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Tom Reimann

@startthemachine.bsky.social
1.9K followers 65 following 661 posts

Comedian/humorist. Co-founder of Gamefully Unemployed podcast and streaming network - support us on Patreon! writer @ Some More News. Formerly of Cracked. he/him.

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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
The guys that run this site are galaxy-brained meatballs who only enforce their TOS against Palestinians and trans people so that’s all for me! I’ll leave my profile up for posterity.
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
This galaxy-brained shithead “it’s actually the people complaining about the problem that are the real problem!”
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
Gee man I thought the user experience was supposed to take precedence over your friend being irritated about doing his job but that’s my mistake! And when you’re banning people from the platform for complaining, *every post you make on this platform* is fair game for criticism. Hope that helps!
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
Never apologize for calling either of these guys bitches. They’re smugly hiding behind an ancient twitter meme to avoid taking any responsibility for the website they operate
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
User safety is supposed to be tedious my man! That’s the “work” portion of operating a site whose only value is user interaction! You just decided that being irritated by user complaints is more material than the complaints themselves, because you’re two shitheads with a clubhouse.
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Logan @thelogantrent.bsky.social · 04/10/2025
“Lorenzo D’Agostino, a journalist and another flotilla participant, said after returning to Istanbul that Thunberg was “wrapped in the Israeli flag and paraded like a trophy” – a scene described with disbelief and anger by those who witnessed it.”
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A.R. Moxon @juliusgoat.bsky.social · 04/10/2025
this is what happens when people who have never been oppressed a second of their lives try to invent oppression
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 04/10/2025
A cop pinned this crash on Lacy with a negligent homicide charge despite their footage showing Lacy a football field behind the accident. He actually slows down and drives around the crash in the footage, b/c it has already happened. Flagrantly false charges on a 24 year old kid & he killed himself.
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The Associated Press @apnews.com · 04/10/2025
Over 2 million people across Italy have rallied in more than 100 cities for a one-day general strike.
bit.ly
2 million rally in Italy for Gaza as general strike halts key services
Over 2 million people across Italy have rallied in more than 100 cities for a one-day general strike.
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David C Bell @moviehooligan.bsky.social · 04/10/2025
Get ready
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derek van vliet @derek.bike · 03/10/2025
and scene
a tweet by Dana Gould @danagould that says:

Thinking about Rush Limbaugh and how, now that he's dead, you never, ever hear about him. No one mentions anything he did.
Because what he did had no value.
It contributed nothing worthwhile to the culture. Nothing of lasting value.
He just made anger. Every day.
Rising, blooming & fading like a fart.
Then he died & was instantly replaced by a fleet of little replicas, farting fake fury five days a week.
Creating nothing of interest or artistic value to anyone.
Seriously, what an awful way to make a living.
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
It’s as though news for profit is a bad thing and needs to be held to a higher standard
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
Kristi Noem's on the roof at Broadview surrounded by snipers and Kat is still out there demanding to see what horrific conditions are going on inside.
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
That’s .001 percent of all jobs in America lost in a single month, which may not sound like much until you consider that it’s .001 percent of all jobs in America lost in a single month mediacenter.adp.com/2025-10-01-A...
mediacenter.adp.com
ADP National Employment Report: Private Sector Employment Shed 32,000 Jobs in September; Annual Pay was Up 4.5%
Private sector employment shed 32,000 jobs in September and pay was up 4.5 percent year-over-year according to the September ADP National Employment Report® produced by ADP Research in...
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
Killin’ Them Softly was five presidents ago
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
the Hulkster also stopped the gremlins from unionizing
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Jessica Ellis @baddestmamajama.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
It’s not like one of the most beloved scents for bookish people is books, or anything, no, we must become Flavortown.
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
If you see something like “Ben Affleck, 53, will star with Matt Damon, 54, in the new film by Christopher Nolan, 55” you should raise an eyebrow
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
I feel bad about this so let me clarify - this Daily Beast piece isn’t A.I. just because it made a weird stylistic choice in the headline. It probably isn’t! But including a subject’s age when you introduce them rather than when you quote them is an “error” that generative text routinely makes.
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
It’s just predictive text. The style is to use the subject’s age with a quote or when it relates to the story, like “‘Magic Beds are real’,” says Trump, 79.” But AI does it when it introduces a subject, like “Ben Affleck, 53, will host SNL with Matt Damon, 54.” It’s not wrong, just not quite right.
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Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
it's so funny that Greenblatt bent over backwards to these people and annihilated his organization's credibility with anyone left of center to get absolutely nothing from the right
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
It might be intentional! But deleting a weird video about magic beds is maniac behavior rather than old guy behavior so his age doesn’t connect as a joke to me, just superfluous information.
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
So did I, for like ten minutes
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
You’ll see it a lot in smaller publications and content farms
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
Yep! Any time you see a subject’s age clunkily inserted into the middle of a headline or sentence, that’s almost definitely AI. There are situations where it makes sense, we’ve all seen age written this way, but when it feels weirdly out of place, that’s predictive text
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
Putting the subject’s age in the headline is a dead giveaway of A.I.
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George Takei @georgetakei.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
Oh yes, this is clearly now.


A post on X by Mehdi Hasan (@mehdirhasan
) expresses frustration, asking how anyone can read a definition of fascism and not be alarmed, emphasizing that it is happening now. The post includes a quote from Cody Johnston (@drmistercody
) from one day ago, defining fascism as a form of political behavior marked by an obsessive preoccupation with community decline, humiliation, or victimhood, and compensatory cults of unity, energy, and purity. The definition describes a mass-based party of nationalist militants working with traditional elites, abandoning democratic liberties, and pursuing redemptive violence for internal cleansing and external expansion without ethical or legal restraints.
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Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
Tell me with a straight face he's wrong here
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
power vacuums created by insane despots and their sycophants usually turn out OK right
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
The generals left that meeting texting each other cool potential names for their junta
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Sen. Lemon Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
HEGSETH: *points to general's ribbon bars* "What'd you get that one for? Fucking your mother?" GENERAL: *sternly* killing vietnamese children
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
all legacy media must be destroyed, not just the nyt
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cass city @heavenlygrandpa.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
meanwhile at the Riyadh Comedy Festival
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
People Are Zorking Their Cheese Foobs Over This Video Of The Secret Police Chasing Dissidents!
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David C Bell @moviehooligan.bsky.social · 29/09/2025
God, I do miss my Old Noby shirt.
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
Reminiscing about all the times I stood ramrod straight, speaking to empty air
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Lupita Nihongo @otsumamiboy.blacksky.app · 28/09/2025
It is actually peak absurdity that we still have people arguing that voters should bend to the positions of their political representatives instead of the other way around.
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 29/09/2025
It’s weird Sean Bean never gets Oscar noms, he should’ve been clutching one as he went over the Falls of Rauros
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 29/09/2025
If precedent doesn’t determine cases there is no reason for higher courts to exist. You’re essentially appealing your case to the king.
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Logan Rees @jlrees.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
My good friend Barbara has been disappeared by ICE. Looking for any contacts or resources to help find her. @laist.com @latimes.com @lataco.bsky.social @aclusocal.bsky.social @nlg.la
My name is Tucker May. In April I married the love of my life, Barbara Marques. Right now I fear for her life.

A week and a half ago she was taken by ICE at our properly scheduled green card meeting at the Federal Building downtown. At the end of what we were told was a successful meeting, the officer used the excuse of a broken copier to trick her into walking away from our lawyer. Once separated from her legal counsel, she was arrested. The reason for her detention was a missed court date from 2019 which my wife was never notified about.We have been working with lawyers since that time to correct the situation. The Adelanto detention center has actively been keeping my wife from correspondence with her lawyer by delaying in giving her documents that were mailed to the facility.

Last night, she was taken from the Adelanto facility to an undisclosed destination despite our lawyer having filed a temporary restraining order to stop this from happening. They could be sending her anywhere in the world and we have no way of knowing.

I'm asking for help in bringing to the attention of media and authorities these multiple lapses in due process and proper procedure through the unwarranted deportation of a woman whose legal marriage has been duly recognized as legitimate by immigration through the 1130 petition process.

Please, if you have any contacts who could help, send them this information.
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Cristian Ramirez @cristianramirez.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
ICE must be destroyed
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
The mass walkout at the UN was nice and all but this is the continued reality
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David C Bell @moviehooligan.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
Assuming we can, there’s simply no way to fully recover from this without a lot of powerful people going to jail.
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
Take your pick - genocide, fascism, abductions, human trafficking, extrajudicial murder. None of it is real to them.
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
“Today President Donald J Trump signed a comprehensive strategy to investigate, disrupt and dismantle all stages of domestic terrorism. Common threads … include hostility towards those who hold traditional American views on family, religion and morality. Priorities include … civil disorder.”
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 25/09/2025
(The country cannot operate on the same principles as a business for countless reasons, suffice to say it is simply not designed to run as one, regardless of how hard people try to force it.)
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 25/09/2025
Sorry, everything he does is so breathtakingly stupid, it’s important to stop and appreciate how flat-out dumb he is every once in a while.
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 25/09/2025
There’s a looming showdown over the budget so the president is threatening to lay off his White House staff, because he thinks the country is a business and thinks firing people will get His Country The Business into the black for the 4th quarter.
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Tom Reimann @startthemachine.bsky.social · 24/09/2025
dr. fuckenstein’s monster would prolly just be his hog huh
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