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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag

@scratchbomb.bsky.social
1.3K followers 560 following 11K posts

Oh, hi! Didn’t see you there. formerly of the other place. once: seen at Amazin’ Avenue, Deadspin, AV Club, Class Action Park. now: will talk about the Ed Grimley cartoon for likes

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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 7h
ALL THE. JAKE THINGS
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 7h
if you’re doing this why not make a ham milkshake too
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David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social · 10h
Now That's What I Call Cops Vol. XVII
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 10h
this is a guy who knows exactly what Donald Fagen wants out of a flugelhorn
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 11h
this man is about to arrange the fuck outta the horn section for a Steely Dan track
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 12h
well i’m bookmarking the shit outta this
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 15h
wow he looks so young here
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toilet bones @toiletbones.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Found the email I sent when I got accidentally added to the faculty listserv of an orthopedic surgery clinic and nobody would remove me so I sent this email to all faculty/staff/med students and they removed me almost immediately
Hello Bone Colleagues, 
I have invented a new type of ankle and I'm very excited to show it to you. Early raccoon trials suggest a 60% increase in scurrying speed and dramatic increases in fine motor banditry. I know we are not supposed to create super raccoons, but I think you'll change your mind and professional ethics when you see how cute they are. I believe we are on the cusp of a new era in advanced human scurrying because if medical science has taught me anything, it's that improvements in raccoons correspond 1:1 to improvements in humans. 

--
[My name]
Chief Bone Inventor
Chair, Department of Foot and Leg Innovation
Lord Mayor, Musculoskeletal Medicine 
Hartford HealthCare,
The Bone & Joint Institute at Hartford Hospital.
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 17h
I was never into that album, even for the stuff that isn’t *yeesh* so that was an easy sacrifice for me
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 17h
it’s rough listening to anything after that outside of some live albums and generally I just don’t
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muscular baby jeb lund @mobute.bsky.social · 17h
it's the sort of effete reference that won't make anything better but they oughta name whatever the "raze and burn any trace of trump's works" law the Bonwit Teller Act
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Ash @santanaelchan.bsky.social · 18h
The label "multi-fandom enjoyer" always makes me chuckle like yeah dude I like things
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 18h
Le Chonk should be the name of a cartoon character beloved in France that is also incredibly racist
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 19h
usually “everyone’s mad at me, I must be doing something right” is a nitwit’s argument but it does apply in the case of Tom Morello because everyone who is mad at him is intensely stupid
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 19h
i was waiting to get into a show at The Caverns this summer and right behind me were 2 central casting stoners disdaining another band by saying “they put on a good show but man…they ain’t Ween”. after running through their shared Ween lore for 10 mins they sighed “man we’re so lucky to have them”
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pete rogers, professional diaper changer @petemrogers.bsky.social · 19h
one of my favorite tweets of all time
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 20h
you cannot seek enlightenment, you can only accept it when it is revealed to you
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ⵣ @bintjeanette.bsky.social · 21h
BDSM (bread dipped in soup mm)
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
there is no known antidote for Yankees Fever
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ceej @ceej.online · 06/10/2026
Interesting. I guess the New York Times thinks it’s appropriate for their employees to threaten to bonk me on the head and play horseshoes with my prominent goose egg. To fill my mouth with piano keys that fall out while tweety birds circle around my noggin. To turn my head into a giant whistle,
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Spooky Sara (Endless Halloween🔪🩸🪦) @pashion.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
Its the convenience store, gas store scene from No Country for Old Men with thematic who runs the store speaking with Javier Bardem and it reads 
"you know what? fuck you. Get the fuck out of my store"
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Adam Weinstein @adamweinstein.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
These are the basic contours of every major religious schism
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Richard Hanaina and Michael Tracey passed away during their podcast. officials say they likely could not stop farting until the room filled with enough toxic fumes to suffocate them both. per the coroner each man failed to detect the danger due to their individual rank stenches
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
if a brain gym is a real thing then this guy needs to hit weight room pronto
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Donald Trump now going door-to-door trying to shock people
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
and there's jon, first-year coach of the saints. he's lobbying the refs, let's see if we can lip-read what he's saying ... it ... it looks like "they practiced that." it seems he's accusing his opponent of practicing their plays beforehand. team practice is allowed by rule, but oh boy. he is furious
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
one thing I’ve learned is that a ton of people might know all the lyrics to their favorite songs but that doesn’t mean they’ve ever actually listened to them
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Jon Solomon @jon.wprb.com · 06/10/2026
Special Person Entering The World Egg Yolks.
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Jessica Ritchey @jmritchey.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ib3p...
youtube.com
MST3K - I Know
YouTube video by Stirner's Retrowave
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I’ve said this a lot but there’s this myth that leftists are ignorant of right wing ideology when in truth we are fed it constantly, and that’s a big reason why we don’t want anything to do with people who find it attractive
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
thinking again about that “just have lunch with people across the aisle!” post, as if the biggest obstacle to getting along is ignorance or misunderstanding. i understand and know a lot about right wingers, that’s why i know having lunch with them would be a nightmare
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Mike Drucker @mikedrucker.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Just saw someone say their AI runs their fantasy football team and I can’t stop laughing. Like, I’m sure everyone’s doing it or something but it’s very funny to me that pretending to be a team manager was so hard that you needed to pretend to pretend to be a team manager
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
sorry I have an “ideological bias” toward believing everyone is worthy of living a dignified life free of want and cruelty and don’t really wanna split nachos with someone committed to the exact opposite ideal
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
*sitting down with guy who thinks me and most people I know & love should be publicly executed* the fried chicken sandwich here is good
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
ok but other than that
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
leaning on the lid to get it closed like it’s an overstuffed suitcase until I notice his head is draped over the side
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Ben Johnson 🏺👻 @gamedesignerben.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
When witches are cackling and telling you “Fire burn and cauldron bubble,” take a step back. Breathe. Those are normal things for fire and cauldrons to do. They’re trying to mess with you.
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
it’s in the same category of people not understanding “Born in the USA,” “Fortunate Son” etc. there’s always gonna be a percentage of people who don’t listen to lyrics or can’t pick up on context clues or who are otherwise exactly stupid enough to think RATM was just an “angry” band
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Professor Frink saying this
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I guess his glacial pace is more understandable when you learn he is constantly being stung by wasps
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David Gerard @davidgerard.circumstances.run.ap.brid.gy · 04/10/2026
henstomper

oh my god the slot machine company says i have to keep putting coins in their machine or Im Gonna Get Left Behind. thats so scary. and it has to be true because they know more about slot machines than i do

oh my god the slot machine company says if we dont give them money to build the world's biggest slot machine the chinese are gonna build it first and win all the prizes. and then there wont be any prizes anymore
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Are these my bananas or my neighbor's bananas?
post from r/treelaw: Are these my bananas or my neighbor's bananas? with a bunch of bananas growing over the side of a fence
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Otis Redfoot @otisredfoot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
would that it t’were
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Stupid Car Questions
screenshot of post from r/StupidCarQuestions: My uncle went drunk driving and doesn't remember what happened the previous night, What could he have possibly happened for the tire to look like this?! with pic of the most shredded tire in history
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
wow didn’t realize when mom leaves the room she doesn’t disappear forever but is just in a different place I can’t see.
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
“oh you devolved into Homo habilis in the sensory deprivation tank but you can’t remember it’s garbage night huh”
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
most good pitchers are a joy to watch but Blake Snell said what if my pitching recreated the experience of calling your insurance co about a denied claim
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Keith Stack-o'-lantern @keithstack.com · 04/10/2026
Curtis Sliwa with speech bubble coming out of him
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
watching Blake Snell pitch recreates the experience of telling your parents how to log into Netflix over the phone
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