iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 4h

the collective idea that a ton of gamers have rn where they sincerely think that literally any other game that gets released alongside gta 6 is going to utterly fail *because of* gta 6 is making me feel like im in the fucking twilight zone

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 16h

i don't like it but in my heart i know measurehead has a fatter dong than me

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

me when somebody is really sad and scared about everything that's going on and how it feels like the world is ending, and i roll up to inform them that ackshually "the WORLD is gonna be totally fine without us"

A 4-panel comic of a dude with a huge dick on his head. He sticks it in his mouth and sucks it off to completion, losing a few teeth in the process

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

when do kittens usually get their grownup voices? i'm gonna be kind of sad when these two lose their little tinysquawks

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

i love my library card because the books i want to borrow are literally always like "6 copies, 3 holds on each copy" so i end up reading books i wouldn't have read if i had been able to immediately read what i wanted, and like 1 in 10 of them end up being pretty good

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

me: this podcast seems tolerable. lemme hear season 1, episode 1 every podcast app, for some fucking reason: didja like that? i'm gonna take a wild guess at what you wanna hear next me: uh the second epis- podcast apps: 🎉FINAL EPISOOOOODE 🎉

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

i can't believe kids get bamboozled by simon says. like maybe u would win if u weren't such a fuckin bootlicker little timmy . get good.

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Jessica Ellis @baddestmamajama.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

YOU SEE? IT IS POSSIBLE TO GIVE ACCURATE INFO ABOUT COVID WITHOUT EXPLODING!

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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Now that everyone has turned on Ed Sheeran I finally feel comfortable saying this: you shouldn’t be allowed to get a bunch of tattoos if you’re a musician who makes wuss music

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

does anybody know if instant espresso dissolves nicely in regular oat milk, or do i still gotta use the fancy oatly barista stuff if i don't want it to separate?

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

fuck werewolves man. fuckin midlife crisis dog

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

ME: (masturbating loudly on laptop) PRINCE HAMLET: (from curtain) O, stay, my blade. The cur is at his art. When wet he splats, I'll plunge thee through his heart.

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doctor eek (alt decorative ghost season) @absolutely-not.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

[looking over at iguana]: how u livin iguaua: me: you want my lemon wedge? iguana: me: here, have my lemon wedge iguana: [eats lemon wedge] me: we got liz lemon over here

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

feel like 35 was the specific age when i lost my entire ability, all at once, to deal with textiles that need to be babied. idc how soft it is. like delicate cycle/tumble dry low is fine but istg if it says i have to "gently stretch to reshape" or "hang to dry" it had better get its affairs in order

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

getting a really sad song stuck in your head is the emotional equivalent of heing trapped in a tiny room with somebody else's anxiety farts and that is why i endeavor to know as few sad songs as possible. i got enough problems of my own!!!

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

waiting for one of the kittens to come in the room so i can ask her if she thinks my elder scrolls online character looks enough like her

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

free idea: they should make another show exactly and i mean EXACTLY like the queen’s gambit but instead of chess it’s about connect four

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

there’s too many animals that are just a regular deer with some sort of dumb fucking thing on its head to avoid copyright infringement. it’s too many deer and too many shitty hood ornaments. we gotta extinct some of these things.

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

tricking the kittens into wasting their curtain-climbing energy on chasing the wand toy around

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

the instant espresso container is lying to you. the milk doesn’t have to be hot. it dissolves just fine in cold milk straight from the fridge. they are just trying to tell you how to live your life

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

it has just come to my attention that these kittens are gonna teethe?! on what?! i’m pretty sure i teethed on a cold washcloth soaked with water and a lil drop of jack daniels but i’m dead sure the kittens can’t do that and my parents shouldna done that!

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✨️Angel Facts✨️ @angelic.style · 24/08/2026

i dont think touching grass is enough i think ur heart has to be open to the grass seeing the way the wind billows through the grass feeling the warm sunlight feeding into the grass understand its role in the ecosystem you are inextricably a part of you have to love the grass

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

turns out the kittens watch tv. they both watch tv. i always wanted a tv cat. when it gets cold outside i bet they’re gonna doze on my lap while we watch all of the directors cut lotr movies. i cannot believe we got these things for FREE

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

that katmai bear with the wrecked up jaw sure gets in a lot of fights for a dude who is surrounded by bears with fully functioning jaws. like i don’t wanna tell him his business but i would tuck it back a little bit if i was him

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

THE LITTLE BRAVE ONE HOPPED UP ON THE COUCH AND TOOK A NAP NEXT TO ME I AM BESIDE MYSELF I AM VERKLEMPT RN

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

update: they frequently choose to be in the same room as us even though their food/water/tree/toys/litter box are elsewhere! they take treats from my hand i am now allowed to gently pet them, but ONLY while they are eating their wet food and only if i don’t get too enthusiastic about it

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

i’ve never raised feral kittens before and i gotta admit i was not prepared for the vast amount of difference between how much i would want the kittens to snuggle on the couch with me vs how much the kittens currently do not want to do that or anything remotely like it. this has been humbling !!

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

giant lady dominatrix holding ghost rider by the feet and putting him out in the ashtray like a big cigarette: ghost rider: ouggggghhhh

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

ghost rider, but he doesn’t really have any opps, so nobody tries to hang him, so he has to like go to the hardware store to get his chain whip

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

when does nicholas cage turn into a skeleton. i was led to understand that ghost rider was a skeleton. i came here to watch a skeleton.

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

idk exactly why this is true but i think 12 is the most insulting number of gold pieces to loot off a really difficult/annoying enemy in a video game

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

[something bad happens in a red state] a shocking number of ppl: well they voted for this so they deserve it you: [show them one of those charts that demonstrates how red wins no matter what bc gerrymandering] them: oh wow them, two days later: well they voted for this so they deserve it

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

like if an abled person wants an accommodation SO BAD that they’re willing to fake a disability to get it, i assume they probably need it. maybe not for the disability they claim to have. maybe not for a reason i’d understand, and maybe not even for a reason *they* totally understand. but still.

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 11/08/2026

I don’t use commas because I don’t want you to breathe

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

how come new cat trees always come outta the box smelling like they came from the house of somebody with like seven cats

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victoria scott @victoriascott.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

anyone ever notice that they try to wake up and handle the day that comes as gracefully as possible and then it's a hundred degrees and the ]state is on fire and every summer for the rest of your life will be like this and the only topic ever up for debate in your society is your personhood

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

what the Fuck am i gonna do with these !?

Two gray tabby kittens, about two months old, eating from one stainless steel food bowl in front of a shelf of books about math.

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

log on, see a bunch of ostensibly smart and decent people arguing with a no bio/no profile pic account, log off

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

sittin on the floor reading wendell berry poems to these two little feral bimbo kittens like a fucking sap. two-piece loser mcnuggets. fuck.

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

[voir dire] the state: tell me a few things about yourself that you’d want me to know if we met somewhere other than this. me: i… i would not want you to know anything about me, ma’am. [later on] the state: the state thanks and excuses juror pretty bird.

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The Emotion Engine @emotion-engine.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Isekai as a genre is exploding in popularity because it appeals to a universal desire to get hit by a truck rather than live in the 21st century.

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

[news anchor solemnly signing off the day lil jon dies] until next time, america. until all skeet skeet motherfucker; until all skeet skeet god damn

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

saw a video of two lions fuckin on top of a safari van while the safari people looked up thru the bars like “wow oh no”. imagine being a baby lion conceived on top of a safari van. imagine being that cool from such a young age

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

istg the refusal to sit with even a little bit of guilt, and to be moved by it instead of just yelling “stop being mean to me!!!” will be the death of us “we all need to stop consuming animals because it’s wrecking the earth” “why should i care about the earth when ppl are MAKING ME FEEL BAD?”

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

one of these days somebody is gonna google “i hate (whatever thing)” lookin for some commiseration and they will see the ai response up top that’s like “iT sOuNDs LiKe YoU’Re pReTTy FrUsTRaTEd” and that person is going to do an act of terrorism that i will not condone but WILL completely understand

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Luigi "The Adjuster" Mangione @kwh561.cryptoanarchy.network · 25/07/2026

it should be illegal to make a computer that's a dipshit

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Pretty Bird @ohmygodyael.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

feel like most people understand this wrt sex/STIs. but when you introduce the idea that none of our relationships (fam, friends, colleagues, etc) can ever be divorced from the reality of inhabiting bodies that have effects (+/-) on each other’s bodies, suddenly consent/autonomy is just too woke

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Sara Century @saracentury.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

I understand that it sucks to have to read a book you didn't choose as a kid but when people are like 40 and still going, "well assigned reading turned me off from reading" it's like, ok but you're 40. No one has assigned you a book in like 20 years.

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