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𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫𝔨𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫🌙

@shleepwns.bsky.social
92 followers 62 following 193 posts

35. she / her. Virgo ☀️. Libra 🌕. Masshole. Hopeless Romantic. Nerd. Video Game Queen. 🎮 Baby Witch. 🔮 Satanist. ⛧ INFP. ✗o✗o M00NKITTEN on Twitch. 👾

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𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫𝔨𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫🌙 @shleepwns.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
I’m just tryna make some deviled eggs man.. I have suffered enough at the hands of the state, and I am absolutely entitled to flawless deviled eggs as compensation. “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of properly set yolks” — that’s the line, I remember it clearly.
An illustration of George Washington riding a rearing horse in front of a waving American flag. Over the flag is the parody text, "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of properly set yolks." In the lower-right corner are three deviled eggs, reinforcing the egg-themed joke.
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𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫𝔨𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫🌙 @shleepwns.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Anyone else think it’s weird that the LoZ movie releases in nine months and we still know next to nothing?
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Jesse Hawken @jessehawken.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
"I learned about eating a women's ass at the super bowl. This was a first time for me.”
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𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫𝔨𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫🌙 @shleepwns.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
My pockets are empty cuh. 😭
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Chiitan🌈ちぃたん☆ @chiitan.love · 21/03/2026
You can give all your love to another even when loving yourself seems impossible. That doesn't lessen your heart's truth. But starting to care for yourself doubles the love —you give more to them, and beautifully back to you. Your soul is worthy of gentleness. Nurture it. You're enough🏳️‍⚧️🌈
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Luke Ontario @coolhand.bsky.social · 22/10/2023
ugh why does it keep crying
One panel; a medieval illustration of a woman and a baby looking at each other like “the fuck is this.” The caption says:

Therapist: "Now imagine yourself holding and offering support to your inner child"
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
It's not even midnight and we're already at "Deport Elmo."

Elmo
@elmo
·
1h
That Bunny was AMAZING. Elmo thinks he should be called Good Bunny! Elmo loves you, Mr. Good Bunny! ❤️🎶🐰
Based Yankee
@thebasedyankee
You and Bad Bunny should be deported
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Rebecca Watson @skepchick.org · 19/01/2026
They're hoping this scares people into never criticizing politicians but in fact it only encourages me to word my insults in whatever way I think will be funniest being read aloud by a semiliterate cop to my doorbell camera. "Um, ma'am? Did you post that 'Gavin Newsom gargles Nazi cum, winky face?'"
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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
Clorox coming out with a bold "huff bleach" ad campaign
Recommended
0:16
New Clorox Scentiva Cherry Blossom-yeah, this bleach smells good.
Sponsored • Clorox
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𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫𝔨𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫🌙 @shleepwns.bsky.social · 16/01/2026
“Anti-Snoring Mask” Mmmhmmmm. 🤣
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sadvil 😎 @sadvil.bsky.social · 16/01/2026
protestors have painted what appears to be a tunnel on the side of the mountain, causing ICE agents to run into the mountain at full speed. disgusting.
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Vyxxin @gamingequalsluv.bsky.social · 10/01/2026
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Daniel Suitor @danielsuitor.com · 08/01/2026
This is a vetted fundraiser for the family of Renee Good, the woman who was killed by ICE in Minneapolis. www.gofundme.com/f/support-fo...
gofundme.com
Donate to Support for Renee Good’s wife and son, organized by Mattie Weiss
Please support the wife and son of Renee Good as they grapple with the devastating … Mattie Weiss needs your support for Support for Renee Good’s wife and son
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The Joe Gross @joegross.bsky.social · 04/01/2026
Literally a publication for eight-year olds 40 years ago
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Matt Shuham @mattshuham.bsky.social · 03/01/2026
I’m at Times Square, where an emergency “No War On Venezuela” protest just took to the street. Easily a thousand people here in real-feel 20°F weather. “No more coups, no more wars, Venezuela’s not yours!” “No boots on the ground no bombs in the air, U.S. out of everywhere!”
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Renegade Kangaroo @renegadekangaroo.bsky.social · 01/01/2026
Video game ads in the 90's were something else...
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Alasdair Stuart @alasdairstuart.com · 27/12/2025
We joke about this being a weird week but it’s a weird fucking week. You’re going to want to rest and be frightened of resting. You’re going to think you want to work. Focus will Be a ghost. Eat some cheese, drink some water, keep a Notebook nearby, let yourself drift.
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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
joining the "cybertruck owners only" group on fb is one of the best decisions i've ever made. every so often when i'm scrolling through fb getting pissed off, i get to see a little treat like this
Cybertruck Owners Only
Joe Sawyer • 19h • O
...
X
Had an issue stopping my Cybertruck from a low speed the other day and had to make a choice to crash it or risk going tumbling down a mountain to probable death. Sucks to see, but it held up well and only a few minor scrapes and bruises.
Still going over every choice made and trying to understand why it would not stop and was gaining speed from 5 mph to 12+ while on the brakes. ABS was probably hurting more than helping on this 26° downhill angle. Hoping to be able to talk to someone at Tesla as I have the crash recorder data already.

[cybertruck upside down like the shitty little brick it is
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𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫𝔨𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫🌙 @shleepwns.bsky.social · 21/12/2025
Andrew Tate losing the day after Jake Paul…? Is the world healing?
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 19/12/2025
The Epstein Files, everybody!
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
President currently feuding with a beloved American comedy icon who was murdered 24 hours ago.
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Naomi Kritzer @naomikritzer.bsky.social · 26/11/2025
There's a pretty great Tumblr post about this:
A Tumblr post from user "nitewrighter," March 26.

Me: I don't get it. I thought I was doing a lot better than I was a few years ago. I'm like 10 times more on top of things than I used to be. How does everything feel terrible now? 

The Tiny Me in OSHA-approved Hi-Vis Gear Who lives in my brain and pulls all the levers: Boss, it's the fascism. You're completely gunked up with cortisol due to the fact that your entire daily life is now underscored with a haunting awareness of the rapid erosion of your rights, dignity, and any and all social safety nets, and you're also bearing witness to the most vulnerable people immediately being persecuted. This creates a natural stress response that basically means you're going to continue having memory and organizational problems, as well as emotional imbalances.

Me: BUT I HAVE A BULLET JOURNAL AND I MEDITATE NOW.

Tiny OSHA Me: BOSS, THE FASCISM.
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𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫𝔨𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫🌙 @shleepwns.bsky.social · 27/11/2025
Who took this picture of me? 😅
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Gloomy @rogloom.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
John Romero got frustrated while posing the model for the first Doom cover that he did it himself and the model originally hired to be Doomguy is actually the demon grabbing his arm
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 22/11/2025
Meets Zohran on Friday, dressing like an East Village poet who wrote something called "A Fairest Autumn" by Saturday.
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
Look guys I’ve spent the last day playing this over and over again. Don’t read the comments first and stick it through to the second verse. It is in fact one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.
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The Associated Press @apnews.com · 08/11/2025
With SNAP benefits going out late, nonprofits are begging for pet food donations to prevent desperate owners from surrendering their dogs and cats to animal shelters.
bit.ly
Families on SNAP worry about not just feeding themselves but also their pets
With SNAP benefits going out late, nonprofits are begging for pet food donations to prevent desperate owners from surrendering their dogs and cats to animal shelters.
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Leah Greenberg ❌👑 @leahgreenberg.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
serious note: they're gonna try 5x harder to sabotage the midterms after tonight and we're gonna have to organize on a literally historic scale to stop them
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The Onion @theonion.com · 31/10/2025
ICE Agent, 7-Year-Old Both Wearing Same ‘Military Commando’ Halloween Costume
ICE Agent, 7-Year-Old Both Wearing Same ‘Military Commando’ Halloween Costume
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Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 31/10/2025
sure, you might not be able to eat or go to the doctor, but check out how nice Trump's new marble shitter is
I renovated the Lincoln Bathroom in the White House. It was renovated in the 1940s in an art deco green tile style, which was totally inappropriate for the Lincoln Era. I did it in black and white polished Statuary marble. This was very appropriate for the time of Abraham Lincoln and, in fact, could be the marble that was originally there!
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𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫𝔨𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫🌙 @shleepwns.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
I’m telling all ya’ll right now, if I see anyone making food content for the next month and it’s just bullshit food waste, you’re dead to me.
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Oliver Willis @owillis.bsky.social · 27/10/2025
“They’ve got money for ICE and golden ballrooms but not for hungry families” is so easy it’s almost funny
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R. Souissi @rsouissivibes.bsky.social · 23/10/2025
The Jokes write themselves...
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 23/10/2025
SNAP benefits expire in one week.
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RyyBOOdo @ SQXL @ryyudo.bsky.social · 22/10/2025
someone who's good at the economy is this a good deal?
Gmail tab labeled "Promotions". The top email preview reads: "P.F. Chang's -- Enjoy $8.99 cock..."
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jaythechou.bsky.social @jaythechou.bsky.social · 16/09/2025
I Photoshop Paddington into a movie, TV show, or pop culture until I forget: Day 1650
Paddington in Jurassic Park (1993)
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jaythechou.bsky.social @jaythechou.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
I Photoshop Paddington into a movie, TV show, or pop culture until I forget: Day 1666
Paddington in Silent Hill (2006)
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Cats of Yore @catsofyore.bsky.social · 21/10/2025
Photo from my collection, writing on the back says “General Nuisance. Summer 1954”.
Photo of a longhaired tortie cat lying on a sunny sidewalk with grass lawn on either side. It has a round little dark object in front of it, a toy maybe.
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🫶🏻Layla🫶🏻 @laylabelle3.bsky.social · 19/10/2025
The president of the United States ladies and gents Or someone doing it in his name bc we know he’s not smart Enough to be able to do any of This
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𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫𝔨𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫🌙 @shleepwns.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
“Our parents aren’t having children” Yeah, because this place is a fucking hellscape. There’s also plenty of children in the system that need help that ya’ll refuse to feed, let alone help, but god forbid a woman rather an abortion than being another human being into this country.
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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
the amount of time conservatives spend thinking about childrens genitals is legit crazy
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WeRateDogs @weratedogs.com · 15/10/2025
This is Dumbo, Mela, Peaches, and Chiquis. They are a championship napping team. Their built-in sleep masks give them that competitive edge. 13/10 for all (TT: brokeboilopez)
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Lynn Stahl @msbtterswrth.altgov.info · 11/10/2025
Hot off the presses! If you need a bigger size to print your stickers let me know!
The Portland frog as a founding father, surround by the words "give me ribberty or give me death"
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile debuts tonight on The Onion's YouTube channel at 7 p.m. ET. Finally somebody will release some dang Epstein Files if you know what I'm sayin'!!!
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The Onion @theonion.com · 08/10/2025
Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person. Watch Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile at Thursday, Oct. 9 at 7 p.m. ET/6 p.m. CT. Only at The Onion on Youtube here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjhSoGcQhWU
Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person.
 
Watch Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile at Thursday, Oct. 9 at 7 p.m. ET/6 p.m. CT.

Only at The Onion on Youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjhSoGcQhWU
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 08/10/2025
The most important political thread of our time.
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TizzyEnt @tizzyent.bsky.social · 07/10/2025
One of the proposed designs for the 250th anniversary commemorative silver dollar
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Radley Balko @radleybalko.bsky.social · 05/10/2025
Jesus. You think it can’t get any worse, then you read these stories. US citizens and legal residents illegally arrested and held for days. **Native Americans** getting detained and held for days because ICE agents are too stupid/racist to know about tribal IDs.
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