iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

uhh i was digitizing a box of old VHS tapes for my uncle... you guys ever hear of something called "The Mayonnaise Channel"??

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

drunkenly knocking over mint-lemon infused water in a too-thin glass container while rummaging around for my styrofoam container of leftover cheesesteak egg rolls from the bar

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Secret Base @secretbase.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

it's not hard to imagine a world in which the Milwaukee Bucks won another title or held onto Giannis Antetokounmpo forever. so how did we end up here instead? COLLAPSE is back: www.patreon.com/SecretBase/p...

patreon.com

How the Bucks lost hope, then lost Giannis | Secret Base

How the Bucks lost hope, then lost Giannis by Secret Base on Patreon. Join Secret Base's community for exclusive content and updates.

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 24/12/2025

Jesus, can you hear me? Good, the comms are working. Now, you're gonna need to run if you want to evade those Roman soldiers. Hold down A to sprint. Go ahead and try it. ... Good work! You just might be the savior yet. Now pick up that AR-15 and let's do some target practice.

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

uhh i was digitizing a box of old VHS tapes for my uncle... you guys ever hear of something called "The Mayonnaise Channel"??

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DBJ @deadblossomjesse.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Please consider following gok here, on youtube, on Instagram and everywhere while this hopefully gets sorted. They are the best. And I'll talk about this on stream, I have a lot to say about twitch Moderation and what the platform deems acceptable.

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

This is Taylor Lorenz’s every day but for real. So maybe keep the jokes to yourself!!!

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

One quick safety tip as we get deeper into Ren Faire season: yelling “Hey look it’s Brennan Lee Mulligan!” is the equivalent of yelling “fire” in a crowded theater and will get you kicked out and permanently banned

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

sure, it's a nazi website with an AI child porn generator that is owned by the world's richest man who did a sieg heil at the president's inauguration, but at least they got the quibi guy

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DBJ @deadblossomjesse.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

"We messed up 🥺👉👈" this is how stupid they think you are lol. I actually think if you steal 131 million dollars from people making poverty wages, you shouldn't be allowed to be a company anymore!

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

lots of people are saying that the racism app with the child porn generator owned by the world's richest man is better than it's ever been actually

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

this is the kind conversation you overhear at a coffee shop and you and your partner make that "are you hearing these assholes?" face

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I think we need more small, dense, local hardware stores filled with tons of little useful shit and shelves made out of 2x4. I need a wizened old man who knows exactly which hex bit I need and a 3-way convo with a stranger about paint types. Steal the Home Depot theme and give it to Brett’s Hardware

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Well, looks like the cat’s out of the bag, so I can confirm: look out for the next big Secret Base project in 2027, “Footballs”

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Live your life in a way that doesn’t get you murdered and put in an AI prompt where you’re chattin it up with Hitler and Bin Laden in heaven

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Billy Domineau 🇵🇸 @billydomineau.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

9/11 is a great day to reread my viral Seinfeld spec and to remember I’m one of the most talented TV writers available to write for your show. I have $225k in student loans and my family is about to pay OOP for my dad’s post-stroke rehab, so you’d better believe I’m gonna give you my best!

avclub.com

Read This: A darkly comedic Seinfeld spec script set days after 9/11

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Mike Reiss, one of the producers for The Simpsons, came to speak at my university circa 08. Someone asked him how Simpsons folks felt about the rise of Family Guy. He told this MacFarlane story, then said “so, God likes the Simpsons, but he must REALLY like Family Guy. Who am I to argue with that?”

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

i think this was my actual introduction to The Onion (and if it wasn't, it had not been long) and it's no exaggeration to say this issue fully re-wired my brain. this made me want to write comedy

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

That… doesn’t look like college football

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

You know, between this, the “Paterno Family Room” and oh right the last 15 years of generally behavior, I almost might just think my alma mater is up to no good

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Every Twitter brand account is run by an intern lol - which is why I bought the whole network for $44 billion

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

tech companies aren't just gobbling up hardware for AI -- they want to make the very act of using any kind of computer something they can charge hourly for you to do remotely

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

It’s so funny to me they set Kawhi Leonard up for an endorsement deal with Daktronics. They make arena LED boards. Whats that deal like? Cardboard cutouts of him at their NAB booth? Foam stressballs that say “‘Once you go Dak, you never go back!’ - Kawhi”

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

HBO just released a new trailer for counting to 100. I know I'm supposed to have outgrown it, but it feels so magical to see all my old friends again: 7, 20, 5, and this time they even managed to include 22.

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

walking out of my FBI interview, knowing i've outsmarted them all

Slack sidebar that says "Later, Agents & Tools"

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Where my ‘Eddie (1996)’ heads at???????

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Seth Rosenthal @sethrosenthal.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Rick Fox, Mark Jackson, Malik Sealy, Greg Ostertag, Dwayne Schintzius, and John Salley -- all active players -- portray Knicks in this movie. Are there any other movies where active pro athletes play members of other teams? I am hard-pressed to think of one

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Hello! Today is: Saturday, August 29th. Your Ill Portent of the Day is: had a stress dream about getting cancelled from posting

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Hello! Today is: Saturday, August 29th. Your Ill Portent of the Day is: had a stress dream about getting cancelled from posting

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

This is Video Making Excellence

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 15/12/2025

the air is practically crackling with anticipation and possibility right now. Like right before a time jump in Terminator

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Now this right here is a Post™️

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Just saw a Dolly post that included "wonder what awful thing Trump is gonna say" and jesus fuckin christ we gotta mourn one of the very best americans ever without worrying what the worst one ever is gonna say before he even says it

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The Recent Current Playlist @recentplaylist.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

"I Will Always Love You" by Dolly Parton Album: "Jolene" Time: 1:21 pm

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Don’t stop fantasizing about grabbing a cop’s gun, you should never stop doing that. All I’m saying is it’s okay to broaden your horizons — for instance, what if you took the dermatologist’s cryogun?

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Seth Rosenthal @sethrosenthal.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

oh my god someone in the secret base patreon found the old flash game Shaq's Crunchy Dunks. i have been trying to track this down for decades ooooooooo.ooo?id=db047cac-...

ooooooooo.ooo

Shaq's Crunchy Dunks

Shaq's Crunchy Dunks on 9o3o.

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Putting Pete Weber in the AI machine over and over until he becomes a grotesque mixture of platitudes, word salad and body parts, an ever-expanding body horror like the end of Akira

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tweb.bsky.social @tweb.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

You should be blindfolded and flown to an unknown location in the hold of a 737max. You should arrive at the criterion closet dehydrated and disorientated. Then we'll see your true comfort films.

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Sometimes in the Criterion Closet you can tell they’ve sent a list ahead of time because the movies they pull are set out on the shelf just a little bit and that is CHEATING. If you step into the Closet you must be prepared for Serendipity to take hold. Anything less is cowardice

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

[pushing a button on my desk that is not connected to anything and speaking to no one]: janice, hold my calls youtu.be/o4I-Y8XiBIs?...

youtu.be

'Weird Al' Yankovic: Tiny Desk Concert

YouTube video by NPR Music

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

thinking about how I was 7 and my mom convinced my brother and i to eat our broccoli because she said it's not broccoli it's "herbs and spices". and we bought that shit for a solid year

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Ryan @ryansimmons.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Laughing thinking about the Mayor Adams version of this. “Wearing a helmet superheats your brain and makes you see ghosts. Watch out for those ghosts New York!”

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