also somehow the one driving the car: the Epstein files
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Ted Voltolina @tedvoltolina.bsky.social · 11/02/2026
@rejectedjokes.bsky.social just bought tickets to your Philly show in November! Is this going to be a Solo Bolo or will you be bringing any friends?
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Lily Sullivan @lilyyily.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
never met a libertarian who wasn’t a white guy that loves to argue
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Erin Whitehead @girlwithatail.bsky.social · 05/02/2026
New COLLEGE TOWN!! Feat. @showmanandydaly.bsky.social & @charitycorin.bsky.social!! Hosted by Jan & Beebo (me & Seth Morris!) nighttime spaghetti-o’s, ultimatums, saving humanity!? Produced by @scottaukerman.bsky.social @brettmorris.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social www.comedybangbangworld.com
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Lily Sullivan @lilyyily.bsky.social · 04/02/2026
yeah ladies, please smile more while you talk about Epstein
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
I think it was a big mistake to try to improve upon the crude animation of The General. It makes things that much harder for Shaq
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
When it happens I think it would be both fun and funny if after the celebrations die down no one ever says the name again or acknowledges he ever existed. Like see how long we can keep it up
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Erin Whitehead @girlwithatail.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
Lindsey Graham looks like a goldfish you keep thinking it’s time to flush but then you see a bubble.
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Erin Whitehead @girlwithatail.bsky.social · 19/01/2026
On the way home from book club, at red lights, she recreated some of her listening expressions in the rearview mirror. An utter nightmare. Each time she had interrupted then laughed at her own joke echoed in her head. And the one smart thing she had to say about the book came to her an hour later.
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 17/01/2026
Doo dah Doo dah
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