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🔞 Doodler

@phantomdoodler.bsky.social
186 followers 78 following 2.9K posts

30-something demi chick who draws dicks. No wank, just wanking. Also known as p_doodler and p_lewdler 日本語を鍛えたいから、会話練習させてくれ Magyarul is probálok tanulni.

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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I need to do EXERCISES so my body stops HURTING but I want to draw BOOBS
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
creacher (one who creaches)
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Darkivist @thedarkivist.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
#thedarkivistwrites I still yearn for this AU...
Travelling was always less daunting in the company of a friend, that much Dorothea discovered early on. Neither she nor Sylvain had an aim in mind, other than "away" or - in moments of unbridled ambition - "to safety", and so it made sense that they continued together. 

The company of a friend. What a joke. This Sylvain was almost a stranger to her. 

Dorothea cast a surreptitious glance over her shoulder. With the world the way it was those days, it seemed gauche to ask what had happened to him, but that didn't mean curiosity didn't gnaw at her. She called it curiosity, because it was kinder than calling it by its true name. 

Fear. 

"How's your leg?" she asked. 

Sylvain finally managed to coax a few sparks into a proper campfire, and pump his fist. Or. Whatever to call that appendage, taken over by the Lance of Ruin. In the firelight, the Crest stone gleamed like freshly spilt blood. 

"I've had worse," he said flippantly, raising his arm once more. "It's not like this thing will let me die." 

"That's no way to talk," she retorted, sharper than she meant to. She took a deep breath and quietly counted to ten. "Other people have to fight to survive, you know."

"I've always been a lucky bastard," Sylvain said grimly, watching the flames.
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
This dictionary tries to do machine translation if it doesn't have an entry for a word or phrase, but for some reason it now has a 50% chance of translating any unrecognized word as "squirting"
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Darkivist @thedarkivist.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
#ferdibert - 37,087 words - 8 chapters - fairytale horror AU - what if the hole Byleth made to get out of Zahras started affecting reality, would that be messed up or what archiveofourown.org/works/486597...
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Darkivist @thedarkivist.bsky.social · 26/11/2024
#ferdibert - 4885 words, explicit archiveofourown.org/works/43942252
All that glossy, unruffled nobility amounted to nothing more than a coat of varnish and Hubert wanted to file it off with his bloody, hateful hands, Wanted to see it crack and crumble and flake. Needed to be the one to peel it off.

His nails dug into skin, so warm, so soft, so inviting, until the body pressed against his stilled, if only for a single breathless moment. The hands gripping the front of his uniform jacket pulled him closer, as though mere proximity could bring them the relief they chased.

Relief, not pleasure.

Ferdinand just became so much more compliant with his cravat at his feet, his jacket half hanging off his elbows, and his shirt untucked from his trousers so it wouldn’t be in the way. Yet, in that position, trapped between a wall and Hubert’s taller frame he wasn’t satisfied, trying to yank the older student down as though to kiss him.
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
let's have poor circulation together
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ribbon @ribbonroad.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
wish i could find that penguindrum post like "the incest you thought was incest wasnt incest and the incest you didnt think was incest was incest"
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Darkivist @thedarkivist.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Edelgard in the ferbies cuck chair because knowing all their interpersonal drama she just needs to know how good that dick can possibly be
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I love it when characters use sex as self-harm
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Owen K.C. Stephens (He/Him) @owenkcstephens.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
3571942968
🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I miss believing I had potential
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
it might be all the customers using a/i lately, but this has got me all emotional
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
they should make resting that's not just as stressful as not resting
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
LA ROUX IS BACK? 😭😭😭
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
hey everybody I need life to pause so I can get caught up so can you just kind of stop moving for a few weeks? thanks
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rex @stergeon.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
feh isn’t ready for the “harvest jewels” banner
ferdinand and hubert fe3h feh drawn in a squash and corncob suit respectively. the corncob is the “art is hard” corn man and the squash is some squashtume from google images
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Hubert's cuck chair @hillayseventeen.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
hm
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
tsundere rights
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
and now we use them for tabletop games
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Memento (artemis) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
i am so sick of unrealistic labor expectations for nurses
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August J. Pollak @augustjpollak.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
There's never talk about "fairness" when some schools have fencing teams and pools and computer labs and some schools hold classes in trailers. Never about how 1 in 9 schoolchildren live in poverty. But it's always a "fairness" issue when a school has a trans athlete or too many black students.
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
throwback to ferdibert magic tentacles
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Lee Cronin’s Pablo Hidalgo @infinata.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Dogpiling is terrible. Dogs should be stored horizontally, on shelved pallets if you don’t have the floor space.
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
all the "how to recognize a/i writing" trends are extra weird when the thing that tends to stand out the most to me is the repitition and inconsistency that is completely different from how human communication is repetitive and inconsistent
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
unfortunately, I think the only other yet-to-be-shared doodle I have is cursed jester dancer hubert
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
I've always wanted to do a little art relay! Please accept more lady ferdibert. Sketch by @catstongue.bsky.social Lines by @yahaboot.bsky.social And color by yours truly!
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
At the "making slight changes to old doodles I never uploaded" stage of burnout
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aino @limitlessgeto.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
oomfp = one of my fellow perverts
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Darkivist @thedarkivist.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
This only took me half of forever. Well, I think that once they grow closer, Ferdinand will be quite sympathetic. In the Academy, he'll probably feel the sudden urge to take up the trumpet.
Manuela held back her I told you so-s, but only because the young general was in no shape to process them. While one of the orderlies took away the bucket Hubert had been clinging to minutes earlier, Manuela drew the privacy curtain around the bed closed, pulled up a chair, and took Hubert's hand, sending in pulses of weak healing magic. The hand in her own was cold and clammy. Manuela ran her thumb over the swollen joints, watching for any signs of another attack. 

The door to the infirmary flew open. She got up, lips pursed. Whoever thought it wise to disturb when she was seeing to a patient would get a piece of her mind. 

Or not. 

"Edelgard?" Her eyes widened. "Ferdinand? What are you two doing here?"

Those words were mainly aimed at Her Majesty, considering that Ferdinand didn't look like he knew either. He had to come straight from the training grounds - he was uncharacteristically dishevelled, a towel slung around his shoulders. 

"Hubert collapsed, hasn't he?" Edelgard's face was unreadable, a lake frozen over. "I was told healing from someone whose magic he's already accustomed to is more efficient." 

Manuela raised an eyebrow. Ferdinand averted his eyes, tell-tale pink tinting his ears. "Well- when there was a smaller scrape or headache, I would assist... naturally!"

She rested her hands on her hips and tossed her head in the direction of the curtain. "All yours." She shot Edelgard a smile. "I'll keep an eye on him, of course. The only thing that should worry you is how hellbent Hubert seems to be on his self-destruction." 

Edelgard pinched the bridge of her nose. "Trust me, I know."Atop the blanket, Hubert's fingers twitched. The smell of vinegar and herbs hit his nose before he fully regained consciousness. The infirmary, then. He nuzzled the pillow, only to find that the pillow was, in fact, not a pillow. He sat up and then winced, the movement too abrupt for his pounding head. 

"Fear not, it is only me," came a voice from what he mistook to be a pillow. Ferdinand sat up and wrapped a steadying arm around his waist. Only him. Only? As if such a thing were possible. 

Hubert suddenly grew all too aware of the unpleasant taste lingering in his mouth, the sweat-slick hair sticking to his face and he harboured no illusions about the state of his complexion either. 

"Manuela said you can be moved into your own bed once you wake up," Ferdinand continued, rubbing Hubert's back. Calloused hand left trails of tingling faith magic in its wake, warm and familiar like the first cup of coffee on a chilly morning. "Do you feel up to it? I could carry you, if you would prefer."

All he wanted was to crawl under the covers and stay there until he devised a reliable memory-altering spell. Looking for his gloves, looking for his tome, looking anywhere but at him, Hubert grumbled: "I suppose you've proposed worse plans."
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
I'm so tired of portfolio advice that's like "here's how to choose from everything you've made" Bitch, the problem is idk what the fuck I should be making in the first place
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
I have got to draw more edging
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Darkivist @thedarkivist.bsky.social · 07/07/2025
Hubert, offering to give Ferdinand a massage after a rough day as an excuse to feel him up. Ferdinand, accepting as an excuse to have his hands on him. They're not in a relationship. They both think they're playing each other and having a lovely time. Thighs? KNEADED. Brain? EMPTY.
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
new personal best playoutlier.com/s/BC33R9
playoutlier.com
OUTLIER · Day 102
doodler scored 887 on Day 102. Can you beat them?
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Tough one today! You've been challenged to OUTLIER, the daily word game sweeping the globe where the rarest words score the most points. I scored 840 today. Find the words I missed and beat me. playoutlier.com/c/xgms46
playoutlier.com
doodler challenged you
doodler wants you to beat their OUTLIER score on Day 100. Play the daily rare-word puzzle and climb the worldwide leaderboard.
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
no one wants gendered bathrooms when they need the code to get in and I only remember one of them
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I've been thinking about taking some time to play through the PS2 or PS1 games I never finished when they were new. (Well, I spent the most time with my Gamecube, but I didn't bring my Wii when I moved out)
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ribbon @ribbonroad.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
who up trundling their orbs
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I wish I had stuff I actually wanted to make as An Artist™️ but I really just....don't do my emotional processing through drawing? It's always been more narrative and communication than self-expression for me. Which I guess might explain why I've never really had interest in doing fine arts
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I wish cabaret seemed like something I'd actually enjoy doing
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Darkivist @thedarkivist.bsky.social · 11/06/2025
Ferdie yelps and quickly pulls her bodice up, blush spreading down her neck. "Hubert! What if someone chances upon us?" 

He draws her to his lap, nearly purring in her ear: "Where was that discretion at the last ball?" He runs a hand up her skirt, as if to remind her. As if she needs the reminder. He had to keep one hand over her mouth [censored] only a few steps away from the ballroom, [censored]. "No one ever comes here."

She's quiet for a moment.

"No one?" Less of a question and more of a choked little murmur.

"No one," he assures her before pressing a kiss to her nape.
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
what boobs should I do this year?
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I still hate CSP so much, I miss Photoshop where I could have done this already instead of trying to look up things for half an hour :')
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
#FerdibertWeek2026 Color is not my comfort zone, but @thedarkivist.bsky.social's drippy, moody prose was beggig for a dramatic color palette....much like Hubert is begging 🥰 I hope I could do it justice!
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Darkivist @thedarkivist.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
#FerdibertWeek2026 Ferdibert, now with monsterloving! archiveofourown.org/works/86004246
It was an accident, Hubert didn't say. Because they both knew that. Because it would change nothing. Because no words fit around the twist in his heart. Because, frankly, his brain was not in charge at the moment. Instead, he loosened his grip on Ferdinand's hair to stroke his cheek. "Consider me contrite."
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
PPWR is reeeeally fucking shit up for my customers 🙃 If you want to curb imports, then curb imports. Stop burying the actual policy under 500 layers of hoops that aren't actually possible to jump through
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
WHY IS EVERYONE DECENT BORN THE SAME YEAR DYING FIRST
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
I haven't been drawing enough, but so far I've put over 100 hours into physical therapy exercises this year :')
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna crack 900 one day You've been challenged to OUTLIER — the daily word game sweeping the globe where the rarest words score the most points. I scored 881 today. Find the words I missed and beat me. playoutlier.com/c/tjb8ng
playoutlier.com
doodler challenged you
doodler wants you to beat their OUTLIER score on Day 97. Play the daily rare-word puzzle and climb the worldwide leaderboard.
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🔞 Doodler @phantomdoodler.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
I love it when a character gets everything they've been saying they want and it makes them miserable
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