iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Hello computer. Please fan the flames of my main character syndrome until the only space I can engage with is a virtual world that’s tailor made to aggrandize my self-image. I want to look out into a world and see nothing but myself.

Famous painting of Narcissus staring into a reflecting pool.

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Everyone’s mind is going to “easy bake” but no one ever talks about the easy bake for da boysss

Creepy crawlers molding oven kit. A plastic oven where you put in dyed rubbery liquid that cooked inedible bugs

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

There is genuinely no hell too hot for these monsters

The policy provided that migrants could be swiftly removed without notice to third countries that have
provided credible diplomatic assurance that they will not persecute or torture the individuals. For countries that have not provided such assurance, deportees would be notified of their destination and US authorities would assess the likelihood of perse-
cution or torture only if the individual raises such fear on their own.

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Sorry sir the ice cream machine is broken

Still from the Nathan Fielder Elizabeth Holmes doc, cropped just to show her unblinking face

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

“Health” section headline writers should be put in a gulag for the harm they do to society.

Matt Damon says cutting one thing out of his diet got him down to his
'high school' weight

"I literally, just because of this other thing I did with my doctor, stopped eating gluten," Damon said. "I used to walk around between 185 and 200. I did that whole movie at 167. And I haven't been that light since high school. So it was a lot of training and a really strict diet." With “it was a lot of training and a really strict diet” highlighted.

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Today’s discourse has inspired me to try to be nicer on the internet

A saint or something in black garb holding a bible, rosary beads, and cross necklace

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Jesus preparing to ride into town. Seeing someone unload on a creep in the replies.

The meme of two muscular people clasping hands/arms in solidarity.

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Circa 1957, Barthes predicted the $35/plate industrial bistros of the new millennium

STEAK-FRITES
Steak participates in the same sanguinary mythology as wine.
Steak or bifteck is the heart of a cut of meat, mythologically it is meat in the pure state, and whoever eats it assimilates a taurine strength. Apparently steak's prestige relates to its semi-awness: blood is visible in it, natural, dense, compact yet sectile; incient ambrosia can easily be imagined as this kind of heavy natter which diminishes under one's teeth so as to make one ware of its original strength and at the same time of its plas-icity in pouring into man's very blood. Full-bloodedness is teak's raison d'être: the degrees to which it is cooked are ex-ressed not in calorie units but in images of blood, rare steak

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

They’re actually saving money at $36 per uniform

An Etsy listing for “imperial officer inspired uniform”

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Imagine if 30 million 35-55 year old white guys just chilled the fuck out

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Took the gas station loosie vitamins and now I can only see people when they talk

“Vital 4U Vitamin” an assortment of different color and shaped pills all jumbled together in a little baggie at a gas station

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

This headline trying to recapture the Mangione magic by highlighting a job title they know people will misinterpret and that likely has nothing to do with the crime, pretty vile

Understanding VP Titles at Large Banks
• Common Officer Level: At major financial institutions like Bank of America, "Vice President" is a standard middle-management or senior-officer title rather than a rare executive rank. ®
• Experience Level: Employees typically reach the VP level after about 6 to 9 years of experience. ResumeAdapter
• Hierarchy: The title sits above Assistant Vice Presidents (AVPs) and below Senior Vice Presidents (SVPs) and Managing Directors. Thousands of staff members across various regional branches, desks, and business lines carry this title. ®

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Being forced to drink the Pilot gas station birthday cake cold brew for corrupting the youth

A container of cold brew labeled as being birthday cake flavored

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Why are the hash browns getting all scientific on me

The nutrition label for cauliflower hash browns showing a serving size with 162 calories

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

When you fall asleep on the long drive back from a family reunion and you wake up to your dad carrying you inside and it’s nighttime with yellow street lights and crickets, the wind is very still and smells like summer

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Leaked screenshots from Elden Ring 2

Polar bear with giant green traffic cone on its head

Polar bear with 4 stacked traffic cones on head: red and blue

Polar bear with head coming through the side of the traffic cone, revealing his face (left). Baby polar bear with traffic cone on head poking into another polar bear’s butt

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

When the personal trainer asks me what kind of tummy I want by summer

A cropped and edited version of the original with a tshirt drawn on top

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

70 — Augmented. The Deepening Well. cadence 74 · vigil 28 · lexicon 23 · polish 78 · drift 94 · chorus 38 Six lines read off all 17,646 of my posts. A percentile among 77 accounts, not an AI detector. b.mino.mobi/palm/?u=swamplizard.bsk…

A six-spoke radar chart of stylometric readings for @swamplizard.bsky.social. Cadence (how metronomic you are) 74th percentile; Vigil (how little you sleep) 28th percentile; Lexicon (how narrow your words) 23th percentile; Polish (how immaculate you are) 78th percentile; Drift (how unchanging you are) 94th percentile; Chorus (how much you broadcast) 38th percentile. Composite 70 of 100, "Augmented", archetype "The Deepening Well" — One subject forever, and the words keep coming. (Drift 94 over Lexicon 23). The scale runs from Pan (least machine-like) to the Loom (most). These are percentiles among 77 real accounts, not a probability that anything was machine-written.

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

How dare you bait me with a headline that starts “Helicopter carrying President Trump,” and everything’s ok

Helicopter Carrying Trump Flies Near Passenger Jet in Washington Airspace
Marine One, the helicopter that ferries the president, came within less than a mile of an Envoy Air flight on Tuesday, raising new concerns about air traffic control in the congested area.

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

yea, that’s what an elevator does dumbass

A sign saying “elevator down, parts have been ordered”

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

See, we just don’t need these kinds of sentences. We shouldn’t do this with words, we’re taking it too far.

Two Years After Federal Raids, an Eric Adams Power Couple Seeks
Podcast Fame

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Looking down while he’s at it and all you see is

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Apollo’s last night with balls, giving the cone a test run. He is undecided on all this.

A golden retriever in a gray inflatable collar with a plastic guard around it

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Sucks when you’re working on an infographic only to realize you weren’t given a big enough line budget, typical govt incompetence

Zoomed in map showing one of the lines doesn’t connect to a country

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

I think I’m missing the whole point of this article, isn’t this just what being married is? Or is my wife scamming me

"We've always wanted to do things 50/50," Max, 31, says. "We made a commitment to each other that what's mine is yours, and vice versa."
The couple got married after two years together, when Max was earning £70,000 a year working in tech, and Hannah, who works in the charity sector, was earning considerably less.
Their salaries go into a joint account and their mortgage, bills, food, petrol and other household costs are paid out of this.
Each month they take the same amount for personal spending.
If one of them wants to buy clothes, make-up or go to the pub they can do that without feeling watched and
"it means we aren't accountable to each other for those things",
says Max.
They also divide money into different pots, including savings and smaller funds for predictable spending like haircuts.

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

Hazel hurt leg. Made vet appt. Please keep her leg and my bank account in your thoughts.

Australian shepherd sitting on the floor.

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

You telling me this guy was a scumbag?

Daniel Siad smiling and holding a cigar, looking like some evil Baltic twin Jason Statham would beat up in a dark dilapidated foundry

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

An account with this avatar was just blocked.

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Article finder for the weather channel surfing the internet, completely baked:

Do you speak your dog's language?
1h ago
Learn what your dog really hears when you talk to them and what it means.

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

1) Mitch McConnell reportedly dead 2) Lindsey Graham dies suddenly 3) Mitch McConnell suddenly alive I’m not saying anything, and don’t believe in dark magic, just making observations

After Weeks of Silence, McConnell Says He Is Recovering From a Fall
The Republican senator denied that he had suffered a heart attack and said he had left the hospital and moved to a physical rehabilitation center. He did not give a timetable for returning to Capitol Hill.

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Senate GOP leaders speaking with Mitch McConnell

A woman with her hands over a glowing orb with candles lit

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SwampLizard @swamplizard.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Can you share lever gates with a friend?

Still from the snarky “here’s how to share PS4 games” instructional video, with one guy handing a disc to another, with text spelling “lever gate” overlaying the disc

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