Sign in

Paul Lander

@paullander.bsky.social
63K followers 34K following 9.6K posts

TV/comedy writer/Producer, award-winning columnist. His humor pieces have appeared in MAD, American Bystander, Weekly Humorist, McSweeneys, Humor Times, etc.

PostsRepliesMedia
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 8h
WHO issues Russian plague statement. Personally I’m waiting to hear from Zeplin
150
Reposted by Paul Lander
#BlueStormComin1🌪️🦋🇺🇸 #Resistance 🦋🙌🏻 #Blues @bluestormcomin1.bsky.social · 9h
#Blues @lacerantplainer.bsky.social @paullander.bsky.social @aebug.bsky.social @soldiergirl.bsky.social @cocogilmartin.bsky.social @wrennreed.bsky.social @verbalprimate.com @badwebsites.bsky.social @mace-duggan.bsky.social @crankyoldcrackpot.bsky.social @bluestormcomin1.bsky.social @raykwong.lol
static.klipy.com
ALT:
4129
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 9h
Next time. In the meantime AI. Our secret.
000
Reposted by Paul Lander
Mindcite💥 @mindcite.bsky.social · 10h
Republicans DeSantis, Rubio and Rick Scott are too busy demonizing DEI and CRT and woke to say one word about Nazis in Florida.
21411
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 11h
The world’s most stunning collection of onyx chess pieces. Did you get to the arch for a photo?
110
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 11h
Archaeologists find Nazi time capsule No word if it contained Trump's first set of tax returns.
031
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 16h
Hegseth is now more like Secretary of War Crimes!
094
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Pennsylvania has largest Measles outbreak since 1991. The Steelers are safe everybody on that team has trouble catching anything.
1629536
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 16h
Hegseth is now more like Secretary of War Crimes!
094
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 19h
MAHA Himalayan Testosterone booster is sometimes full of feces. As opposed to RFK Jr who is always full of….
152
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 19h
MAHA Himalayan Testosterone booster is sometimes full of feces. As opposed to RFK Jr who is always full of….
152
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 21h
💙
010
Reposted by Paul Lander
Kinley 🦋 Brenda @bluthrunthru.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Spent the day in Bryce Canyon, UT. All I can say is WOW!!!💫✨ Pics don’t do it justice! Pics…tall thin colored rock called Hoodoos, Thors Hammer, Inspiration Point, 1.3 mile hike down Navajo Loop in Canyon, 1.7 miles back up at Sunset Point!🌅 #BlueCrew #BreakfastCrew
11235153
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 21h
💙
000
Reposted by Paul Lander
💫Foxy💫 @getyourfoxyback.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Its National 🌮Taco 🌮 Day 🦊 Meet and Greet 🦊 The modern word "taco" is believed to have started in the silver mines of Mexico. Miners used charges of gunpowder wrapped in paper, which they called "tacos." Their tortillas wrapped around a spicy filling looked like these sticks, and the name stuck.
1882 First World Series Baseball Game 1: Cincinnati Red Stockings (AA) beat Chicago White Stockings (NL) 4-0 at Bank Street Grounds, Cincinnati
1939 WWII: Adolf Hitler speech at the Reichstag celebrates the defeat of Poland, offers peace to France and England, and mentions need for "settlement of the Jewish problem
1945 Tavern owner "Billy Goat" Sianis buys a seat for his goat for Game 4 of the Baseball World Series, is escorted out, and casts a goat curse on the Chicago Cubs
1956 Scientist Albert Sabin announces that his oral polio vaccine is ready for testing; it soon replaces Jonas Salk's vaccine in many parts of the world
1961 John F. Kennedy advises Americans to build fallout shelters
1978 Iraq declares Ayatollah Khomeinian undesirable person
1979 Pope John Paul Il is the first pope to visit the White House, meeting with President Jimmy Carter in Washington, D.C.
1996 Bob Dole and President Bill Clinton meet in their first debate
2018 Brett Kavanaugh is confirmed and sworn in to the US Supreme Court amid protests and following an FBI investigation
2021 Los Angeles votes in some of the strictest COVID-19 vaccine mandates in the country, requiring vaccinations before people can enter indoor businesses and events
2023 American Simone Biles wins all-around gold at the World Championships in Antwerp, Belgium, becoming the most decorated gymnast with 34 World and Olympic medals
2023 New research confirms fossil footprints 23,000-21,000 years old at White Sands National Park, New Mexico, as probably the oldest evidence of humans in the Americas
8922470
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
US pulls Stealth bombers from key UK base after suspected Iran-linked terror plot. Or maybe they didn't...
071
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 22h
💙
010
Reposted by Paul Lander
#BlueStormComin1🌪️🦋🇺🇸 #Resistance 🦋🙌🏻 #Blues @bluestormcomin1.bsky.social · 23h
Good morning and Happy #TacoTuesday 🌮🍺👋 There will be parties tonight so join us! If you are a follower of mine and want your account boosted leave a 👋 or comment. Have an awesome day everyone and I may his days be few. 🤞 Repost #Blues #BlueStormConnects #BSC1 #NeverTrump
74274118
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
New Not Coming this Fall vid drop from Pretty Damn Sketchy YouTube channel. Hurry! You’re gonna want seconds. youtube.com/shorts/0qWuQ...
youtube.com
Not Coming This Fall: Woodstock Tastes Like Chicken! A Very Special Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
YouTube video by Pretty Damn Sketchy
13920
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Pennsylvania has largest Measles outbreak since 1991. The Steelers are safe everybody on that team has trouble catching anything.
1629536
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Extra! Extra! Latest Ripping the Headlines Today - Paul Lander - @subs.humortimes.com www.humortimes.com/424640/rippi...
humortimes.com
Ripping the Headlines Today - Paul Lander, Humor Times
Making fun of headlines, like: "Has Russia begun to order assassinations on US soil?" - Quick, someone hide Moose and Squirrel!
155
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Box Office: ‘Digger’ Majorly Bombs With $8 Million Opening Weekend. They say Tom Cruise is unrecognizable… turns out a positive for Tom
041
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Box Office: ‘Digger’ Majorly Bombs With $8 Million Opening Weekend. They say Tom Cruise is unrecognizable… turns out a positive for Tom
041
Reposted by Paul Lander
Humor Times @subs.humortimes.com · 05/10/2026
Ripping the Headlines Today, 10/5/26 - #humor #satire #funny #news
humortimes.com
Ripping the Headlines Today, 10/5/26
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about the safety of ‘Moose and Squirrel,’ doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release…
011
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Extra! Extra! Latest Ripping the Headlines Today - Paul Lander - @subs.humortimes.com www.humortimes.com/424640/rippi...
humortimes.com
Ripping the Headlines Today - Paul Lander, Humor Times
Making fun of headlines, like: "Has Russia begun to order assassinations on US soil?" - Quick, someone hide Moose and Squirrel!
155
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Thank ya Humor Outcasts, @dtcav.bsky.social by me and @cartoonydan.bsky.social humoroutcasts.com/2026/cartoon...
humoroutcasts.com
Cartoon: Mission Accomplished
Written by: Paul Lander Artist: Dan McConnell
022
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Thank ya Humor Outcasts, @dtcav.bsky.social by me and @cartoonydan.bsky.social humoroutcasts.com/2026/cartoon...
humoroutcasts.com
Cartoon: Mission Accomplished
Written by: Paul Lander Artist: Dan McConnell
022
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Cuff ‘em
020
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
All new Karmic Kick in the Nuts Award just dropped on Pretty Damn Sketchy YouTube Channel. View, like, subscribe then be a Prince and ‘party like it's 1999’ youtube.com/shorts/etQHK...
youtube.com
Karmic Kick in the Nuts Award: People Talking on Their Cell Phones in Public
YouTube video by Pretty Damn Sketchy
02014
Reposted by Paul Lander
The American Bystander @americanbystander.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Foldable Iphone Makes Phone Bigger Somehow
021
Reposted by Paul Lander
Light @lightpoetrymag.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Who's ready to rebel against high tech (after reading this poem on their phone)? *Click link in thread for all 8 Poems of the Week, on fat bears, bear hugs & more* lightpoetrymagazine.com/poems-of-the... #AI #hightech #Luddites @paullander.bsky.social @americanbystander.bsky.social
lightpoetrymagazine.com
Sic Semper Tyrannis
by J.P. Celia “Tech Companies Can’t Stop an AI Apocalypse Alone”—Knowledge at Wharton “Put down your phone,” I firmly say.“There’s more to life. And youth. And play.Ride off on skateboard, stallion, s...
132
Reposted by Paul Lander
Dom DeCecco @phillyosopher.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Eric Schmitt: "On March 27, 2022, were you in Los Angeles attending the Academy Awards?" Jack Smith: "No. " Schmitt: "You're a liar and a dirt bag! Not only were you there, you assaulted beloved African-American comedian, Chris Rock." Jack Smith: [smiles] #EricSchmitt @politipod.bsky.social
043
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Agree.
000
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
US pulls Stealth bombers from key UK base after suspected Iran-linked terror plot. Or maybe they didn't...
071
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
If any of the Cornell Seven didn’t get into Penn, they may get another shot — this time in the state pen.
4275
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
💙
110
Reposted by Paul Lander
💫Foxy💫 @getyourfoxyback.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
It’s National Do Something Nice Day 🦊 Meet and Greet 🦊 Your Official Day to spread awesomeness is on October 5! Today is National Do Something Nice Day and we are dedicated to making the world a little brighter, one kind act at a time. We will be okay Love Foxy
1905 Orville and Wilbur Wright make a circling flight on "Flyer I!!" of 24.2 miles (38.9 km) in 39 minutes and 23 seconds
1916 Adolf Hitler is wounded in the left thigh by an exploding shell during the Battle of the Somme
1942 Budy Massacre at Auschwitz sub-camp, 90 French-Jewish women are beaten to death by prison guards
1945 "Meet the Press" premieres on radio
1947 Harry Truman delivers the first presidential address televised from the White House
1962 "Dr. No," the first James Bond film based on the novel by lan Fleming and starring Sean Connery and Ursula Andress, premieres in London
1973 Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, the 7th studio album by Elton John, is released
1992 US Congress votes to override George H. W. Bush's veto of a bill regulating cable TV companies, the first overturn of a Bush veto
2001 Robert Stevens becomes the first victim in the 2001 anthrax attacks
2015 Governor of California Jerry Brown signs a bill granting terminally ill patients the "right to die"
2018 US unemployment figures hit their lowest level since 1969 at 3.7%, according to the Department of Labor
2020 WHO estimates 10% of the world's population may have been infected with COVID-19, more than 20 times the number of confirmed cases
2021 Otis (bear 480), weighing more than 900 pounds, wins Alaska's Fat Bear Week for pre-hibernation weight gain for the fourth time
2023 Record 961 migrating birds die after hitting McCormick Place Lakeside Center building in Chicago during fall migration
116282108
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
💙
010
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Federal Judge Says Police Can't Use Flock Cameras To Go 'Snooping Through Our Personal Lives'. Thank God, I was beginning to feel way too much pressure to be more interesting.
2183
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Aaron Rodgers and Mike McCarthy exchanged F-bombs early in the Steelers’ loss to the Browns. Surprised. With all that ivermectin, you’d think Rodgers would be a little hoarse.
1153
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Mississippi coroner advises residents to shoot burglars In fairness, for him it is a good way to drum up business.
061
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Van Houton early statement has been proved wrong. Your post of what was said in title IX report. Turned out factually wrong. Misleading read on guys Title IX statement off. Duke, UVA misleading conclusions. If you’re their lawyer, they fry.
000
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Btw the initial text came from frat guy. You conveniently leave out full text. By the time we get to her statement she’s more consistent than the frat guys are.
100
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
So Cornell shut down the frat, expelled two people, heard a case wanting to remove from record. Denied. Your statement about two guys incomplete, misleading. Every state disagrees with you about illegal drug dealt agency. Ooopsie And your inference about UVA, Duke those are the outliers.
100
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Now do Vanderbilt, Baylor. And I could list countless more. So what. The two guys you cited did not claim they were attacked. In fact after she was pumped with Ketamine they had what they claim was consensual sex with her. Bad look. When you don’t have the facts deflect. Here’s your boys again.
100
Reposted by Paul Lander
ladyexec.bsky.social @ladyexec.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Happy #Caturday🐈‍⬛ 🐈 Night. Quincy loves his box. Yes, he’s curled up in there, covering his eyes, while fast asleep. #Cats #Tuxedo
0113
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
LOS ANGELES MAGAZINE: Malibu Records 100,000 Speeding Violations in 10 Days. Well it is home to the fast life.
051
Reposted by Paul Lander
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Shark Spotted Swimming Down Flooded New Jersey Street During Nor’easter. Why my agent was in New Jersey is whole other story.
071
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
You’re with these charmers. I’ll use my platform to expose rape apologists. You don’t like it. Stop apologizing or using my reach to insult my readers. So far, even if their statement is true it does not reach legal level of what she’s been claiming since initial campus police report.
230
Paul Lander @paullander.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
If any of the Cornell Seven didn’t get into Penn, they may get another shot — this time in the state pen.
4275