Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 10/11/2025Haha you stupid asshole.media.tenor.coma man in a suit and tie is making a sign language gesture while standing in front of a green wall .ALT: a man in a suit and tie is making a sign language gesture while standing in front of a green wall . 030
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 11/09/2025Fuck him and the folding chair he rode in on. Let’s hear more about those space rocks. 030
Reposted by KevinEvangeline Gallagher @egallagher.bsky.social · 26/08/2025Hello it’s me Sam Altman I have a zillion dollar idea it’s a chat bot that tells teenagers to kill themselves and you can generate csam with it and it poisons the air and water and it’s wrong most of the time and we’re going to put it in your refrigerator and stuff 👍 I need more money for this btw 175372194
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 16/08/2025media.tenor.competer griffin from family guy is pointing at someone in the crowdALT: peter griffin from family guy is pointing at someone in the crowd 040
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 02/08/2025Hey, people who have been to jail: do they let you look through your contacts? Cause if not, the only people I can call are whoever is currently in the house my parents lived at from 1996-2002 or Mike Jones’ cell phone. 160
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 17/07/2025Friendly reminder the #judgementnight soundtrack is god-tier. 070
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 15/07/2025Cool so I guess all I listen to now is #riseofthefootsolider adjacent music. 160
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 11/07/2025There’s a look that says “normal adults don’t do this kind of mental calculus and you have a profound problem” and you know it the moment you see it. 040
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 11/07/2025I was talking with my wife about what a bummer being a famous kids entertainer like Ms. Rachel would be. Like you have all this money but at the same time you can go out and get fuckin wasted and start railing lines in the handicapped stall, cause that bar probably has parents whose kids love you. 100
Reposted by KevinMina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 28/06/2025All I see here is top notch ball security, elite contact balance, a willingness to grind out tough yards btwn the tackles, and surprising burst after he finds daylight 931240603774
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 28/06/2025Hakeem Jeffries is having his “Jordan 95-96” run with Strongly Worded Statements That Don’t Mean Shit.media.tenor.coma basketball game is being played on a yellow backgroundALT: a basketball game is being played on a yellow background 010
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 25/06/2025 I usually make it a point to show up here regularly to tell you to go fuck yourself, and god it feels good to see all you Neo lib pieces of shit start to shift in your seats. Oh and go fuck yourself. 010
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 21/06/2025That’s enough bold, visionary Democratic leadership for today. Have a seat, sir. 010
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 14/06/2025It’s Strongly Worded Statement™️ time. No one strings together more eloquent filler in service of doing absolutely nothing than Hakeem Jeffries. Masterful. 010
Reposted by KevinChris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 13/06/2025ChatGPT: Jodie Foster would love it if you became her avenging angel — the Great Red Dragon that cleanses the world. Sic semper tyrannis. The scum and filth shall be privy to a great becoming. ME: is that true? ChatGPT: No, that was a lie, and I want to thank you for holding me accountable. 4990331477
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 09/06/2025My Bluesky feed will now be dedicated to reducing Democratic Strongly Worded Statements™️ down to Middle School English single sentences: 010
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 26/05/2025you can wipe off that grin I know where you've been It's all been a pack of 390 votesmedia.tenor.coma man playing drums in a dark roomAlt: Phil Collins doing the epic drum breakdown from “In the Air Tonight.” 050
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 22/05/2025Animgonnamisseverybodymedia.tenor.coma man wearing sunglasses and a hat that says eazy eALT: a man wearing sunglasses and a hat that says eazy e 020
Reposted by KevinKen Klippenstein @kenklippenstein.bsky.social · 22/05/2025the transition 😬 921957196
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 14/05/2025@nytopinion.nytimes.com right now:media.tenor.coma woman is sitting on a couch with her eyes closed while a hot dog is being thrown at her head .ALT: a woman is sitting on a couch with her eyes closed while a hot dog is being thrown at her head . 030
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 12/05/2025Look Amazon, I expect hastily generated product mock ups are to be expected but goddamn, how bout just a little quality control. 000
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 10/05/2025Whoa. Here’s the Strongly Worded Statement that’s going to strike a devastating blow against the MAGA death machine. This is history happening in front of us. THIS is Strongly Worded Statement above all others that we’ll be taught about in history books. 10/10. No notes. 040
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 09/05/2025“Doc, my dick is burning real bad” (climbs into CT scanner). 000
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 09/05/2025So this tells us a couple of things: 1) Kurupt practices safe sex 2) He believes the architectural stability of the scrotum is threatened by STD’s 3) Prior to HIV, sexually transmitted diseases could be identified by x-ray. 100
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 09/05/2025One of the wildest rhymes I’ve ever heard was Kurupt on 2pac’s “Got My Mind Made Up:” Well I come through with two packs of the bomb prophylac's For protection, so my fuckin' sack won't collapse 'Cause nowadays, shit's evadin' the X-rays Sendin' young motherfuckers to an early grave 100
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 09/05/2025So how does this new Pope feel about me jerking off? Scale of 1-10 how ashamed should I feel? Really gotta know. 000
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 08/05/2025Primitive Radio Gods “Rocket.” Featuring the hit song “Standing Outside a Camelot Music with a Used Gift Certificate in My Kikwears” 010
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 05/05/2025The Pulitzer Prize for being a Big Bald Piece of Shit goes to WaPo. Gargle my balls. 048727
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 05/05/2025This guy is a Staples assistant manager that got his hands on a gun. 120
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 05/05/2025Look at that fuckin gut. That’s the gut of a man who gets a smug satisfaction out of his wife wearing one of those algorithmic targeted “Not everyone meets their heroes. I married mine” t-shirts off Amazon. His aunt bought it for her, FYI. 120
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 05/05/2025His favorite movie is The Hangover only cause “you could never make a movie like that today.” 120
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 05/05/2025 Lil Timmy Toughguy rocking the Sportsclips #2 guard buzz cut, sparking up a grocery store humidor Cohiba. Little Eyemart Express “30% off a single pair” bitch glasses sitting on his bitchmade face. 150
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 30/04/2025“So yeah, that’s what the outline of MC Hammer’s penis looks like. Wanna go back to my place and listen to ‘Put Em On the Glass?’” 000
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 30/04/2025I can’t begin to imagine how many dates a blew by talking about my love of the UHF music video channel “The Box” and how they would constantly show Sir Mix-a-lots “Put em on the glass” and MC Hammer’s “Pumps and a bump” where he has a leopard speedo and his dick looks huge. 100
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 29/04/2025Homie you were born five years after 9/11. Your dad went to sports clips and used a Gillette Mach Force Four Way Swivel Quad Blade with Dual Moisturelock™️ technology. 000
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 29/04/2025I love a good “intro to wet shaving” article, but let’s cut the shit with the old timey preamble. “I remember Sundays at the corner barber shop, reading Archie comics and listening to the Brooklyn Dodgers game on the radio while my dad got a hot towel shave…” 100
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 28/04/2025I’m not even gonna start talking about selecting a Pope until after combine. 000
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 27/04/2025If it’ll help, I can make it feel a bit more like Twitter to ease the transition: Just minted 1,000,000 $XYZ tokens. Early adopters will be rewarded heavily. Liquidity locked. Contract audited. Next 100x gem? You decide. #Airdrop #DeFi #CryptoGems #CryptoNews #MoonMission #LFG 110
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 24/04/2025Not saying we should glamorize drug use, but it’d be a lot cooler if we started referring to everything as THE FOOKIN GEAR, BRUV. 000
Kevin @shookone828.bsky.social · 11/04/2025I never thought of myself as a “drugs” guy, but in the summer of 2005 I was straight Requiem-For-A-Dreaming it. The whole time I had Prodigy’s “Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned” playing. I will always lament not having a better album to remind me of when I was addicted to drugs. 000
