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Nick 🐙

@nickoctopus.bsky.social
1.3K followers 853 following 11K posts

He/him, in the UK. NB & ND. I occasionally make EBM/industrial music as Trellick. I hate fascists & bigots. Trans rights are human rights. I will never log off.

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Rebecca McCarthy - Game Writing & Narrative🔜 MCM Comic Con @rebeccamwrites.bsky.social · 7h
Dressmaker is a masterpiece.
I made a Garfield Dress
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 6h
My manager apparently starts each day by asking Copilot how it's doing and how it feels about the day so basically: we are in hell
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 6h
We had a presentation on tips for using Copilot at work, and one of the tips was to always say please and thank you to it, but they couldn't explain why and dear god I'd never do that
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Adrian Chills @adrianchills.bsky.social · 13h
#87: Kiwifruit
A screenshot of a headline to a Guardian column by Adrian Chiles. It reads 'My latest discovery? You can eat the skin of a kiwifruit - and the benefits are myriad'

(Alt-text for next image)
I was carrying out maintenance on the hull when the ion drive exploded. The force of the blast sent me hurtling away from the body of the craft, where I could only watch helplessly as it ruptured and burst, section by section, expelling the rest of the crew into space. While I was kept anchored to a large segment of the living quarters by my tether, my crewmates -  my friends - went sailing on by me, already suffocated by the airless void, scattershot corpses heading for oblivion.
That was six months ago. My life since has been amongst the debris. With all long-range comms disabled or destroyed, I am adrift, lost. But not alone.
In the first weeks after my shipwrecking, I became aware of another creature living amidst the remnants. I don’t know its name or provenance, but I suspect it is some kind of space-borne parasite. My first glimpse of it came as I was scavenging in the lower decks. Turning a corner, I found the body of an engineer, splayed out on the floor, its chest pulsating, so at first I thought him alive. Then I saw it - a large shape, near-transparent, a thin proboscis lodged in between the engineer’s ribs, sucking on his flesh. As it sucked, the human’s body seemed to deflate, while at the same time the creature’s transparency began to colour pink.
(Continued on next alt-text)(Continued from previous alt-text)
Since then, I have come across countless other bodies, some stripped of flesh, some of bone, some of skin. And the creature I have seen many times too - each time pinker, bloodier, as though building itself layer by layer into completeness.
I believe that the creature’s survival depends on its ability to adapt to its circumstances, to create itself anew from its surroundings. Gradually it is becoming bigger, stronger, smarter.
Weaponless, stranded, I am helpless to defend myself against it.
Unless by doing what it does.
For months I have been collecting the creature’s excretions and using them as fertilizer in the improvised greenhouse I have erected in the ship’s sauna. The only plants I was able to scavenge from the ship’s garden were a handful of established kiwi fruit vines and these I have nurtured as though they were my own children.
A week ago I carried out my first harvest - a bowl of mature fruits, bred on the waste from the creature. These I devoured, from seed to skin - the skin, I soon discovered, being the repository of the most useful nutrients - savouring the sweet taste of fresh food after so long living on dried rations.
The results have been promising. I no longer need to use my suit when travelling between the broken parts of the ship; breathing has become optional. Even better, I have found that by ingesting small fragments of the debris through my newly-grown proboscis, I have been able to develop a new skin made of that same metal.
Like the creature I am becoming what I need to be in order to survive.
And if I fear that my humanity is drifting away like the corpses of my friends, into oblivion? That is just the price I have to pay for survival.]
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 8h
if they ever make marmite flavoured hard drugs, I'm going to be in so much trouble
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 8h
I don't drive and while I have a low opinion of drivers in general, I honestly hadn't entertained the idea that some of them might be having a wank while driving
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 8h
It's a very slightly different flavour to the crisps, interestingly. I think it's maybe the way it combines with the nuttiness? But strongly recommend if they are ever accessible to you
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 8h
I've likewise not watched it, but when I found out what it actually was, the posts became even _more_ incomprehensible somehow
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 8h
Well in a strange and inexplicable occurrence, the contents of the pictured pack have extremely rapidly ceased to exist mere moments after being opened
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 8h
imagine me giving you a small nod of acknowledgement as I add your name to the list of Marmite Enjoyers
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 8h
I've never tried heroin but I'm pretty confident that it can't possibly be as addictive as these marmite peanuts
A packet of marmite peanuts. They're oven baked coated in marmite seasoning
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 16h
The Summerhall plans definitely sound like they're deliberately intended to set up a situation where the remaining arts space becomes unviable so oh well we can just demolish it all then
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 16h
Aaaaaaaa
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Reposted by Nick 🐙
𝔐𝔞𝔤𝔫𝔢𝔱𝔰 🧲 @magnets.eurosky.social · 07/10/2026
"lying to americans" is a fine tourist tradition shared by both the irish and the people of edinburgh. telling americans in the pub that haggis are only not in edinburgh because we ate them all and put them in perth, and telling americans that leprechauns were all eaten in the famine, are the same
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
[making a lengthy order in the takeaway after friday night beers] I'm in talks on financing for a big chip purchase
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
how is there not a nostalgically beloved but very janky 1980s historical edutainment TV show featuring a puppet called Marionette Antoinette???
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
👀
A screenshot from the game Dressmaker.  A very gothic lady called Vivian is standing in my dress shop with one hand on her hip and is saying "My, my."   It's rather noticeable that her index finger and middle finger have (relatively) short red nails while her ring finger and little finger have very long orange nails
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
a cave is just a corridor that('s) rocks
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
wait actually drifting peacefully into the infinite void of space sounds pretty great now I think about it
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
ok have you considered doing this like a space elevator type situation so you're sitting in a garden chair on the ground next to the end of the cable that's tethered to earth? so you can chop it then sit back down with your book on earth and not be drifting away into the infinite void of space?
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
At some point during the covid lockdowns I decided "fuck it, I am watching Episodes 1-3 because I've not seen them since they were released" this was a terrible fucking mistake it turned out
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I would pay this man to advise me on pies
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
must have taken a modern day Don Draper to come up with that one, congrats to the backroom boys who finally cracked it
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I want to see a buddy movie where she teams up with Robert Wanko (lmao) the briefcase uzi secret service agent from the Reagan assassination attempt I want that a lot
A black and white photo Secret Service agent Robert Wanko looking slick but angry in a three piece suit and carrying an uzi (that he pulled from a briefcase)
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
This album is so good
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John Bull @garius.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
SPY BOSS <striding into an op centre with screens everywhere>: Okay. I need INFORMATION people. What do we know about this guy? NERD AT AN OPS DESK: He studies railway history actively, ma'am. SPY BOSS: And?! I need more NERD: He's building a comprehensive craft supply collection SPY BOSS: My god
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I honestly didn't realise until recently that Spirit Halloween was a real chain in the US and not just everyone doing a bit and iterating on a reference to some original media or meme that I was unfamiliar with
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
"Do we have eyes on? We lost him in Tangiers and I-" "He just started watching a 2 hour video about British railway seating while flocking scenery so this we know he's locked down. We're wheels up in 5"
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rico. @whoisrico.bsky.social · 05/10/2025
Getting ready for Halloween #KLF
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Large scale flood defences
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Ash Jñānagarbha @jnanagarbha.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
‘Freelance Pie Advisor’ is the fantasy job of a very high percentage of British men - reaching levels where it exceeds ‘spaceman’ and ‘England centre forward’ for blokes in north west England.
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Mr. Cait @chas.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The entire world is falling apart because ten percent of the population got hypnotized by a fucking speak and spell. I hate it here.
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I sometimes consider going over to strangers having a Serious Relationship Call or doing work calls this way and just butting in to ruin things "yeah he's cheating, his other GF just left", "this guy's a shithead, fire him"
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Mousecow @mousecow.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Mousecow is STILL on manoeuvres in SS Washbasket. #EverybodyLovesMousecow
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badly drawn boo! 🎃👻🧛🏼‍♀️ @soapachu.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
IMPORTANT TUMMY UPDATE
A six week old tuxedo kitten lying on her back in my lap, showing lots of very huffable tummy
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
He's so great in everything, whether as awkward dork, smug douchebag or surprisingly charismatic cool guy
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 05/10/2026
An AuDHD man told to try the Pomodoro Technique as a way to overcome distractions and procrastination has reportedly fallen down a multi-hour rabbit hole on the history of the tomato.
thedailytism.com
AuDHD man advised to try Pomodoro Technique falls down seven-hour rabbit hole on history of tomato
An AuDHD man told to try the Pomodoro Technique as a way to overcome distractions and procrastination has reportedly fallen down a multi-hour rabbit hole on the history of the tomato. Anand Trivedi,…
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I strongly hope, and I mean this in absolute seriousness, that Summerhall have very good fire detection/suppression systems and on-site security 24/7 because I think we all know how this kind of thing goes
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I am so sick of developers frantic to throw up yet more student accommodation and hotels, particularly when it involves the proposed demolition of parts of the single best arts space in Edinburgh bulldozing culture to accommodate people lured here by promises of Edinburgh's cultural highlights
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
"back in my day..." always deserves an interruption of "well it's not yours any more, is it?"
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I cannot fathom people who go through their life just constantly turning their back on the modern world and thinking "back in my day..." for whatever reason I have friends like that already and they're only in their 40s, it's so infuriating
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Return to Oz in the cinema. I was pretty scared but my younger brother was so terrified that we had to leave the screening and I only saw the second half of the film when it eventually showed up on TV.
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
It is hilarious, baffling and terrifying that people keep falling for exactly the same type of thing
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
In all honesty - I don't watch much these days. A few episodes of stuff we're watching at a weekend with Lady Companion, and very slowly watching Star Trek: Deep Space Nine while exercising during the week. Most things pass me by, and some genres completely
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
You live in a blessed state of grace.
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Yeah, I appreciate the current model of TV makes it hard to thread the needle between "keep going forever because it's popular" vs "no really, it's a limited series and will stop, we are _done_" vs "might only get one season but will end on a cliffhanger regardless"
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
WAIT EVERYONE WAIT I forgot Venture Bros, which also ends perfectly but also I appreciate that the irregularity of Venture Bros seasons/specials is not one that other shows can either achieve or should aim for
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I feel similarly about Only Murders In The Building which should have stopped after season 2. It's still fun, and there are many great bits and fun guest stars but it is clearly diminishing returns season on season
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Nick 🐙 @nickoctopus.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I've forgotten what my point was really, mostly it's just that The Americans and The Good Place are wholly perfect, and Twin Peaks achieves perfection at various points
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