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Jeff Abrazos

@nullpinter.bsky.social
1.2K followers 508 following 372 posts

Coder and fun haver. Expect a like from me if you’re succeeding, thriving, persisting, or just trying to do good

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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 31/08/2025
If you’re not a fireman or a professional baseball player and have a mustache, that’s just stolen valor
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 22/03/2025
I’d say my biggest weakness is thinking I can bring all of the grocery bags inside in one trip Interviewer: um, and do you have a second biggest weakness? Getting those little produce bags open
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Reposted by Jeff Abrazos
inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
jesus: *takes the wheel* the cheesemakers: sonofabitch
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
A kitchen gift that is hand wash only? In the year 2025? Are you insane?
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batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
"I'd pick your brains if the picking weren’t so slim,” says Zombie Oscar Wilde, but it’s just indistinct zombie moans to my ear.
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CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
My Phantom of the Opera mask origin story
A real cat grooming product that's a small tongue-shaped plastic thing that you put between your lips and use to "lick" your pet. It suggests you and the cat will enjoy this bonding experience. It is "Designed for kitty comfort".
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
[Ice Cube voice] No barking from the doggles, no smoggle, mama cooked a dinner with no gobble, even got a Walmart cart with no wobble
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 09/03/2025
They should let the guy who named the post hole digger name more stuff
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 01/03/2025
‘I did like 100 burpees today.’ Don’t you have any respect for yourself?
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 25/02/2025
Typoed ‘just like I planed it,’ in the family group chat and they hit me with ‘ok, Osama Bin Laden.’
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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 23/02/2025
Food critics are wild. Bro, why are you bullying spaghetti?
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
[when I hear Huey Lewis’ The Power of Love anywhere I go] This place has a real Back to the Future vibe going for it
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James @james.tarnation.lol · 21/02/2025
damn jonathan taylor thomas save some first names for the rest of us
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 18/02/2025
At least he’s working on something where he has relevant experience - dealing with Saudi Arabia.
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batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 17/02/2025
KRANGAROO
A cartoon pic of a kangaroo with kind of dead eyes and its arms held out like a zombie—instead of a pouch on its stomach, I put Kramer from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles like he’s piloting the kangaroo exterior the same way he does that person suit thing on TMNT
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 17/02/2025
[football coach who is also a shampoo salesman giving a halftime speech] It’s bad right now, like dirty hair, but that’s when we get in the goddamn shower and we LATHER. And what do we do after we lather? That’s right, we rinse! And after we rinse what do we do? That’s right we goddamn REPEAT!
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🎃HalloDeeny🎃 they/them @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 17/02/2025
Coworker: " hows thats coffee" Me *knowing full well its sunny D*: "good"
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 16/02/2025
The kids Jesus went to school with must have been ruthless with the yo mama jokes
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 16/02/2025
Unchecked free market capitalism is how we got salsa containers that won’t fit a tortilla chip
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 13/02/2025
I wish I loved anything as much as my grandfather loved driving out of state to save a dollar on gas
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 09/02/2025
Atlas Pop and Locked
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 07/02/2025
Good news: you just remembered what you forgot to do this morning Bad news: it was to put on deodorant
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 05/02/2025
Anyone got that video (of Mitch McConnell falling down the stairs)?
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 05/02/2025
Got kicked out of the grocery store when I put the shopping cart back I rammed it into the next shopping cart and moaned a little bit too loud
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 02/02/2025
What if Narcissus just thought he had something stuck in his teeth?
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 02/02/2025
For my daughter’s birthday she received a card from grandma 1. She said, ‘wow grandma 1 sent me $100.’ I said, ‘we need to call grandma 2 and-.’ Daughter, without missing a beat, ‘tell her to step it up.’
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 01/02/2025
A new person learning I am color blind, pointing at random items, and asking what color it is has entered the chat
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 30/01/2025
DEVIL: Welcome to Hell, where you shall burn for eternity ME: You should have called it The Insinerator...lol DEVIL: *texting God* You sonofabitch
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 31/01/2025
Scored Nine Inch Nails tickets so naturally as the kids get ready for bed I’m singing the kid friendly version, 🎶 I want to hug you like an animal
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
And when things were at their most dire, Butch Cassidy turned to the Sundance Kid and said, ‘Fuck it, we ball.’
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 26/01/2025
If I was a DJ I would just play the mixtape I made in the 90s. And it would bang.
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 24/01/2025
I’m sorry they were all out of apples but I bought us apple fritters
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 22/01/2025
If you can, go outside and play in the snow. There’s a chance you left twenty bucks in your winter jacket
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 22/01/2025
After many failed attempts it is clear that I have absolutely no idea how much water to put into a pot for boiling pasta
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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
Husband: Why do you love makeup so much? Me (eyeing all the ornate, multicolored pots of cotton candy scented sparkles, while petting my face with a beautiful soft brush): Because I like to look like a whore.
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
Petition to remake True Detective season one but Woody Harrelson is played by Woody Boyd from Cheers
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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
A weird talking lizard? that rears up on it's tiny back legs to tell jokes? stg, that's a stand up chameleon
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
[Youth pastor voice] You know who else knew your every move and the government wanted destroyed?
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
My wife when I leave the house
Jane Lynch meme reading I am going to create a thermostat that is so hot
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 18/01/2025
Just think, if we didn’t have a TH sound in the English language it would be pronounced Jason Stat Ham
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 18/01/2025
My biggest problem right this moment is I’d rather be overweight than let the leftover pizza win
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 18/01/2025
If you miss a slam dunk in basketball you should have to spend two minutes in a penalty box
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 18/01/2025
I’m not sneezing, YOU’RE sneezing
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
Bless me? Bless ME? No, bless YOU, pal!
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
At a college basketball game yelling at the players to make more responsible decisions
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 14/01/2025
More like Karen Underwood, am I right
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 14/01/2025
Your honor, the jury finds the defendant confident and sexy
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Jeff Abrazos @nullpinter.bsky.social · 14/01/2025
My sweet wife said, ‘hey I got you cookies because you were talking about cookies the other day.’ Which is nice except I was saying I ate the rest of the cookies so I’d stop snacking on cookies late at night
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Tamper Proof Lid @readuction.bsky.social · 13/01/2025
Explaining things in terms an iPad kid can understand: “They’re taking the coins you earned in candy crush. Okay? They’re taking those away from you. You’re not getting anything for them. Okay, and then you gotta keep playing it, right? But, now they’re gonna delete the app now. After taking the coi
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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 13/01/2025
When god closes a door, he opens a window because he doesn’t give a shit about your power bill.
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