iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Actual exchange I just had. Customer: I’ll have Smirnoff and grapefruit Me: We don’t have grapefruit Customer: I’ll have Smirnoff, 7, and a splash of grapefruit Me: We still don’t have grapefruit. Like buddy what do you think we’re doing? RATIONING THE GRAPEFRUIT???

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Ok I’m bartending on Halloween. I wanna be a pickle. I don’t know why but it’s so funny.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

I was bartending and a man asked me “how much extra would it be for titty milk” when I was making a beverage with cream in it. I genuinely think he believed women can just shoot milk out their boobs whenever they feel like it. I want him to keep believing that.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Also. A town I live adjacent to got hit really hard by a tornado. Tonight there was an event during which I got to Fountains of Wayne, Charlie Berens, AND Tony Shalouhb. @fountofwayne.bsky.social @charlieberens.bsky.social @greenbaypackers.bsky.social

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

In the year of our lord, 2026, I’m watching”Riverdale”for the first time. I’m two episodes in and I’m OBSESSED. It’s so dramatic. Like a soap opera that’s trynna be spooky. It reminds me of Twin Peaks and I’m here for it.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Watched the Packer game (GO PACK!) and if you’ve never been in a Wisconsin bar and were wondering what it’s like I just had a 20 minute conversation about whether 2 people could rub buttholes together. And that’s a standard post-game Sunday. #wisconsin

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

It hits different when you leave those kind of comments on FB.

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andy™ @andylevy.net · 14/06/2026

never forget

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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

NBA is rigged! when Spurs had 29 point lead the game should have been immediately stopped and Spurs declared winner. Instead officials decides to play "4th quarter?" and Knicks "somehow" score enough baskets to win. Fraud!

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

Alright let’s see if the Knicks can knock this one out.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 04/06/2026

This is why I wanted them to play Oklahoma.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

The Knicks are in the playoffs for the first time since 1999 tomorrow. It’s basically Christmas Eve over here.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

My dad has dementia. This isn’t new for me so I’m not going to be all sentimental about it right now. But it’s a necessary backstory. I was on the phone with my sister tonight and I mentioned that I have 2 people I’ve asked to take me out if it ever comes to that (1/ however many it takes)

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

This banana pudding is gonna turn this year around, I can feel it.

Fire banana pudding incoming. Graham crackers AND Nila Wafers?
Standard issue Cool Whip.
Surprise! Mini chocolate chips.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

My life is legitimately the most stressful it has ever been but I think I’m doing pretty ok at pretending that everything is fine. Right? RIGHT?? JUST PLAY ALONG I NEED THIS.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

I’m so excited about the Knicks and I’m not going to apologize for it (that’s clearly a lie. I’m apologizing.)

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

The Knicks fan in me doesn’t want to hope. But holy shit. #nyknicks

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

In the event you think I’m exaggerating. Don’t mind my face.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

So a friend of mine asked me to go to a concert with him. (Floor seats. Maybe 16 rows back. Not that it matters but I’m telling you anyway.) I didn’t know who we were seeing. (I’m here and I still don’t). But friends. I can’t stop laughing.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 18/04/2026

I saw the end of a rainbow for the first time in my life today. It terminated on the lake. I didn’t take a picture because it was legitimately the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and being there was the only option.

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Sky Marchini @sky.skymarchini.net · 03/04/2026

why is pete hegseth always Visibly Moist

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 01/04/2026

I’ve been going through it and subsequently haven’t been in public for a minute. This former coworker who I just don’t like (rare for me, ok? I try. With everyone. Can’t with her). Anyway. She went “oh! It’s Rebecca!” And I didn’t even think. I just said “404 Rebecca not found.”

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Ron Sequitur ꙮ @ronsequitur.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

Game designers are really like, "The best way to get gamers to download our game is to force them to watch an ad for our game for 30 seconds, during which time a timer will count down toward 0, only at 0, a new ad for our game opens, and they can click away from that, but it just takes them to anoth

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Innsmouth Looksmaxxing @gonebabygone.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

Underrated runner here is that some general clearly told him to call it an incursion rather than a war and now he's never, ever going to call it anything other than an "excursion," we are ruled by Kevin Kline in A Fish Called Wanda with tertiary syphilis

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 09/03/2026

This entire man was deeply frustrated when I insisted that reading the directions might not be a terrible idea. This stubborn bitch managed to get the pilot light lit. I shouldn’t be this satisfied, but that’s what the devil’s lettuce gets you.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 07/03/2026

On very rare days I’m in an inexplicably good mood. And the good mood makes me less worried about other people’s perception of me -and that’s definitely a “like a snake eating itself” scenario but I’m not trynna unpack all that right now- but someone asked me if I was coming off a mushroom trip 🧵

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 07/03/2026

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 06/03/2026

Sometimes self care is going home after a 9 hour bartending shift and housing an entire box of Lucky Charms.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 05/03/2026

Bartending tonight I’d had enough of this group of dudes and I finally cut in with “a circle is, by definition, perfect. An imperfect circle is some version of an oval.” I was met- ABSOLUTELY FAIRLY- with blank stares. Pedantry isn’t a great quality in a bartender.

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Acyn @acyn.bsky.social · 27/02/2026

Roberts: Let’s bring in the Secretary of Energy, Chris Wright. He joins us now.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 26/02/2026

The way loneliness is amplified when you scream into the void, hoping for a reply…

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

Y’all ever get so angry your heart rate drops? This is a real question. I had to do some research because I thought I was losing it.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

Autocorrect tried to change “articulate” to “artichoke,” and honestly at this point yeah. Who gives a shit.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

And maybe it’s pertinent to note that I’m a bartender, but it shouldn’t be. If you have a problem with someone, or you think they have a problem with you? Use. Your. Words.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

Some new person at work doesn’t understand why we don’t get along. I know this because five different people have told me as much. You know who DOES know? Me. The one person you haven’t spoken to.

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crappystuffforjerks @somecleverthing.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

This bartender would like to report that she had no idea so many people were bobsledding experts.

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