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Shadows of Control

@shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social
1.3K followers 88 following 2.9K posts

Writer, researcher, and survivor championing the fight against coercive control and domestic abuse. Freedom begins with awareness. shadowsofcontrol.substack.com

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 3h
Love bombing can feel like a dream at first. But it is a dangerous and manipulative tactic used by abusers to get control over you. Know the signs! 🚩#redflags shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com
What is Love Bombing? How to Spot It and When to Run!
Learn about the manipulative tactic of love bombing and how to recognize the warning signs of an abusive relationship.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 10h
Abusers weaponise your reactions to hide their abuse—and make you doubt your own sanity. #Gaslighting #EmotionalAbuse
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 12h
Physical violence often isn't where abuse begins. Control, intimidation, jealousy, threats, and constant criticism can appear much earlier. #DomesticAbuse #WarningSigns shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 20h
Gaslighting is a severe form of mental and emotional abuse, which creates a fog of uncertainty and self-doubt, gradually wearing down your self-confidence. Learn to spot the signs! #gaslighting 🚩 shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com
Signs of Gaslighting: 15 Red Flags to Watch Out For
Recognize the signs of gaslighting and protect yourself from manipulation and control. Learn how to identify this tactic and regain your power.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Abusers often show fake remorse to manipulate their partner into staying in the relationship. They will often apologize profusely and promise to change, only to revert to their abusive behavior once they regain control. #CycleOfAbuse #CoerciveControl
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
An abuser doesn’t have to forbid, order, or demand their partner do or not do something in order to be controlling. Often, they harass, criticize, insult, belittle, and lecture you so much that you go along with what they want just to avoid the psychological torment! 🚩
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Coercive control doesn’t always come with violence—it’s about slowly erasing your autonomy until you no longer recognise yourself. #CoerciveControl
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Survivors can feel betrayed not only by an abuser, but by the institutions they turn to for help. Being believed and supported matters. #SurvivorSupport #DomesticAbuse shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Shared custody with an abuser isn’t co-parenting—it’s court-sanctioned access to harm. #ProtectChildren #PostSeparationAbuse
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
“You just need to let it go.” Healing from abuse is not about “letting it go”—it’s about processing the pain and finding ways to move forward. Rushing a survivor’s healing or invalidating their emotions can cause more harm. Be patient and supportive instead.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
This abuser has been jailed for a second time for horrific abuse and #coercivecontrol of a former girlfriend. His first jail sentence was for the abuse of Chloe Holland, who tragically committed suicide as a result of his abuse. shadowsofcontrol.com/in-the...
shadowsofcontrol.com
Marc Masterton Jailed Again for Controlling and Abusive Behavior
Marc Masterton has been jailed in England for coercively controlling his former girlfriend. He was previously imprisoned for the same crime against.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
If it feels like a fairytale from day one, pause. Abusers often lead with intensity, not intimacy. Fast affection can be a red flag, not a soulmate. #CoerciveControl
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Marriage vows don't require anyone to tolerate abuse. Love, commitment, and staying together should never mean accepting control or harm. #DomesticAbuse #CoerciveControl shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Learn how you can support someone you care about that is in, or has just left, an abusive relationship. #DomesticAbuseAwareness shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com
Is Your Loved One Being Abused? Learn How You Can Help
Learn how to support domestic abuse victims with compassion and understanding. Help create a safe and supportive environment for those in need.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
You are not responsible for “fixing” your abusive partner. Trying to fix an abuser often leads to losing yourself in the process.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Abuse isn’t always obvious at first. It builds over time, slowly dismantling your identity while convincing you it’s your fault. #DomesticAbuseAwareness
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
You don’t 'owe' your abuser your forgiveness or understanding. Of course, you can grant it if you wish. But if someone deliberately hurt you, it’s not your responsibility to “see their side” or “understand their pain.” Your responsibility is to protect your peace.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Abuse often escalates in patterns. These are not random outbursts. They’re warning signs. #RedFlags #DomesticViolence
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Sometimes what feels like an intense connection is actually a trauma bond. The highs and lows can make leaving much harder than people realise. #TraumaBond #SurvivorHealing
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
David Edwards, a respected solicitor from England, was murdered by hiw wife, Sharon Edwards, just two months after their wedding. His death serves as a crucial call for increased awareness around male victims of #domesticabuse. shadowsofcontrol.com/storie...
shadowsofcontrol.com
David Edwards and the Hidden Struggles of Male Victims
Discover the harrowing story of David Edwards, a solicitor whose murder exposes the dark reality of domestic violence against men.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Toxic people manipulate and twist reality to maintain control over you. Don't let them define your truth. #Gaslighting #Manipulation
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
A Welsh man was convicted for abuse after secretly bugging his wife’s office to listen in on her private therapy sessions and physically attacking her. #CoerciveControl shadowsofcontrol.com/in-the...
shadowsofcontrol.com
Controlling Husband Bugged Wife’s Online Therapy Session
A controlling husband was convicted after secretly bugging his wife's room to listen in on her online therapy session and violently attacking her.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
An abuser may believe their needs, opinions, and wants matter more than yours. That sense of entitlement can become a powerful tool of control. #CoerciveControl #EmotionalAbuse
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Abuse doesn’t happen because the victim is weak. It happens because abusers are strategic, manipulative, and skilled at exploiting trust. #CoerciveControl
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Many people who escape domestic abuse report feeling misunderstood. Here are some things victims wish others understood about what it is really like to leave. #DomesticAbuseAwareness shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com
Readers’ Voices: What Abuse Victims Wish Others Understood
Gain insight into the experiences of abuse survivors and what they wish others understood. Learn about the complexities and challenges of leaving abusive relationships.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
The good times are not proof it wasn’t abuse. They’re part of what keeps survivors stuck. #traumabond #coercivecontrol
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Control over money can become control over a person. Taking your money, restricting access to accounts, or preventing you from working are all forms of abuse. #FinancialAbuse #DomesticAbuse
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
To outsiders, her relationship seemed normal, but she lived under constant surveillance and intimidation. #CoerciveControl shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...
shadowsofcontrol.com
“My Controlling Husband Dictated My Every Move” (Video)
Witness the journey of Bethany Green as she bravely shares her story of survival and empowerment. Uncover the truth about living with a controlling husband in this powerful episode.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
There’s relentless unpredictability in #DomesticAbuse. What’s fine today may spark fury tomorrow. This shifting ground keeps you off-balance, like walking a tightrope. You can’t prepare, can’t find your footing, & end up questioning your every move.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
They can demand rules from you that they never follow themselves. Double standards are often less about fairness and more about control. #CoerciveControl #EmotionalAbuse
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
A person's success, 'kindness', or good reputation doesn’t mean they can't be abusive —it just makes it easier for them to get away with it! ⚠️
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Hurt people don’t always hurt people. Many with trauma choose healing over harm. Accountability matters. #DomesticAbuseAwareness
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Words can cause real damage. Insults, humiliation, threats, and constant criticism can slowly change how someone sees themselves. #VerbalAbuse #SurvivorHealing
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
This is how abusers keep you off-balance—through ever-changing expectations that ensure you’re always “failing.” #EmotionalAbuse
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
“Abuse has an invisible grip. You can leave the abuse, but it can take a long time for the abuse to leave you.”
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Proving #coercivecontrol requires demonstrating an ongoing pattern of abusive behavior. While each case is unique, there are many steps individuals can take to substantiate their claims. shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com
How to Prove Coercive Control: Practical Steps
Learn how to prove coercive control in domestic abuse cases. Understand the legal framework and legislation addressing this form of abuse.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Psychological abuse twists your reality until you question your own reactions more than the harm itself. #Gaslighting #PsychologicalAbuse
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Some conversations aren't really about communication. They are about confusing you, shutting you down, shifting blame, or making you question yourself. #EmotionalAbuse #CoerciveControl
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Many people don’t recognize they are being abused because the perception of domestic abuse is often limited to physical assaults. Here are some things readers shared, which they didn't initially know was abuse. #DomesticAbuseAwareness shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com
Readers’ Voices: “I Didn’t Know I Was Being Abused”
Uncover the hidden signs of abuse in relationships. Learn how some victims fail to recognize abusive behaviors until it's too late.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
People love to ask abuse victims – ‘What’s wrong with you?’  A more compassionate approach would be to ask:  ‘What has happened to you?’  ‘How did it affect you?’  ‘What did you have to do to survive?’  SupportSurvivors
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Sometimes the warning signs only become obvious after you've lived through the relationship. Survivors often recognise patterns that others completely miss. #SurvivorStories #DomesticAbuse
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Excessive charm, gifts, and affection early on can be a manipulation tactic. It’s how abusers hook you emotionally before the control begins. #LoveBombing #DomesticAbuseAwareness
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Possessiveness can start small:    🔸Disapproving glances at your outfit.  🔸Criticism when you see friends.  🔸Innocent-sounding check-ins.    These behaviors escalate over time. Recognize them early to protect your freedom.    #CoerciveControl
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Abusers don’t always look like monsters. Their kindness is often a calculated part of the abuse cycle. #coercivecontrol #invisibleabuse
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
“Why didn't they just leave?” misses the reality of abuse. Fear, money, children, isolation, trauma, and threats can make leaving incredibly complicated. #DomesticAbuse #SurvivorSupport
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Being repeatedly accused of things you haven’t done changes how you see yourself. This article describes how false accusations are used to destabilise, confuse, and control. shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com
False Accusations and Control: How Abuse Turns Innocence Into Guilt
An exploration of how false accusations function in abusive relationships, turning innocence into guilt and maintaining control through confusion and shame.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Love builds you up; abuse breaks you down  Love celebrates you; abuse criticizes you  Love listens to you; abuse silences you  Love respects you; abuse controls you  If it doesn’t feel like love, it isn’t love.   #DomesticAbuseAwareness
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Domestic abuse is rooted in entitlement, the belief that another human being exists to serve, comply, and centre the abuser’s needs. When that belief is challenged by boundaries or autonomy, it often erupts into anger, punishment, and a justification for harm. shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
shadowsofcontrol.com
Abusive Entitlement: Why Domestic Abusers Believe You Owe Them
Explore the connection between entitlement and abuse. Understand how entitlement fuels harmful behavior in abusive relationships.
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Emotional abuse can leave survivors blaming themselves for years. You were never responsible for someone else’s abuse. Stop carrying blame for something you didn’t break. #CoerciveControl #SurvivorSupport #EmotionalAbuse
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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Abuse doesn’t stop at the victim. Children absorb the fear, the control, the silencing. It shapes their emotional development, beliefs, and sense of safety. #DomesticAbuseAwareness
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