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Matt Kass

@mattkass.bsky.social
295 followers 254 following 220 posts

Ask me about game-worn jerseys. Diehard Devils fan, world’s most adequate poster, and Taylor Ham’s strongest soldier. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Fitzy boy when his team has predictably fallen off a cliff due to previously known deficiencies and everyone else from players to coaches have already had to face the music:
media.tenor.com
a cartoon character from nickelodeon is standing in front of a glowing circle
ALT: a cartoon character from nickelodeon is standing in front of a glowing circle
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Sabrina Imbler @sabs.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
Nothing constrains these agents except whatever inhibits any individual one of them, personally, from brutalizing and murdering any person who disobeys them. @albertburneko.bsky.social on the murder in Minneapolis defector.com/ice-agent-ki...
defector.com
ICE Agent Kills Woman, DHS Tells Obvious, Insane Lies About It | Defector
On Wednesday in Minneapolis, masked government agents apparently representing Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) surrounded a stationary vehicle stopped in the middle of a residential street. O...
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American Museum of Natural History @amnh.org · 04/11/2025
It’s Trilobite Tuesday! In 1698, Ogygiocarella became the first trilobite to be described & illustrated in scientific literature. But when it was first discovered in English outcrops, it hadn’t been recognized as a trilobite yet. In fact, the Ordovician species was referred to as a “flat fish.”
A photo of a fossilized trilobite. It is brownish in color, surrounded by gray stone. It is flattened, oblong, and has a multi-segmented body.
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
Da Giants, baby. Love da Giants.
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
Probably should start posting on here more often.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 16/09/2025
Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk
theonion.com
Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk
NEW YORK—Insisting your fate was sealed the moment you clicked the link, a report released Tuesday found that you will be fired for reading this headline about Charlie Kirk. “Shortly after you navigat...
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Trung Le Nguyen @trungles.com · 01/08/2025
I kinda think the way people use ChatGPT is sort of aspirational because it seems to emulate the way rich people have sycophants lying to them all the time until they lose touch with reality and also their entire minds
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 22/07/2025
As far as I’m concerned, I pay my Defector subscription every year to get access to WYTS. Everything else beyond that is gravy.
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 30/06/2025
Locked and loaded for the Summer of Fitz. #NJDevils
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 23/06/2025
Found the perfect seat for the HHOF’s induction announcement. Now to await the selection of Patrik Elias and Alexander Mogilny…
Every hotel got the cuck chair
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Defector @defector.com · 02/06/2025
The Liberty are Godzilla and the WNBA is a bunch of tall buildings: defector.com/the-liberty-...
defector.com
The Liberty Are Godzilla And The WNBA Is A Bunch Of Tall Buildings | Defector
I thought the game I attended last Tuesday was just about the smoothest basketball any team could play, when the reigning champion New York Liberty jumped out to a 22-3 lead on the Golden State Valkyr...
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 03/06/2025
Summer concert plans: ✅
A run of three shows across June, July, and August for Babymetal, Weird Al, and My Chemical Romance. OP is attending all three.
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Sickos Committee @sickoscommittee.org · 23/05/2025
SLAW DOG BY 3/4 OF A WIENER
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Kage damagé @kagedamage.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
Her character source
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
Character recon underway on Long Island’s golden boy!
Tweet from Rachel Doerrie reading “I understand James Hagens is from Long Island and grew up an Islanders fan. However, you take Schaefer or Misa and you do not look back. You cannot afford to pass on that kind of talent for a story.
Hagens will be great, but the #Isles must take the best player.”

Tweeted at 7:39 pm EST on May 5, 2025
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
Picture of John Hynes adjusting his shirt into his belt on the bench while coaching the New Jersey Devils.
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
Genuinely at this point, what the hell do you do if you’re a Kings fan? Solid regular season, home ice in the first round, one of the weakest Oilers squads in the 97/29 era. Ad it just…didn’t work.
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
The Devils in round 1, game 4, for some reason:
THIS IS A CERTIFIED
DENNIS CHOLOWSKI MOMENT

BOTTOM TEXT
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one dozen bats at a keyboard @panasonicdx4500.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
- Hosts his home state Buckeyes after they win the College Football Championship - Trophy falls apart the moment he touches it - Diplomatically pressures the Vatican into meeting with Pope Francis on Easter Sunday - Pope Francis dies twelve hours later
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
Objectively very funny that this #NJDevils season has felt like the equivalent of pulling teeth from January onwards, meanwhile they never slipped out of a playoff spot and surrendered their lowest number of goals against as a team since 2015-16. Incredible commitment to the bit.
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 16/04/2025
defector.com
Mark Messier, Namesake And Sole Voter Of Mark Messier Leadership Award Presented By Mark Messier, Knows How To Fix The Rangers: Mark Messier | Defector
It has been a nightmare season for the New York Rangers, who were eliminated Saturday to become just the fourth team in NHL history to miss the playoffs one year after putting up the league’s best rec...
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the late great hannibal lizova @yanoforsure.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
when bettman eventually steps down and ends his time as commissioner, every single discussion of his reign should include the names of those who the NHL failed. this is his legacy. the deaths and suicides and ruined lives are the legacy of the bettman era.
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onion person @junlper.beer · 14/04/2025
cryptocurrency in 2025 is insane to me because there are rugpulls every other day, more and more every year. you’d think people wouldn’t keep falling for it at a rate more than a baby falls for peek-a-boo
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Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 11/04/2025
folks again unless you have no other choice do not get in a helicopter for any goddamn reason
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 10/04/2025
there is no “epidemic,” he is almost certainly going to say it is vaccines and, well, stay safe everyone.
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mike @coldsportstakes.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
RIP to Ray Shero. Your mileage may vary on his time as GM in NJ (I think in retrospect he did a pretty good job, considering what he started with), but this is undeniably one of the best quotes I've ever seen a GM unload on a player in a negotiation.
Tweet from Stephen Whyno: Devils GM Ray Shero to AP’s @john_wawrow on restricted free agent Pavel Zacha: “I don’t give a (expletive) if he signs with the KHL or if he signs with (expletive) Brampton. I don’t give a (expletive) where. We hold his rights.”
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 04/04/2025
The NHL eyeing the soon-to-be plummeting value of the US dollar:
Lord of the rings orc meme “LOOKS LIKE CANADIAN EXPANSION'S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS”
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
Okay, new theory: The timeline we live in has been constructed as some sort of specific personal hell for Hillary Clinton, and we’re all just accidentally along for the ride.
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 29/03/2025
Let’s check in on that pursuit for the second wild card spot in the East!
A check on the NHL standings and race for the second wild card spot, currently held by Columbus. The Canadiens are 3-4-3 in their last ten games and has lost five in a row, the Rangers are 3-6-1 in their last ten games and have lost two in a row, the Islanders are 4-3-3 in their last ten games and have lost three in a row, and the Red Wings are 3-7-0 in their last ten games and have lost two in a row.These women having a mid-off tweet
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 29/03/2025
You absolutely will not believe what happened next #NJDevils
Tweet from Devils beat reporter Amanda Stein.

Brenden Dillon knows how tough WPG can be for opponents; Jets have just six home losses:
"Just get out of the first five at least O-0, I think you have at least a chance. Now being on the opposing side, I was telling the guys, we gotta weather the storm early, no pun intended."

Tweeted at 2:12 PM on 3/28/25
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 28/03/2025
Oversaturated picture of Yankee Stadium, overlaid with text reading “SHOULDVE THROWN THAT PITCH IN A DIFFERENT PARK BOZO”
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 25/03/2025
-Applying to jobs -See resume was downloaded on LinkedIn a few days ago -Reach out this morning to connect with recruiter and find out status -Get sent automated rejection email for position within the hour Excellent system for finding employment, no notes.
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David Dayen @ddayen.bsky.social · 25/03/2025
Some astonishing numbers in here: -OpenAI loses $2 for every $1 it makes -OpenAI projects annual losses of $14 billion by 2026 -To break even OpenAI needs to increase revenue 25x in just 5 years -33% of VC portfolios are committed to AI -5 AI-heavy stocks account for 29% of the S&P 500's value
prospect.org
Bubble Trouble
An AI bubble threatens Silicon Valley, and all of us.
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mike @coldsportstakes.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
Got added to Fitz's front office group chat where they all agree to give 3+ year contracts to a bunch of guys who suck
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 25/03/2025
The #NJDevils will likely make the playoffs, since the rest of the Metro behind them are varying shades of turbo ass, but man, do I NOT feel confident in their chances once they get in
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ITYSL memes 💦🥩 @ityslmemes.com · 24/03/2025
These leaked national security group chats are wild:
National security chat with JD Vance messaging Pete Hegseth about potential Middle East war plans, and then Bri texts “oh my god did you see Elon’s hat?”
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
Nate Bastian likely finally healthy scratched with 11 games to go #NJDevils
media.tenor.com
a person is laying on the ground with blood on their feet
ALT: a person is laying on the ground with blood on their feet
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The Onion @theonion.com · 21/03/2025
DOJ Designates Posting Photos Of Balding Elon Musk As Domestic Terrorism
theonion.com
DOJ Designates Posting Photos Of Balding Elon Musk As Domestic Terrorism
WASHINGTON—Warning that the charge carried a five-year mandatory minimum sentence, the U.S. Department of Justice declared Friday that the distribution of images featuring a balding Elon Musk constitu...
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 21/03/2025
Remembering last night’s 3rd period performance: Image by @backhandeddevil.bsky.social
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 21/03/2025
This is how everything has felt in the US since Inauguration Day, more or less.
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
Mickey 17! Great movie! Go see it!
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
A gutsy win for the #NJDevils, with Jake Allen stepping up to steal two crucial points in Columbus!😈
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The Onion @theonion.com · 14/03/2025
Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them
theonion.com
Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them
WASHINGTON—With the elected officials trying their hardest not to move a muscle, reports confirmed Monday that top Democratic leaders in Congress were standing real still in hopes that the American pe...
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
Another night, another #NJDevils win, this time over the Oilers. Shoutout Mrs. Fields!
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 12/03/2025
Big regulation win for the #NJDevils against Columbus tonight. Keep it pushing, boys!😈
Ken Daneyko stonks meme
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 11/03/2025
@danielamoia.bsky.social the wait is over! The impossible has happened! #NJDevils
MRS. FIELDS HAS WON THE DESSERT RACE COMPETITION FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS SEASON.
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Matt Kass @mattkass.bsky.social · 11/03/2025
I wonder what could possibly have happened to make Southwest change policy so drastically in so short of…ah, hedge fund. I see.
Southwest's changes come after months of pressure from activist Elliott Investment
Management. The firm took a stake in the airline last year and won five board seats as it pushed for quick changes at the company, which held on for decades - until now - to perks such as free checked bags, changeable tickets and open seating.
For tickets purchased on or after May 28, Southwest customers in all but the top tier-fare class will have to pay to check bags, though there will be exceptions. Elite frequent flyers who hold "A-List Preferred" status will still get two bags and A-List level members will get one free checked bag. Southwest credit card holders will also get one free checked bag.
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