iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 4h

Read this headline then just stared into the sun for thirty minutes hoping to summon an asteroid

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

We didn’t have fidget spinners when I was a kid. We had cigarettes

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I'd rather fight 1000 horse sized badgers then listen to 30 seconds of this 7 damn minutes of ford truckaganda

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Saturday people love walking into a restaurant and saying "we'll have between 4 and 14 people, who knows maybe 20"

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Is asking the dishie to bum a smoke as fussy as reminding the host not to pick their nose or telling the bartender to quit ripping rumple with the regulars? We assembled a team of service industry burnouts to find out

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Dave Infante @dinfontay.com · 25/09/2026

when somebody orders a shot of malört

Erica, 40, Republican, Latino, customer service Bad.
Pam, 66, Republican, white, retired Amoral.
Becky, 51, Democrat, white, retail Disgusting.
Robert S., 52, Republican, Latino, human resources Two words: morally corrupt.
Hitesh, 57, Republican, Asian, looking for work Disgusting.

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da share z0ne @dasharez0ne.bsky.social · 08/03/2026

LOL - dashare.zone ADMIN

A SKELATEN IN GROCEY STORE "LOL IF YOUR USING TWITTER IN 2026, IF I WANTED TO BEYELLED AT BY A BOT I WOULD MOVE ITEMS TO THE BAGGING AREA WITHOUT SCANNING THEM " DONT KNOW IF YOU SAW IT LATELY BUT ITS SOMEHOW EVEN WORSE THAN IT WAS IN 2025, AND THAT WAS WORSE THEN 2024, AND THAT WAS WORSE THEN 2023, ETC, BY THE TIME THE SHIT GOT SOLD TO ELLON IT WAS ALREADY ALMOST DEAD, THE LAST HANDFUL OF HUMAN USERS WANDERING IN ALGORITHM HELL WHILE BOTS RESPONT TO THEM IN GPT SPEAK, THE AGING SNARKY COMMENTERS REFUSING TO MOVE TO BSKY OR THREADS BECAUSE THE PEOPLE ONE NOTCH DUMMER THEN THEM ARE STILL ON TWITTER AND THEY HAVE TO DUNK THEM BECAUSE WITHOUT THAT THEY HAVE NOTHING TO SAY AND NO WAY TO PROVE THERE SELF WORTH, AND THE PEPE NAZI'S FEEL EMBOLDENED TO START NEW SLURS AND SMACK THEM SELF IN THE FACE WITH OBJECTS TO INCREASE THEIR JAW LINE, BUT EVEN THEY DONT LIKE IT BECAUSE "THE LIBS" ARE NO LONGER THERE TO GET MAD AT THEM, AN APP FOR NO ONE WITH A SOUL, OWNED BY DEVIL, STILL FULL OF YOUR DEAD FRIENDS POSTS FROM YEARS PAST, AN ENTIRE ERA OF YOUR LIFE ONLINE NOW ONLY EVIDENCED BY OLD WORDS CARVED INTO THE CLIFFS OF HELL,,,,, BUT WHAT DO I KNOW IM JUST A SKELETIN - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Grandmaster B has dropped out of the Ed Sheeran tour

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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Now that everyone has turned on Ed Sheeran I finally feel comfortable saying this: you shouldn’t be allowed to get a bunch of tattoos if you’re a musician who makes wuss music

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

"you never swapped pants with a stranger before?!" #CookQuotes

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

"I can't be the only one who starts singing 'Hey There Lonely Girl' every time a solo salmon salad comes back" #CookQuotes

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Wait until y'all hear about crust with cheese & pepperoni with no sauce

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gem (real name) 💎 @gemcitygem.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

me: hi gimme a large pizza pizza guy: any appetizers? me: what do you have? pizza guy: we've got fried cheese with no sauce or crust, crust with no cheese or sauce, and crust and cheese with no sauce me: gimme crust and cheese with no sauce pizza guy: and for your dip? me: sauce

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

"I'm more of a 'put it in' than 'take it out' kind of gal" #CookQuotes

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Comfortably Numb @numb.comfortab.ly · 04/09/2026

Whoever was the Democratic consultant that told them to stop calling these people "weird" should be catapulted into the sun.

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

I'm sure there are worse ways to start off a day than hearing a 6am LRAD announcement about which neighbor's doors are about to be blown off by SWAT, but man what a Wednesday!

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

The Civil War was about Velveeta's rights

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Damn parsnip, settle down, we're at work

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

"you could do Pilates with that facial hair" #CookQuotes

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NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Meet the Trump-loving billionaires behind Freedom Sex, which has been offering $47 prostitutes at trailer parks throughout the Midwest.

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Don't worry about when a white pickup picks up a working lady, worry about when that white pickup doesn't pick up that working woman. That's a white pickup up to no good.

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Bailey McCann @baileymcc.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Yeah, alright I'm going back to cigs

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Rick Rubin didn't get Dolly to cover NIN's Closer and that's a damn shame

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Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

This is going to completely screw up the lyrics to The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

"I'm Pittsburgh sober, nothing above 70 proof for me" #CookQuotes

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

"I wrote a song about coins on the bar bathroom floor, it's called The Dingleberry Fairy" #CookQuotes

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Mike Gianella @mikegianella.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

our kicking two people out of our rally who were wearing “kill your local pedophile” t-shirts has people asking a lot of questions that are already answered by our kicking two people out of our rally who were wearing “kill your local pedophile” t-shirts

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Robert Komaniecki @komaniecki.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

How do I explain to small business owners that the menu on the left is one billion times more appealing than the one on the right

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Craig Calcaterra @craigcalcaterra.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

A reminder that we don't lack national health in this country because it would cost too much. It would actually save tons of money. We lack it because it would not enrich businesses and their executives like the current system does. bsky.app/profile/jent...

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

It's been an immeasurably horrible weekend at work but Dancing Gnome makes delightful lagers and Porky's in Etna put a delightful burnt end sandwich in my facehole.

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

We need an emoji set for *Benny Hill Theme"/Yakety Sax

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Took your girl here and she said she'd never been

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

You're boycotting the beaver gas station because they're litigious, I'm boycotting the beaver gas station because I haven't had a vacation in ten years

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Cos! @algernonentity.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

food prices too high? just eat leaves you fucking peasants

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Robb Witmer @robbwitmer.info · 08/08/2026

We are taking your jobs, driving everyone you know insane, and giving your donuts tumors. We’re the tech industry, and you’re welcome.

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

You think that carpet pissers did this?

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

I dropped a keg square onto my big toe today and that champion toe reverse turtle headed itself into my shin or something. Nary a fuckin bruise, good toe.

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Welcome back, Fighting Baseball

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the strait of hormones @kiraisgr8.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

i made this like 3 years ago as part of a shitpost abt how you could probably get them to quit wiping with the right motivation and they're out there doing it all on their own

text reading "I DONT WIPE" on a blue background with a vertical american flag and dukes of hazard car. it's underlined in red white and blue

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 11/06/2026

"Being a grown up sucks,' said Ramona just before taking a large swig of Malört straight from the bottle. — an excerpt from 𝘙𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘢 𝘘𝘶𝘪𝘮𝘣𝘺, 𝘈𝘨𝘦 45

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

AI is going to lead to a trypophobia epidemic

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Touching grass is not enough, I need to

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Johnson @moarhops.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

"thinking about starting a GoFundMe for my legal fees. I don't have any yet but I'm thinking of sassing some cops this weekend" #CookQuotes

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