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Goot Hibson

@stochasticjack.bsky.social
317 followers 171 following 3.2K posts

Saint Dolly, pray for us.

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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 21h
Got a tune stuck in my head and almost had to call @populuxe.blacksky.app and whistle it to him before I worked out that it was a 26-year old Kyoko Fukada song, followed by the realization that she must be in her fifties now
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David Davies @dsixbass.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The news
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I feel like there's still a balance outstanding here
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
So here's my Matt Howarth story. My AuDHD brain insists on telling you all about how my whole life I have chased unique art styles, especially in comics. Take it as read that I grew up idolizing Walt Simonson's Manhunter and his one-off Dr Fate special, any issues of Heavy Metal I could find, etc.
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
God DAMMIT. Matt Howarth has passed away.
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
"Garn, Stephens, tell'm young'ns how ya almost caught that big mouth at Lost Lake agin."
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
The best part about this whole story is that I haven't thought about this motherfucker in YEARS. Died in reviled obscurity. Nice.
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Are we not, as a nation, long past giving even the tiniest shit about what dribble leaks out of the speech center of Bill Maher's decrepit brain? Put him on the same iceberg as DJT and push them both out to sea.
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I need to grow a set and start telling people when I do NOT want to do something.
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
"It's just this button right here. You just gotta press it."
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
LOL. Whizzed right down his own pants leg.
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
It is my sincere wish to someday meet the person who invented “six-seven,” and kill them on behalf of every third grade teacher in the world.
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Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I remember a really frustrating conversation with a generally decent cishet white guy about a news story where a woman was roofied. he went off about wishing he could beat that guy up to avenge her, and I was like "how about start with calling out your friends' sexist tweets?" and he was like 😳
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Jessica Ellis @baddestmamajama.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I have separated the art from the artist and am now whipping the art to stiff peaks, after which I will gently fold it into the artist before baking at 350 til golden and puffed
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Welp, (slaps knees, stands up) my day is made. See ya later.
Emo Philips liked my response to his joke.  All I have left on my Unrequited Approval Card are Sir Michael Palin and Tape Face.
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DerSensibleMaulwurf 🧑‍🦯‍➡️🇫🇷 @hspmauli.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Quelqu'un peut-il m'aider ? Il s'agit d'une enfant née le 17 août 1941 à Berlin. Elle a été enlevée à ma tante, alors âgée de 17 ans, par les nazis. Ma mère et ma tante étaient françaises et se trouvaient dans des camps de travail forcé à Berlin. 1/3
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
VIETNAMESE DRIVERS TEST Q14: When facing the wrong direction from the curb should you: A. Enter the roadway and turn at the next intersection to face the intended direction; B. Do a fucking 23-point turn in the middle of the goddamn street/alley/parking spot
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Walking into MUJI reminds my nervous system that I am not in fact currently being pursued by bears
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
It doesn’t matter how awesome one’s significant other might be; every so often you’re going to walk away from a conversation with them wishing for a cigarette
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
"You should really paste a bunch of cheapass gold-colored stuff on the walls here. Loads of it. I got ours from Temu."
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Just my luck that neither of the motherfuckers work right
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Harry Turtledove @hntdove.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Venn you see the truth...
Venn diagram. Top circle, Canada Geese. Bottom left circle, Toddler. Bottom right circle, Anti-Vaxxer

Intersection Canada Geese/Toddler: always pooping
Intersection Canada Geese/Anti-Vaxxer: wants everydead
Intersection Toddler/Anti-Vaxxer: incoherent ramblings
Intersection of all 3: can't reason with them
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Seems like a good time for LimeWire to come back...
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
RULE ONE: Do NOT leave JSN uncovered. RULE TWO: It kinda doesn’t matter if you cover him or not
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Micah @rincewind.run · 21/09/2026
congratulations to everyone on reinventing Worse Cable
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
When my mom started talking like this we put her in a home
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Taylor Strong @taylorklong.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
A goofy guy and a bombshell gal gotta be one of the most powerful power couple configurations of all time
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
If I could spend 150% of my disposable income on stuff from Muji I would
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Mia Murch @spacetimegothgf.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Another thing: "Stayin' Alive" for all of its hugeness is a two second drum loop with squelchy synth on top and gritty, surrealistic lyrics about the fall of NYC. Tell me that doesn't sound like post-punk on paper.
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Currently teaching at two schools. One is lovely and filled with supportive staff and clever children who want to learn. The other is… not like that.
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
The correct response to "Reporters were barred from recording video" is "Eat shit and die, losers," or it would be if the media had any remaining nads
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Honestly this is just cruel at this point.
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Man those Disney guys are GOOD.
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Happy Incriminating Evidence Day!
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Clement. GotDAMN. Burke.
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The Bookwench 🇨🇦🐱🏳️‍🌈 @shiftercat.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
@captainawkward.bsky.social talked about a conversation between an older man and some youths who weren't putting up with his transphobia: "What about women's sports?" "You've never watched women's sports with your hand outside your pants!"
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
ngl that sounds fucking delicious
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
So Earth-1 USED to be the main Earth and Earth-2 was the OLD one with the Justice Society, and Earth-3 were the evil versions, but then Grant Morrison changed all that and now Earth-ZERO is the main one and Earth-One is
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hailey @hailey.at · 12/09/2026
Vienna, Virginia
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Ian Boudreau @ianboudreau.com · 12/09/2026
I don't watch the Olympics to see a fair competition. I want to see some kind of super mutant throw a 16-pound hammer into the face of god
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Anna Hughes 🍁 @annaghughes.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
trying to make new friends as an adult
Amy Adams in Arrival holding the white board that says HUMAN while she's trying to communicate with aliens
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Took a minute #Keywords > 11 September 2026 I found all 5 words! 🟩🟩🟩🟩 ✓ 🟩🟩🟩🟩 6✗ 💡 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 6✗ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 3✗ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ✓ 🏆 Win streak 1 🔥 Play streak 2 keywords.bagpuss.org
keywords.bagpuss.org
Keywords
Can you discover today's five connected words?
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
He's right about one thing: Only he could make that promise. God in Heaven, please deliver us from this complete piece of shit.
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I dunno man. I had a stroke in 2017 and it didn't turn me Republican, although I suffered from severe depression afterwards. Fetty must've been hit with a baseball bat or something
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Covie @covie93.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
john fetterman is the first rat in history to climb onto a sinking ship.
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
First day back at school; teaching a second grade class. I have a brand new TA and I am trying to explain to him that the Chaos Goblins can smell fear
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
"Inspired by the...Starship Trooper uniform." Which was, in turn, inspired by... Hugo Boss?
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starrling @starrling.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Men who like to beat their chests and declare they're "a man's man," are usually anything but. He fits that bill. I will forever think of him as "No Tab Pete."
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Goot Hibson @stochasticjack.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
What the hell Vietnam
A giant zebra with enormous breasts in a pink bikini, holding a giant boba tea. Remember, you asked.
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