ALT: Im Gonna Come At You Like A Spider Monkey Texas Ranger

WASHINGTON—Reflecting on the past fling and remarking how time had flown by, local golden retriever Daisy told reporters Thursday that she could not believe the guy she hooked up with 10 years ago was...

CARY, NC—Describing the experience as “a revelation,” 38-year-old Derrick Henard told reporters Wednesday that everything had finally clicked for him after he was given a diagnosis of stupid. “I remem...

ST. LOUIS—Tearfully admitting that the lifelong problem had finally reached a breaking point, local man Darren Moore told reporters Tuesday that he doesn’t like who he becomes when he’s around salsa. ...