iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Nate Postlethwait @natepost.bsky.social · 19/02/2025

“I can’t let it go, when I’m responsible to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” -Your nervous system.

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Nate Postlethwait @natepost.bsky.social · 06/02/2025

“But, it made you stronger.” It didn’t though. Our society calls it strength when it’s hypervigilance. There’s deep grief with healing. The loss of what you knew & acceptance that life will be different. “It made you stronger” doesn’t respect the depth of what really happened.

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Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle @drdoylesays.bsky.social · 14/02/2025

Safe relationships are not threatened by honesty, & safe people are not threatened by you working your trauma or addiction recovery. If a connection seems to be threatened by you getting real & working your recovery, get curious about what the hell that's about.

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Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle @drdoylesays.bsky.social · 10/02/2025

If it matters to you, it is not a "waste of time." You don't need anybody's validation to make something a worthy investment of your time & focus-- & you definitely don't need your abusers' or bullies' approval, real or imagined, to make an activity or interest valid.

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Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle @drdoylesays.bsky.social · 06/02/2025

I need you to remember that fear is a reflex. We don't "choose" fear. There is no shame in fear. You're experiencing a conditioned response-- no more, no less. Your "choice" is in how you talk to yourself & support your inner child through this fearful moment. Breathe. Breathe.

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Diane Langberg, PhD @dianelangberg.bsky.social · 05/02/2025

The body of Christ is called to be like Christ as individuals and as a gathered body of those who are one with Him. Anything that does not look like Christ is NOT the church, even if it purports to be.

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Diane Langberg, PhD @dianelangberg.bsky.social · 30/01/2025

The length of the grieving is determined by the griever, not by how long you, as a comforter, can stand to be sad.

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Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle @drdoylesays.bsky.social · 30/01/2025

I find it's useful to think of trauma recovery as a relationship between the "parts" of us that hold trauma feelings & memories, "parts" that hold hopes & dreams, & "parts" that just want a normal, functional life. Every "part" matters, needs care, & needs to be listened to.

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 28/01/2025

Hope is terrifying when you’ve learned to expect pain.

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Diane Langberg, PhD @dianelangberg.bsky.social · 27/01/2025

God demonstrates His words in the flesh with full integrity so that what He says and what He lives look the same; they match. His words, His process of carrying them out through actions in relationships, and the end result - they are all identical.

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Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle @drdoylesays.bsky.social · 27/01/2025

We're not doing anyone we care about or who depends on us any favors by denying, ignoring, or "stuffing" our trauma. Ask me how I know. Working our recovery w/ clarity, consistency, & humility is an act of love toward the people, pets, projects, & causes we care about.

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 27/01/2025

Trauma and brokenness takes really beautiful things and twists them. Self sacrificial love can twist into people pleasing. Caring well for others can twist into trying to earn our worth. Empathy can twist into “fixing” other people. Part of healing is untwisting the beautiful pieces of who we are.

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

Tonight, I am tired of being strong enough. I am weary of carrying so much of life alone.

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Emily Snook @hoopersnook.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

Stop. Saying. Telling. The. Truth. Doesn’t. Matter. It matters. Saying it doesn’t matter because it won’t change things is just enabling utilitarianism wrapped up in pseudorighteousness. Tell the truth. Scream it into the void. Truth has value in itself. Or it’s not truth.

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

When you marry someone, you make a commitment, and you promise to stay with that person through good times and bad. But the moment your spouse abuses you, your obligation to them is over. Marriage is not a vow to be abused!

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

I am finding myself struggling with my belief that as Christians we forgive and offer grace and live a life of redemption. I want that to be who I am, who we are as a people, but sometimes things are so damaged it feels impossible. How do we discern what is true repentance while being wise/safe?

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Diane Langberg, PhD @dianelangberg.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

Traumas suggest we are worthless and do not matter. Talking tells the truth and gives dignity because the story matters, as does its impact.

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Diane Langberg, PhD @dianelangberg.bsky.social · 22/01/2025

Repentance is not verbal only. It is always demonstrated consistently in a life over time. And true repentance is a process that requires time and more time to be made evident.

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

This. To do it all the right way and still end up with brokenness and pain is such a hard reality.

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

There is a fine line between dwelling on and drowning in the memories and holding them while you grieve. I don’t want to forget. It is not worth it to erase the beautiful good things just to avoid the pain. I keep the words and look at the pictures and the tears are expressions of love.

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Nate Postlethwait @natepost.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

When you grow up in an abusive home, you don’t become a people pleaser to please people. You become a people pleaser to keep the potential for more abuse away.

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

There is something so uniquely painful about grieving the loss of dreams, of a future you wanted, of hope you had. And it is not a grief limited to death. There are broken relationships that change the course of your life and that is no less painful.

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Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle @drdoylesays.bsky.social · 15/01/2025

It's not "childish" or "weak" to feel resentful that we have to cope w/ & process the pain we have to cope w/ & process, or to be jealous of those who don't have to-- and but also, we can't let that resentment or jealousy keep us from working our recovery today.

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Nate Postlethwait @natepost.bsky.social · 14/01/2025

Abuse survivors are heavily triggered by dishonest people. When you’ve sacrificed your time and security in order to figure out the truth, people who lack truth will feel like they’re pulling you back to your darkest days.

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Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle @drdoylesays.bsky.social · 07/01/2025

It takes practice to hold back apologizing for things you owe no one any apologies or explanations for. Not apologizing is a skill. You're not gonna be great at it for a long minute-- and that's okay. Work on it. Remind yourself that this, & you, are a work n progress.

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Nate Postlethwait @natepost.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

Enablers will convince a hurt person to be silent about what was done to them, while the perpetrator goes on and does it to others. They call it “being the bigger person.”

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Jessica Kantrowitz @jfkantrowitz.bsky.social · 25/12/2024

“If loneliness is a universal human experience, then, ironically, it is that which connects us to each other. I, in my loneliness, see you in yours. Let’s keep each other company there. Let’s hold each other in the special sadness of Christmas Day” open.substack.com/pub/jessicak...

open.substack.com

The loneliest day of the year (repost)

A Christmas benediction

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 25/12/2024

This. It’s so hard to celebrate when you don’t have the family or community. When you are unwanted.

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Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle @drdoylesays.bsky.social · 25/12/2024

Hey. It's just a day. Breathe for me.

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Steve Bryce (he/him) @stephenbryce.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

Intent matters. And impact matters. And interpretation matters too. The stories you tell and the stories you believe and the stories you hold onto will shape so much of who you are and what you do and where you go.

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David French @davidfrenchjag.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

"Give a man a sword and tell him he’s defending the cross, and there’s no end to the damage he can do." www.nytimes.com/2024/12/22/o...

nytimes.com

Opinion | Why Are So Many Christians So Cruel?

It’s a simple question with a complicated answer.

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

When it's real love you feel secure and valued, not constantly on edge. #HealthyRelationships #EmotionalAbuse

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

Not enough songs grieve the loss/abandonment of close friends and family. So many about death and romantic heartbreak but so few give words to losing other kinds of love. Maybe that speaks to how disconnected we are in our individualistic culture.

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George Takei @georgetakei.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

This sums it up, yes.

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Emily Snook @hoopersnook.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

ACTUAL Person of the Year

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

It’s strange to have done enough work on yourself to know you are falling into depression and know you will survive it but not be able to stop it from coming.

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

As a Christian I really want to believe that even in this life things can be redeemed and forgiven and restored but when I’m standing in the middle of the wreckage it feels irreparable. There are some things people say and do that can’t be forgotten or undone or fixed.

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Nate Postlethwait @natepost.bsky.social · 15/12/2024

How dare you ask someone “Aren’t you over that by now?“ when it was trauma that changed their whole life. These aren’t circumstances to get over. They’re uninvited changes to work through. There is no getting over it. There’s only healing from it and that takes sacrifice and time

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Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle @drdoylesays.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

You're worth sticking with. Even if the people who should have been there for you, no questions asked, once upon a time-- weren't. That was about them. Not you. Now, it's on us to not abandon ourselves like they abandoned us. We call this project "recovery."

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Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle @drdoylesays.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

You shouldn't have been left on your own to figure it all out back then, & you shouldn't have to figure it all out on your own now. Not because you're not capable of figuring it out-- but because you deserve to be seen & supported. Because you ARE worthy, not because you're not.

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

One of my best friends said “is it really that bad?” Another cautioned me against using the word “abuse”.

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 13/12/2024

So tired. So tired of being strong enough. Of having to be strong enough.

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 13/12/2024

Pretty sure it makes me a solid millennial if in the middle of really dark grief I want to post songs and/or song lyrics on social media.

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Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

Reframing deconstruction: “My idea of God is not a divine idea. It has to be shattered time after time. And God will do the shattering.” —CS Lewis

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Sarah Murray @smmurray.bsky.social · 10/12/2024

And unfortunately some of us have lived a pattern of this kind of emotional and relational abandonment. It is devastating actually.

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Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle @drdoylesays.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

Not being overtly, demonstrably valued by the people who should have valued us once upon a time leaves a wound. Whether we want to call that wound "trauma" or not doesn't especially matter-- it's still on us to acknowledge & resolve it w/ compassion & realism.

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Nate Postlethwait @natepost.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

If you were born into a family that had expectations for you to play a specific role in order for them to accept you, your work is deconstructing their ideas of who you were supposed to be and learning to respect who you are. You do not owe your family a character.

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