iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

(Stepping on stage at the social anxiety Olympics) I feel imposter syndrome when people see me doing yard work 7.0 | 8.1 | 7.9 | 7.7

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TV: the stock market fell as 10-yr treasury yields surged to over 5.6%, 130 basis points higher since the beginning of the Iran war Me to my wife: I can’t answer any follow ups but the warlocks are at it again

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I should train my dogs be able to track down my keys and shit

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

My credit score went up 99 points since last month despite me being in the exact same financial situation as I’ve been for years, what a useful metric to dictate all large and vital life purchases

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Don’t people know you’re supposed to follow urinal rules for parking spaces

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Initially, I thought it should be pretty straightforward to regulate not allowing some enigmatic black box whose reasoning is entirely opaque make decisions about treatment and billing, but then I remembered that’s what we already had before AI, so I think we’re cooked here.

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Me: the best part of waking up is Folgers in my cup Therapist: dear lord

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

You have a certain new glow about you, like you just had your first child, or the check out lady called you ‘hun’

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

And this is my walk-in closet. To the untrained eye, it may look like a laundry room

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Chaucer Doth Tweet @levostregc.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

EARLY MODERN ENGLISH

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“You’ve been pre approved for a credit card” Do you know by whom? They should probably get fired

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I hope everyone who reads this post takes 3 big Ls today (Live, Laugh, Love)

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Really nice temperature out today. But I can’t enjoy it because I know it means the sun’s conserving its energy to go buck wild one more time before November.

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Hitler, Epstein; people really don't live in enough fear of some world event coming along and eternally fucking over their last name.

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Worst part about being away from home for a week is how everything in the fridge ages 14 years.

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Happy to see the GOP shoot themselves in the foot a little over a month before midterms. Only way it could be better was if they turned the gun around first.

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Right wing white dudes’ John Wick self-insert wank-offs and fantasy slop has been systematically oppressed by the halls of wokeness for too long

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Passed on the absentee and mail-in ballot today because I think it’s safer to cram it directly up my GOP congressman’s ass

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When I’m 80 or 90 or whatever, the most consistent aspect of my identity throughout my entire life will be the cell phone number I’ve had since I was 16. Maybe put it on the gravestone?

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Phone: you have an update ready You have an update ready. You have an update ready. Me: fine, update Phone: whoa fella, caught me off guard here, I need 5-10 mins to verify this

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Sorry sir the ice cream machine is broken

Still from the Nathan Fielder Elizabeth Holmes doc, cropped just to show her unblinking face

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If you can water a plant, can you milk a baby

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If you can water a plant, can you milk a baby

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Sorry sir the ice cream machine is broken

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Another area where this breaks down is in conflating the legality, which most people don’t even care about in this case, with the morality, which is that a hothead president who famously doesn’t listen to advice started a needless war that got thousands of people killed, including schoolchildren.

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Excited to announce that my posts are now dishwasher safe! If you have a problem with a post or think it needs some cleaning up, there’s no need to reply, just put your phone in the dishwasher.

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(Software designer trying to think of a new idea) what if when people closed a program it didn’t close?

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Excited to announce that my posts are now dishwasher safe! If you have a problem with a post or think it needs some cleaning up, there’s no need to reply, just put your phone in the dishwasher.

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2008: there’s an app for that! 2026: there’s a fucking app for that?

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“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” “…can I see some pictures first?”

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“Health” section headline writers should be put in a gulag for the harm they do to society.

Matt Damon says cutting one thing out of his diet got him down to his
'high school' weight

"I literally, just because of this other thing I did with my doctor, stopped eating gluten," Damon said. "I used to walk around between 185 and 200. I did that whole movie at 167. And I haven't been that light since high school. So it was a lot of training and a really strict diet." With “it was a lot of training and a really strict diet” highlighted.

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I would never join an AI death cult polycule, but it still hurts I wasn't asked

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They should make a dad that answers texts

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Today’s discourse has inspired me to try to be nicer on the internet

A saint or something in black garb holding a bible, rosary beads, and cross necklace

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Laying down in my hotel room when I realize I didn’t hang the housekeeping enchantment ward on the doorknob, scrambling out of bed and bolting across the floor like my life is at stake

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Limitations: this would clearly work for everybody of all ages, they’re just too busy, depressed, and broke to make it to the petting zoo

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Jesus preparing to ride into town. Seeing someone unload on a creep in the replies.

The meme of two muscular people clasping hands/arms in solidarity.

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That terrible feeling when you forget to show up to the ADHD breadline because you have ADHD

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Don’t judge a book by its cover, my paralysis demon has some decent takes.

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