mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 13hmark my words: within the next five years there will be a commercial with him and jerry rice singing rice rice baby 000
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 16ha new associate started this week me: wanna go to my hearing with me on thursday? associate: totally. do i gotta wear a suit? me: congratulations you chose to become a lawyer! #lawsky ⚖️ 040
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 29/09/2026playoff baseball is october ball even in september those are the rules handed down by abner octoberday 060
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 29/09/2026omg i didn’t even realize he was still playing jeesy creesy #gocoogs 010
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 29/09/2026🎶 hello bony my old friend tell your dog I said hi again 040
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 29/09/2026excuse me do you know *hard* it is to be perfect at anything at all? 240
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 27/09/2026c walk’s look of utter indifference here is appropriate 071
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 27/09/2026DESPITE OUR BEST EFFORTS YOUR HOUSTON #ASTROS ARE AL WEST CHAMPS 080
Reposted by mattitationsMichael Shopoff @mshopoff.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Who cares about the #astros record? 0185
Reposted by mattitationskwisatz haderade (#FreeSkylar) @booksandbows.bsky.social · 25/09/2026#inspired 3567
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I don’t know who you are, lucas spence, but I love you. #astros 181
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 27/09/2026age verification? I had who framed roger rabbit on vhs 040
Reposted by mattitationsCage @ridiculouscage.bsky.social · 26/09/2026"why would I deceive you?" 130105172082
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 26/09/2026well, despite our best efforts, we won #hookem 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘 150
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 26/09/2026unbelievable. the only defense of simmons is to serve as inspiration for this art 011
Reposted by mattitationsAaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 26/09/2026It’s always sad to say goodbye to baseball season. There’s nothing finer than 162, starting when the world is blooming and winding down as that chill sets in. Winter is coming and I’ll make the best of it, but I’m already looking forward to spring ⚾️ 1753075132
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 25/09/2026rolling up to the interview with an iced diesel to show I don’t need this job 040
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 24/09/2026incalculable losses in dollars and simple well-being 141
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 24/09/2026watching the #astros and the rangers battle for the AL west is like watching two raccoons fight over a roasted chicken carcass in a dumpster. and I am here for it. 170
Reposted by mattitationsMiss Chris @fromscratchclub.bsky.social · 23/09/2026METS, DO YOUR PART AND WIN #MetsSky #LGM 💙🧡🟣 091
Reposted by mattitationsJen Rice @jenrice.bsky.social · 23/09/2026If you've been procrastinating on registering to vote in Texas, this is it. You need to do it now. Right now. 13813
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 23/09/2026*watching slow horses* me: was that guy in an earlier season? it’s been so long I don’t remember spouse: I dunno. all these british people look alike. 030
Reposted by mattitationsDiet Coquette @seventwelve21.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Despite all my rage, I’m still 041
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 21/09/2026I am the walrus, your honor. may it please the court, coocoo cachoo. 061
Reposted by mattitationsRaider @iwillnotbesilenced.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Protests have erupted in Austin, Texas after ICE shot 29 year old Wilber Rafael Garces Perez. 532218814
Reposted by mattitationsJohn Scalzi @scalzi.com · 20/09/2026FUCK YES IT'S A GODDAMN DECORATIVE GOURD MOTHERFUCKERS 562042118
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 20/09/2026did anyone tell cj stroud he has a game today? 020
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 20/09/2026okay cj let’s see if we can remember how to score a touchdown. or did you use them all up last week? 000
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 20/09/2026just thinking about how if obama had torn down the east wing one weekend when he thought no one would notice, fox news would have called for his summary [redacted] 020
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 20/09/2026this is central texas fairgrounds and 4-H club erasure 031
Reposted by mattitationsS. @sherrliloquy.bsky.social · 19/09/2026RIP 🕯️🪶 “Chipped notes of birdsong descend from the trees, tuneful and broken; the notes pile about me like leaves." ~Annie Dillard Pilgrim at Tinker Creek 041
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 18/09/2026joe lo arriving at daikin:static.klipy.comGrandpa Abe's Confused Exit in The SimpsonsAlt: abe simpson walking into and out of the reputable establishment upon seeing bart at reception 020
Reposted by mattitationsJulia Is Waving, Not Drowning @booktweeting.bsky.social · 18/09/2026PLEASE EMBRACE THE TORTURE NEXUS, SAY TORTURE NEXUS RENTIERS 0133
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 18/09/2026me when the #astros are one game over .500 and lead the division: (how many more times am I going to do this this season? we’ll see!)static.klipy.comZendaya's Glamorous PortraitALT: Zendaya's Glamorous Portrait 150
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 17/09/2026absolutely disappointed but I cannot stress enough how much of a dumbass 20-year-old matt was 360
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 17/09/2026I have to admit something: when I was young, I vaguely thought martha stewart owned martha’s vineyard 050