M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I accidentally won a silent auction the other night, and now you’re girl is going to a wellness retreat in SoCal oh god 120
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 29/09/2026My gf: “Can I interest you in some bed fudge?” Me: “Yes, but you’re going to need to rebrand it.” 220
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 25/09/2026My girlfriend went away to war (to a music festival in Ocean City, Maryland). I pine. I yearn. I pace my widow’s walk. I send pathetic texts. She’s been gone for 24 hours. 020
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Every time I see a video like “watch this journalist destroy JD Vance” I end up being extremely disappointed. 130
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 18/09/2026I’m absolutely insufferable when in love, but in my defense this is generally true. 030
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 17/09/2026Me, 16 years late to a party: hey you heard of this band called sleigh bells? I really use them to focus when I’m deep in a spreadsheet. 020
Reposted by M.maggie spiders @squishythings.com · 17/09/2026guten morgen everybody let’s get out there and fuck up those spreadsheets 0124
Reposted by M.derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 15/09/2026When they eventually make a movie about this time, please don't put the male politicians in good suits. IMO, the ugly, low rent tailoring should be part of the story. 381217632547
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 14/09/2026“Just let it fucking happen,” my coworker about me trying to prevent my cat from going onscreen in a zoom. 040
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 13/09/2026I think there’s nothing worse than photos of straight men with cigars. 110
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Girlfriend and I just keep inviting each other to spreadsheets we’ve made. When you know you know. 051
Reposted by M.Penny Nickels @pennynickels.bsky.social · 10/09/2026Nathan Fielder do Erika Kirk next 051
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 07/09/2026“You’d make a great trad wife.” Me to my girlfriend after she busted out the homemade peach jam. 130
Reposted by M.Jeanne Thornton @jeannethornton.bsky.social · 05/09/2026You know, as someone who has waited for a lot of buses and subways, actually not that much happens in a New York minute. It's a pretty bad metric 1192
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Took me years of considering but finally bought the fashion brand company moth mini dress, and I don’t know what I was waiting for! 020
Reposted by M.Peter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 04/09/202628k followers and zero faves on this one David, sounds like you might be an expert on fake supporters 32183681
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 29/08/2026[orders black lipstick in preparation for all of October’s events] 020
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Just had my first AI scheduling assistant for healthcare. So absolutely not. Absolutely not. Now I’m on hold AS GOD INTENDED I GUESS. 010
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 27/08/2026Got a hot date with my girlfriend on Saturday to see Coyote vs. Acme 110
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 26/08/2026A child commented on the size of my legs, and his dad said nothing and did nothing. Park Slope parents deserve the tyrants they’re raising. 120
Reposted by M.Jessica McKenzie @jessimckenzi.bsky.social · 26/08/2026...sorry ya be with you in a sec i just have to fact check something someone posted on the internetyoutube.comFerngully Toxic Love HQYouTube video by Razor Candy 1216
Reposted by M.joyce’s monster 🎃 @joycelaurie.bsky.social · 26/08/2026if you are a gay icon STAY INSIDE!!! it’s DANGEROUS OUT HERE!!!!! 2450251043
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 26/08/2026LinkedIn, this is not your moment to discuss Dolly’s business acumen. You should have done what I did: put her in slide decks years ago while she was still alive. 020
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 24/08/2026I woke up at 3 am to find my cat curled up against me (cute, par for the course) gently kneading his sharp little claws into my bare arm (less cute, and new!). 021
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Tonight my stepdad looked meaningfully at me and said “king James was gay” 020
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 21/08/2026I’ll say this. The difference between a well-written romance novel and most of what ends up being recommended to me is like a quality of life difference. 010
Reposted by M.BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · 20/08/2026I like when women’s clothing brands try to be disruptive and they’re like, “🫵 You are NOT a number! 🙂↔️ Find your fit using our no-numeral system.” And then you have to figure out if you’re a size Beauty Queen, size Bombshell, or size Headmistress 518915
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 18/08/2026Sometimes someone who’s like been told they’re hot will go “face for the algorithm” to announce whatever needs announcing, and I’m like the algorithm changed. It’s weird sick memes for the algorithm. Your face is now lost in a sea of others. Welcome to being average. 120
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 15/08/2026I’m dating someone I don’t mind being boring with, which is really surprising. One of my friends said she liked boring couple stuff, and I looked at her with disgust. Now here I am texting my gf about my favorite bagel order as if we are talking about the mysterious of the universe. Foul. 140
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Men on the subway still keeping their legs spread wide in this the year 2026. 130
Reposted by M.RMJ @rmccarthyjames.bsky.social · 11/08/2026My Woke 1 was in like 2009 idk what the rest of you all were up to. I’m on like Woke 7 or 8 by now 282
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 09/08/2026I need the summer to end. I need to wear a fleece hoodie like I’m going hiking when really I’m running errands in the city. 450
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 09/08/2026Skipping church because it’s a strong humid heat today in a place without a/c, and would any rich people like to pay for HVAC for an Episcopalian parish in Brooklyn? 020
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 08/08/2026My sweetie is on a camping trip and sent me close up shots of moss and mushrooms, yeah this is a flex 030
Reposted by M.Jesse @requiemarm.bsky.social · 06/08/2026Can the New York Knicks patch things up with the San Antonio Spurs? 2413141296
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 02/08/2026My friend asked if I just soft launched the gal I’m seeing on instagram, but I have always lovingly posted photos of my friends on IG so for all anyone knows it’s just me being the personal photographer of yet another beautiful friend. But, like, technically, sure. 050
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 31/07/2026One of my guy friends has been acting like a Proud Dad about my new relationship. Moment of silence as I throw myself out the window. 130
Reposted by M.mitch (he/him) @drmitchpdx.bsky.social · 30/07/2026i guess i got that dog in me doing oversight generally speaking 2768
M. @shivroyponytail.bsky.social · 28/07/2026Found a woman who loves Mothman as much as I do. Truly god is real and a cryptid. 000
Reposted by M.Hagai Palevsky (he/him) @dialhforhagai.bsky.social · 25/07/2026Wile E. Coyote, despaired, takes a bucket of paint and a brush and paints a beautiful two-bedroom house on a mountainside. He paints a beautiful coyote wife in the window, and two adorable coyote kids running around in the yard. He tries to enter this new coyote life, but it is inaccessible to him 138126322820
