Making fun of headlines, like: "Has Russia begun to order assassinations on US soil?" - Quick, someone hide Moose and Squirrel!

Free tickets to see Have I Got News For You at CBS Studios in NYC. Be a part of the live audience.

Making fun of headlines, like: "Charmin sells 'Forever Roll,' lasts a month" - Dad joke alert: Word is, financially it will wipe you out.

Making fun of headlines, like: "Kimmel TV intv w/Talarico pulled, hits 5M views on YouTube" - In fairness, both come from large families.

Making fun of headlines, like: "Tennis star stops US Tennis Open due to marijuana stench" - Players only prepare for grass at Wimbledon.

Making fun of headlines, like: "Candace Cameron Bure recounts ‘demonic’ S&M party w/husband" - On Hallmark channel 666, the Devil Network…

Making fun of headlines, like: "Ed Sheeran faces battle over toilet" - Only throne he should be fined for is his cameo in Game of Thrones.

Making fun of headlines, like: "Liz Cho ordered to hand over private texts" - See her on ‘Who Wants to Make a Divorce Lawyer a Millionaire?’

Humor Columns -

Making fun of headlines, like: "'Odyssey' translator says she'd be 'ashamed to have written' script" - Frankly, it's all Greek to me.

Making fun of headlines, like: "'Odyssey' translator says she'd be 'ashamed to have written' script" - Frankly, it's all Greek to me.

YouTube video by Pretty Damn Sketchy

Making fun of headlines, like: "Yearly salary of FIFA President shocks World Cup fans" - Look for FIFA to get a ‘Running in the Red’ Card.

Making fun of headlines, like: "Tour De France rolls" - It's hard to tell which cyclists are doping and which are in the control group.

Making fun of headlines, like: "Taylor and Travis married at MSG" - If they wanted an intimate wedding, they would’ve had it at Freedom 250.

Making fun of headlines, like: "Buffalo Bills fans enraged by ticket costs at new stadium" - While the Mets will pay you to go to a game.

Making fun of headlines, like: "Movie theaters serving as wedding chapels" - Now holding ceremonies at 11:10, 2:35, 4:55, 7:05, 9:50.

Making fun of headlines, like: "NY Knicks are NBA Champs" - While the Wizards are already mathematically eliminated from 2027 championship.

Making fun of headlines, like: "Billy Bush supporting Spencer Pratt for LA Mayor" - Campaign song by "Josie & Grab 'em by The Pussycats."

Making fun of headlines, like: "FBI seizes 300 gold bars stashed in CIA officer home" … Would’ve been 301, but he just went out for gas.

Making fun of headlines, like: "Wisconsin driver drives into freshly poured concrete" - Just to have the ol' "stuck in traffic" excuse.

YouTube video by Pretty Damn Sketchy

Humor Columns - Making fun of headlines, like: "Bezos selling superyacht, 'unwanted attention'" - With Prime, he could return it in 30 days.

Making fun of headlines, like: "James Webb Telescope to uncover mysteries of dwarf planet" - I believe it prefers ‘Little People Planet.’

Making fun of headlines, like: "Batter up! MLB is back in full swing!"… And, the White Sox already are mathematically eliminated.