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Pete Roman

@peteroman.bsky.social
93 followers 108 following 442 posts

Retired lawyer whose best job ever was in the recreation department of a mental institution. I like to write jokes. Warning: Occasional puns.

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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
Is that when she had all the smashed eggs in her pants?
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
The ones in Camden Yards seem to under perform.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
They are exciting to see.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Pro tip: filling underwear is more fun.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Trump is seriously mentally ill.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
Two days ago I put buttermilk on my cereal by mistake. Didn't realize it until I tasted it.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
I told my wife this morning -- Happy Mothers' Day to all concerned, especially to those who made it possible, the kids, as well as the motherf-----s.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
They sell envelopes at Staples? I thought they just sold staples, a reason I've never been in one of the stores.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
How Ancient Centipede Ancestors Conquered the Earth www.nytimes.com/2026/05/05/s... And now we know the ancestors of today's political elite.
nytimes.com
How Ancient Centipede Ancestors Conquered the Earth
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
Jeez, that hurt my eyeballs, and what's left of my soul.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
I'm qualified to apply for the offer, and I admit I am enjoying retirement, but I would not serve under this DOJ if I was starving to death.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
But how am I going to drag my boss into my house and give him a shower?
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
I loved the parts about the assassination fakery. I think this video would have much more appeal to indie voters who had serious problems with Biden's dementia and being lied to about it. Many votes were lost over Biden and Harris' support for Israel amid the growing recognition of genocide.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
Have you ever written about how press coverage of supremacist violence, repugnant as it was, pushed many people to support the civil rights movement? As a child I remember being shocked by Bull Connors' actions. Compare: after Vietnam the US avoided imperialist wars for a time.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
hahaha I once had proclivity changed to proctitis.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Yes. And the fuckery is added to every damn day.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
my cats often get the same cards
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Look at those pectoral muscles!
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Just yesterday I ate 24 ounces of food and water, yet gained two pounds. Happens quite a bit. I'm a magic man. There's magic all around. Good looking women can make a naive man's wallet get thinner in one night. Accountants can make a profitable firm look bankrupt to the IRS.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
And a proposed 1.5 trillion military budget that does not include payments for the current war of humiliation.
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Reposted by Pete Roman
Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
A $400 million dollar ballroom? A billion dollar a day war of choice. Tens of millions on golf trips. $60 million dollar birthday parade. Disbanding the Forest Service A billion $ to STOP building wind farms (may be 2bil.) And these monsters want to take money away from poor, disabled people.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
It's a nice anthem, unlike the US one.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Trump's image to appear on limited-edition passports for America's 250th abcnews.com/Politics/tru... [Jeebus, what an ugly visage to bestow upon the world. Is this some insider's idea of a joke? This is the best picture they could come up with?]
abcnews.com
Trump's image to appear on limited-edition passports for America's 250th
The State Department is releasing a limited-edition U.S. passport to mark America's 250th anniversary and the document will feature President Donald Trump's image.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
I was thinking that Zuckerberg's Meta AI should acquire fiber-enhancer Metamucil, and create a new division, Meta Mucil AI. It will help people with brain farts.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
We eat at a table in our kitchen that borders on our now-flowering azaleas. The bees are having a great time darting amongst the flower petals.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
The US Mint buys some gold that originates in a Colombian drug cartel mine and other dubious places. Even Trump’s 24-karat gold coin may come from illegal gold. Explore this gift article from The New York Times. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/26/w...
nytimes.com
U.S. Mint Buys Drug Cartel Gold and Sells It as ‘American’
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Reposted by Pete Roman
Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
How do you handle a fly infestation? Send in a swat team.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
President: "I will not put beets on the ground in the Middle East. We may send some Navy bloats, however, you know, those big things."
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
Slept in a Grateful Dead shirt and woke up 40 years later to find my kids had grown, Jerry was dead, and pot was now legal.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
You can substitute just about any country's flag for the Canadian flag.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
From the BBC: The insider trading suspicions looming over Trump's presidency bbc.com/news/article...
bbc.com
The insider trading suspicions looming over Trump's presidency
The BBC has found a pattern of spikes in trades ahead of public announcements by the US president.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
The insider trading suspicions looming over Trump's presidency bbc.com/news/article...
bbc.com
The insider trading suspicions looming over Trump's presidency
The BBC has found a pattern of spikes in trades ahead of public announcements by the US president.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
The unnecessary capitals get me.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
He fits several mental illness profiles.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
FBI Launched Probe of New York Times Reporter Following Unflattering Coverage of Kash Patel www.democracynow.org/2026/4/23/he... via @democracynow
democracynow.org
FBI Launched Probe of New York Times Reporter Following Unflattering Coverage of Kash Patel
The FBI launched an investigation last month into New York Times reporter Elizabeth Williamson after she published a story revealing that FBI Director Kash Patel had assigned federal agents to provide...
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
Trump fits a variety of mental illness profiles.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
I grew up in a town with two barbers, Max or Joe. I always went to Max (his shop had comics). I asked my dad about going to Joe. He said: "Joe has a contract to cut hair at the hospital for the criminally insane. He cuts everybody the same so you'll look like that." I went to Joe. My dad was right.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
I heard the F word at 5-6 from my brother's best friend David, who told me to ask my dad what it meant. I reported: "David said I should ask you what the word f- means." Dad said nothing & marched out the door. I still didn't know what it meant but was pleased that David was going to get in trouble.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
I'd do it but I fear it might get caught in the chainsaw when I'm felling large trees up here in the Oregon forest.
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Reposted by Pete Roman
Michelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
My Therapist: "What animal best describes you?" Me: "A gazelle...an old one...with arthritis...hit by a jeep...ten days ago.
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Reposted by Pete Roman
Reverie @augustreverie.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
It’s so dumb that end-of-the-world anxiety didn’t cure me of all the other anxieties
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
I feel for you. I am a prostate cancer survivor and they give you testosterone suppressant for 2-3 years, and by golly you get hot flashes. I was turning the thermostat up and down and my wife said - "you're just having hot flashes." But your comment is funny.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
Yes.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
Also>>Trump Admin Hands Mega-Deal to Company Backed by Jared Kushner’s War-Profiteer Brother www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump... @radleybalko.bsky.social
thedailybeast.com
Trump Admin Hands Mega-Deal to Company Backed by Jared Kushner’s War-Profiteer Brother
Joshua Kushner looks set to cash in on Trump’s wars even as the president leans on Kushner’s brother, who’s married to Trump’s daughter, to help end them.
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
belly laugh thanks
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
Fox News’ Sean Hannity Explains Why "As of Today" He Has Left the Catholic Church. He's angry at the Pope's anti-war statements. www.thedailybeast.com/ex-catholic-... There's a problem with his story. He said he left the church in 2019 too. www.christianpost.com/news/sean-ha...
yahoo.com
Fox News’ Sean Hannity Explains Why He Left the Catholic Church After ‘Institutionalized Corruption’
Fox News host Sean Hannity is explaining his decision to leave the Catholic church long before President Donald Trump criticized Pope Leo XIV. “As of today, I no longer consider myself a Catholic. I a...
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Pete Roman @peteroman.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
Soap made from the oily skin of two voice actors - Rub a dub dub.
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