iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

The quick turnarounds we see in the stories of leaders who abused, malpracticed or betrayed those entrusted to them is often framed as God’s “grace,” but it really reflects the drive-through spirituality of our time.

131

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Divided hearts foment division. Whole hearts seek wholeness, reconciliation, connection. who are we becoming? who are we asking to lead us?

000

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

While we've rightly worked to prioritize emotional and spiritual health within church spaces over the past twenty years, we've often neglected character.

121

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

The roots of our contemporary reckoning with narcissistic leadership.

142

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

What we give our attention to not only shapes our brain, it shapes our character. Renewed character begins with a basic curiosity: What am I paying attention to? Our attention becomes our habits. Our habits reveal our loves. And over time, what we behold is what we become. #WhoYoureBecoming

020

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

If you’ve been following some of what I’ve been writing about character formation, you can join the launch team for my new book 🌱 Who You’re Becoming 🌱 Early access to the digital manuscript, along with some other gifts. I’d love to have you. bit.ly/WhoYoureBeco...

bit.ly

Thank you for your interest in Chuck DeGroat's book, Who You're Becoming, which is releasing on October 20th from Tyndale House Publishers. Author Chuck DeGroat invites us to return to the humble wo...

021

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

You might be surprised by what I named as the worst scandal I’ve witnessed in 30 years of ministry. At a time when nearly every day seems to bring the exposure of yet another leader, perhaps we need to look a bit deeper. Something is fueling this. sitwithchuck.substack.com/p/the-worst-...

sitwithchuck.substack.com

The Worst Scandal I've Seen In 30 Years

And Why a Reckoning of Character is Desperately Needed

250

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

More Ted Lasso… Less toxicity.

120

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

I often get questions like, “What makes a counseling session Christian?” and “How do you integrate psychology and theology?” Sometimes, just to be provocative, I offer what I call my “integration according to the Book of Esther” perspective. 1/2

120

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

Fauxnerability is what happens when we learn the language of healing but stop short of the surrender healing requires. Fauxnerability is what happens when we become experts in talking about suffering without having experienced the dark night.

120

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

More challenging than building a platform, multiplying followers, or planting a flag for a cause is growing in character. And we’re seeing the cost of elevating arrogance, rewarding pride, and bolstering bullies. #WhoYoureBecoming

010

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

Deep character change requires specificity. It’s one thing to confess, “I’m a sinner.” It’s another to name the ways you silence, manipulate, avoid, shame, or wound the people closest to you. Transformation begins when we move from abstract confession to concrete ownership.

020

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

Deep transformation and lasting character change can’t be hacked or fast-tracked. Personalities and behaviors formed over decades don’t shift overnight. I see too many leaders today who aren’t "slow-formed"—and their immaturity is causing real harm. #WhoYoureBecoming

050

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Character matters, no matter what political party you’re in, what denomination or network you belong to, or what theology you espouse. It’s time character begins to matter again - particularly for people of faith. #WhoYoureBecoming

040

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

What makes leaders and nations great? Today, I'm allowing St Gregory the Great (6th c) to shape my reflections. His wasn't the way of making himself or nations great. It was servus servorum Dei— to become "the servant of the servants of God.” open.substack.com/pub/sitwithc...

open.substack.com

An Ancient Antidote to Narcissism

Where I'm Seeking Wisdom in a World Obsessed With Power

020

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

We often say “please forgive me” to relieve our own anxiety rather than repair the relationship. Before asking for forgiveness, try asking: “Would you help me understand how I’ve hurt you?” Real repair begins with understanding the wound, not rushing the process.

130

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

“I’ve found my voice” can either reflect rootedness and differentiation or autonomic reactivity. The challenge is learning to discern the difference: Is my voice emerging from freedom and grounded conviction, or from pain and protest?

020

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

There is a growing hunger in psychological spaces for spirituality. What was once severed is now sought after, not least because what we're discovering is that communion is our deepest hunger. We're arriving at a contemplative psychology. We're returning to the heart of it all.

010

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

Let’s talk about grace. shorturl.at/bswfV

021

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

After a lifetime steeped in Christian faith and 25+ years immersed in psychology, I often hear a common starting question – what’s wrong with you? It’s helped me immensely both to recognize and listen for a different question, the first one God asks in scripture: Where are you?

000

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

Sin is not a word count. You don’t show that you take it seriously by using the word a lot. You demonstrate in action. And there is no need to pit this conversation on trauma and our ways of coping against the reality of sin. My thoughts: open.substack.com/pub/sitwithc...

open.substack.com

Is it Sin or a Style of Coping?

How Doing The Deep Work of the Heart Requires Both

010

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 10/06/2026

IT NARCISSISM OR IS IT SOMETHING ELSE? Sometimes what looks like narcissism may actually be emotional immaturity, insecurity, stress and burnout, neurodivergence, or another personality adaptation altogether. A short video for you. www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8rX...

youtube.com

Is it narcissism or is it something else?

YouTube video by Chuck DeGroat

100

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

Character growth is reflected in our ability to stay regulated when confronted with hard truths about ourselves. Rather than reacting with shame, defensiveness, appeasement, avoidance, rationalization, or minimization, we can remain connected—to ourselves, to others, and to reality.

010

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

After about 15 years of discerning if I should do it, I’m finally sharing some free videos with a range of content on YouTube. I’ll keep adding. All free. I’d be grateful if you subscribed. YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/@SoulCareCol...

youtube.com

Chuck DeGroat

We're NEW here! Welcome to Soul Care Collaborative with Chuck DeGroat (PhD, LPC) — a space where ancient spiritual wisdom, relational neuroscience, and spiritual formation come together in the journ...

260

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 20/04/2026

May I live this day Compassionate of heart, Clear in word, Gracious in awareness, Courageous in thought, Generous in love. —John O’Donohue

060

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 03/04/2026

On this day that undoes self-exaltation, I’m reflecting on when narcissism comes to…therapy. open.substack.com/pub/sitwithc...

030

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 18/03/2026

This passage is with me this morning as I’m traveling down to Kentucky amidst O’Hare’s inevitable delays for a handful of talks on wholeheartedness, narcissism, trauma, and more. Slower. Shaky. Stumbling. I feel seen.

110

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 15/03/2026

Our nervous systems evolved to respond to what is close and immediate. Today they’re asked to absorb suffering from across the globe. Do you feel the weight of this? open.substack.com/pub/sitwithc...

open.substack.com

The Weight of the World in Our Nervous Systems

Why constant exposure to global suffering overwhelms your capacity to care—and how to keep your heart open

011

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 08/03/2026

“Survival strategies eventually become morally consequential. What once helped us survive can eventually wound us—and the people around us.” open.substack.com/pub/sitwithc...

open.substack.com

Is it Sin or a Style of Coping?

How Doing The Deep Work of the Heart Requires Both

000

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 26/02/2026

Six years in the making and worth the wait—When Narcissism Comes to Church is now out in Spanish!

020

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 21/02/2026

One of the things I explore in my next book on character formation is how so many of us who talk about “self-awareness“ are, paradoxically, so lacking in self-awareness.

110

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 12/02/2026

Years ago I taught an adult education class through the Book of Revelation. Going back through my teaching notes, I found this: What would a Christianity look like without the Beatitudes, the fruits of the spirit, the Christ hymn of Philippians 2, and the economic critique of Revelation 18?

160

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 11/02/2026

What have I learned working with narcissistic men for nearly three decades? That defenses don’t soften through pressure. They soften through presence. That we’ve got to create the right conditions for deep change. Read more: open.substack.com/pub/sitwithc...

open.substack.com

Creating the Conditions for Deep Change

Why Safety Matters More Than Confrontation in My Work With Narcissistic Men

010

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

AUTONOMIC BULLYING happens when we presume authority over another person’s internal state and insist they override their embodied reality to meet our expectations. It treats dysregulation as moral failure rather than embodied reality. sitwithchuck.substack.com/p/autonomic-...

sitwithchuck.substack.com

Autonomic Bullying

How the Science of the Nervous System Invites Us to Honor Ourselves and Each Other

001

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 25/01/2026

Gaslighting is telling someone that what they know to be true — what they can see with their own two eyes — is false.

061

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 22/01/2026

open.substack.com/pub/sitwithc...

010

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 09/01/2026

She lived in a time where abuse was rampant, where authorities proclaimed, “We have the right reading of reality. Obey or pay!” She refused the game. She’d lead many into a new way of Jesus-following through humor, humility and ingenuity. I’d like to ask her how we might navigate our present times…

030

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 07/01/2026

Love to all of you who saw the news about Philip Yancey and heard a tender part of you whispering within, “Is there anyone we can trust?”

140

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 07/01/2026

Character isn’t declared nor is it performed. It grows in the quiet, where safety is present to foster integrity within, where love, joy, peace and more are not mere window-dressing but the fruits of an inner live cultivated in communion and connection, not division.

050

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

“We have grasped the mystery of the atom and rejected the Sermon on the Mount. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.” -General Omar Bradley, Armistice Day, 1948

060

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

The new year is not an audition for a better self but an invitation to notice what no longer serves and what quietly wants to grow. 🌱

181

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

New Year’s Longings: Leaving Resolutions Behind | Listening from the Heart open.substack.com/pub/sitwithc...

open.substack.com

New Year's Longings

Leaving "Resolutions" Behind | Listening From The Heart

020

Chuck DeGroat @chuckdegroat.bsky.social · 28/12/2025

"The great problem of our time is not to formulate clear answers to neat theoretical questions but to tackle the self-destructive alienation of man in a society dedicated in theory to human values and in practice to the pursuit of power for its own sake." —Thomas Merton

020