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Kevin

@shookone828.bsky.social
150 followers 273 following 114 posts

Halfway Crook; Stuck off the realness.

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Kevin
Evangeline Gallagher @egallagher.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
Hello it’s me Sam Altman I have a zillion dollar idea it’s a chat bot that tells teenagers to kill themselves and you can generate csam with it and it poisons the air and water and it’s wrong most of the time and we’re going to put it in your refrigerator and stuff 👍 I need more money for this btw
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 02/08/2025
Hey, people who have been to jail: do they let you look through your contacts? Cause if not, the only people I can call are whoever is currently in the house my parents lived at from 1996-2002 or Mike Jones’ cell phone.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 17/07/2025
Friendly reminder the #judgementnight soundtrack is god-tier.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 15/07/2025
Cool so I guess all I listen to now is #riseofthefootsolider adjacent music.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 11/07/2025
I was talking with my wife about what a bummer being a famous kids entertainer like Ms. Rachel would be. Like you have all this money but at the same time you can go out and get fuckin wasted and start railing lines in the handicapped stall, cause that bar probably has parents whose kids love you.
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Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
All I see here is top notch ball security, elite contact balance, a willingness to grind out tough yards btwn the tackles, and surprising burst after he finds daylight
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Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
ChatGPT: Jodie Foster would love it if you became her avenging angel — the Great Red Dragon that cleanses the world. Sic semper tyrannis. The scum and filth shall be privy to a great becoming. ME: is that true? ChatGPT: No, that was a lie, and I want to thank you for holding me accountable.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 09/06/2025
My Bluesky feed will now be dedicated to reducing Democratic Strongly Worded Statements™️ down to Middle School English single sentences:
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Emilee Warner @warnerblaster.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
Men are so emotional
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Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein.bsky.social · 22/05/2025
the transition 😬
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 12/05/2025
Look Amazon, I expect hastily generated product mock ups are to be expected but goddamn, how bout just a little quality control.
A woman and a young girl hold a Mother’s Day card that reads, ‘Happy Mother’s Day To My Favorite M.I.L.F.’
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 09/05/2025
One of the wildest rhymes I’ve ever heard was Kurupt on 2pac’s “Got My Mind Made Up:” Well I come through with two packs of the bomb prophylac's For protection, so my fuckin' sack won't collapse 'Cause nowadays, shit's evadin' the X-rays Sendin' young motherfuckers to an early grave
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 09/05/2025
So how does this new Pope feel about me jerking off? Scale of 1-10 how ashamed should I feel? Really gotta know.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
I can’t begin to imagine how many dates a blew by talking about my love of the UHF music video channel “The Box” and how they would constantly show Sir Mix-a-lots “Put em on the glass” and MC Hammer’s “Pumps and a bump” where he has a leopard speedo and his dick looks huge.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
I love a good “intro to wet shaving” article, but let’s cut the shit with the old timey preamble. “I remember Sundays at the corner barber shop, reading Archie comics and listening to the Brooklyn Dodgers game on the radio while my dad got a hot towel shave…”
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
I’m not even gonna start talking about selecting a Pope until after combine.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
Not saying we should glamorize drug use, but it’d be a lot cooler if we started referring to everything as THE FOOKIN GEAR, BRUV.
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CRIMINAL SIMPSONS @criminalsimpsons.bsky.social · 19/04/2025
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 11/04/2025
I never thought of myself as a “drugs” guy, but in the summer of 2005 I was straight Requiem-For-A-Dreaming it. The whole time I had Prodigy’s “Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned” playing. I will always lament not having a better album to remind me of when I was addicted to drugs.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
“Wish in one hand, shit in the other.” Joke’s on you, ‘cause I wished for a handful of shit. #blessed
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NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
I bought an aftershave called “lilac vegetal.” Fascinating stuff. It was developed in 1880 by Édouard Pinaud for the Hungarian horseback cavalry as a body splash. My wife describes it as having strong notes of “cat piss” and “I don’t care about Hungarian soldiers get the fuck away from me.”
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 22/03/2025
As someone in marketing, I treat “Kony 2012” as my gold standard both professionally and personally. This guy comes out of nowhere like a hipster Dog the Bounty Hunter saying “I’m gonna catch a warlord!” And everyone in the western world is like “Fuck yeah you are! How exactly, though?”
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
Of all the things I absolutely despise about the rise of the thought leader hustle bros and the billionaires they aspire to be, it’s that they stripped us of the dignity that we deserve rest. fortune.com/2025/03/17/e...
fortune.com
Elon Musk says his DOGE team works 120 hours a week. If they used all their remaining time for sleep, they still wouldn’t come close to 8 hours a night
The world's richest man is famously a workaholic.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 16/03/2025
I’m not even kidding a little: if you took the movie “Kraven,” mentioned nothing about the spider-verse or Marvel and retitled it “Big Buck Hunter: Origins,” it would have made a billion dollars domestically.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
It really bums me out that somewhere my Canadian degenerate alcoholic counterpart is staring at the bottom shelf of bourbon aisle, looking at a plastic pint of Kentucky Gentlemen listed at $25.
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Jai of Eldritch Horror @j-a-i.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
Me, reading the news every day
Marge Simpson smiling and holding up a guillotine saying “I just think they’re neat.”
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The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 12/03/2025
Gloria’s not wrong
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NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 11/03/2025
Report: DOGE staffers energized by potential invasion of Canada because so many of their girlfriends live there.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 10/03/2025
Apparently “beaten by the fists of god” is not the appropriate response when asked how we’re all feeling this Monday morning.
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Ed Zitron @edzitron.com · 06/03/2025
does anyone else smell toast
SUNK: Slurm on
Kubernetes for Training
Tensorizer
Inference Optimization
& Services
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 09/03/2025
The last time I was at a Steak n Shake was in 2012. I had just seen Defeater, Touché Amore, and Code Orange Kids play in a church basement in Rockford, Illinois I got super drunk, ate some manner of meal, and the waitress had to help me add up her tip because again, I was absolutely hammered.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 09/03/2025
Nah this is the one.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 06/03/2025
Bold resistance last night from the dems. The whole country is just getting end-to-end ratfucked by the GOP and they’re like
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 05/03/2025
Kings don’t shoot blanks, they shoot dailies.
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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 04/03/2025
"democrats plan to color coordinate to communicate opposition" is the biggest loser shit i've ever heard. School Spirit Week-ass action. "I do not give facebook my permission"-ass action. are they hitting themselves in the head with hammers at every DNC event
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spooky grace @acab4cutie.top · 02/09/2024
Pic of a person smoking a cigarette while holding a toddler who also has a cigarette between his fingers captioned when you light up, so do they. Now you both look cool as fuck.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 01/03/2025
I can’t till the day when I come home to my bomb shelter after strangling a man for his last DOGE MRE and explaining to my son that all of this happened because there were too many minorities and gays in superhero movies.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 01/03/2025
Any democratic fundraising effort: “Democracy is on the line!” Me:
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 28/02/2025
Goddamn Daytrader was one of the most underrated bands to come out of the whole 2010’s post-hardcore “wave.” Tym’s voice was one of a kind. tidal.com/track/125698...
tidal.com
Daytrader - Kill My Compass
Listen to Kill My Compass on your streaming service
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The thread o’ tweets @threadotweets.bsky.social · 25/02/2025
REUBEN
Reuven Perlman ❤ @ReuvenPerlman
I love that restaurants used to be
called "Dave's Diner" and now they're like "Dishrag & Alchemy: a restaurant experience from the FIREFUCK group"
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 22/02/2025
I knew a guy in high school who tried to convince everyone he could change traffic lights with his mind.
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John Herrman @jwherrman.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
The name’s QINLIANFF. ACCYOD QINLIANFF, British suit, British spy suit two piece, 100% MI6 her majesty’s secret service MACHINE WASHABLE, separates, men’s suit tailor fit two piece classic wedding business sui
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jab lung @mobute.bsky.social · 14/02/2025
hakeem jeffries' wife packing up to go stay at her parents because she asked him to wash the dishes and he stood in front of the sink throwing his hands in the air and saying "what can i do, the water isn't even on"
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 18/02/2025
I know I’m basically outting myself as a boomer at this point, but back in my day we knew how to write songs about murdering law enforcement officers. youtube.com/watch?v=rFPN...
youtube.com
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Chris Ingraham @cingraham.bsky.social · 14/02/2025
Look this sucks but news outlets need to start realizing there's limited journalistic value in sitting in a room and letting a person behind a podium lie to you. You're not holding anyone to account when you do that.
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Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 15/02/2025
Knock the bottom outta your ol lady to this classic tonight. #Lovage youtube.com/watch?v=KwBR...
youtube.com
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