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mattitations

@mattitations.bsky.social
629 followers 1.1K following 5.2K posts

hooray for books, baseball, and nice people! pfp 📸 adhoganart.com

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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
new favorite shirt arrived! #nashvilledollys
a black tee shirt that says nashville dolly’s baseball club
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
bluesky mods with some real helen lovejoy vibes
post of fine art being hidden behind adult content warning:
Matt @matttomic.bsky.social • 3h
We did it.
We successfully saw works by all four
Ninja Turtles in one day. 1/3
• Adult Content
Show
Labeled by @moderation.bsky.app. Learn more.
03108 057日日helen lovejoy in the simpsons saying won’t somebody please think of the children
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
drawing of brainiac 1991
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
ahhh dinner al fresco
a lizard on our front door with a cricket in its mouth
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
gabrielle anwar throws an award into a pool that johnny depp is standing in with his arms stretched out in the video for tom petty’s into the great wide open
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
the midterms are coming
halloween decorations in a front yard staged like a crime scene: police tape around the grisly dismemberment of a giant pumpkinheaded monster. regular skeletons including a cop skeleton stand around and wonder how this happened
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
🎶 hello bony my old friend tell your dog I said hi again
a giant skeleton appears to be emerging from the roof of a house. a skeleton dog sits nearby
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
how your email finds me
a large frozen margarita next to chips and salsa
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
JESUS, I SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR OTHER PEOPLE, AND I WANT THAT FOR ME. M
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
on a related note, we watched the dead zone last night.
the dead zone, in which president martin sheen orders a pre-emptive nuclear strike and says the missiles are flying hallelujah
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
this is central texas fairgrounds and 4-H club erasure
nyt spelling bee says caliche is not a word
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
this morning I finished chuck klosterman’s football. I always enjoy klosterman as he has perfected the modern art of takes: discursive, nerdy, probably incorrect, intriguing without being deep, and frequently very funny. he argues that football is doomed for structural economic reasons but also
FOOTBALL
CHUCK KLOSTERMAN
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
apparently they’ve cast the new #jamesbond
amber ruffin sitting on a desk wearing a bitching purple floral jacket and holding a cocktail
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
moe szyslak in a weird screen shot
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
today I finished mathematics for human flourishing by mathematician francis su. su writes about how math can help us explore human virtues like beauty, play, community, love & how many students are ill-served by their math experience in school, including his own difficulties in graduate school
WINNER OF THE MATHEMATICS ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA'S 2021 EULER BOOK PRIZE
MATHEMATICS
FOR HUMAN
FLOURISHING
FRANCIS SU
WITH REFLECTIONS BY CHRISTOPHER JACKSON
"This is perhaps the most important mathematics book of our time. Francis Su shows mathematics is an experience of the mind and, most important, of the heart."
-JAMES TANTON, GLOBAL MATH PROJECT
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
alright alright alright
6:49
4 Bluesky
Your dialect map
Redder areas talk more like you; bluer areas least.
You talk most like someone from Texas - about 57% of your answers match a typical resident.
MYDIALECT - STANDARD
Least like you
Most like you
https://mydialect.us
Save map as PNG
Cities most & least like you
Interpolated from the nearest survey responses.
MOST SIMILAR
1. Dallas, TX (56%)
2. Houston, TX (56%)
3. New Orleans, LA
(56%)
LEAST SIMILAR
1. Boston, MA (48%)
2. Portland, ME (48%)
3. Minneapolis, MN
(49%)
mydialect.us
What gave you u..uy
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
happy friday to all the trash pandas!
a scruffy black and tan dog holds a pacifier in her mouth that she found on our walk. her tail is wagging.
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
yeah that was weird but this is the one that wigged me out. wtf
QUESTION 60 OF 60
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
sunshower
the wolf is giving birth
the devil is beating his wife
monkey's wedding
fox's wedding
pineapple rain
liquid sun
O I have no term or expression for this
other
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
the bowie knife was the dead giveaway
dialect map tells me what I already knew: I talk like a texan
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
this was the highlight of the game until isaac’s dinger
hello kitty on the mound bowing to the crowd on the jumbotron
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
we tried our hand at the thing where you buy old paintings at goodwill and add to them. we’re already thinking about halloween here. but also painting is very hard!
a painting of a red brick building, very quaint and well manicured the same painting but with halloween additions: a grim reaper, angry pumpkin, howling tree, and bloody fangs and red eyes on the entrance doorwaya old timey tarot card depicting a skeleton grim reaper that I borrowed from
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
gotta catch em all I really should read some of these short stories
15 books of short stories
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
screen grab of the simpsons x files episode where burns is glowing and Marge and Homer and willie are in the foreground
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
the other night I read the winning story errand by raymond carver. it’s about the death of the greatest short story writer ever, chekhov. after I read it, I found out it was carver’s last story ever and he died in 1988. the introduction and his bio don’t mention his death either…
Errand
RAYMOND CARVER
Raymond Carver is the author of Where I'm Calling From: New and Selected Stories, published in 1988 by Atlantic Monthly Press, and recently, two books of poems: Ultramarine (1986) and Where Water Comes Together with Other Water (1985), published by Random House. His work has been translated into more than twenty lan-guages. He was born in Clatskanie, Oregon.
Chekhov. On the evening of March 22, 1897, he went to dinner in Moscow with his friend and confidant Alexei Suvorin. This Suvorin was a very rich newspaper and book publisher, a reactionary, a self-made man whose father was a private at the battle of Borodino. Like Chekhov, he was the grandson of a serf. They had that in common: each had peasant's blood in his veins. Otherwise, politically and tem-peramentally, they were miles apart. Nevertheless, Suvorin was one of Chekhov's few intimates, and Chekhov enjoyed his company.
Naturally, they went to the best restaurant in the city, a former town house called the Hermitage place where it could take hours, half the night even, to get through a ten-course meal that would, of course, include several wines, liqueurs, and coffee. Chekhov was impeccably dressed, as always dark suit and waistcoat, his usual pince-nez. He looked that night very much as he looks in the photographs taken of him during this period. He was relaxed, jovial. He shook hands with the maitre d', and with a glance took in the large dining room. It was brilliantly illuminated by ornate chandeliers, the tables occupied by elegantly dressed men and women. Waiters came Copyright ©1987 by Raymond Carver. First appeared in The New Yorker. Reprinted by permission.
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
if I find a copy of a best american short stories or the o. henry awards, I will buy it.
DOUBLEDAY'S DISTINGUISHED P•R•I•ZE
ANNUAL LITERARY EVENT
STORIES
THE O.HENRY
EDITED ANDWITH AN
AWARDS
NTRODUCTION BY
1 • 9 • 8 • 8
William 
AbraHAMS
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
this is lawyer erasure and it’s… okay fine whatever
nyt spelling bee says muniment is not a word
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
this is rodent erasure and it’s racist.
nyt spelling bee says nutria isn’t a word
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
today I finished turf wars by demaurice smith. I’ve really cooled on football over the years for a number of reasons (cte, violence, the billionaire exploitation) but I heard about smith’s memoir of his tenure leading the players’ union on a defector podcast and decided to check it out. 1/
THE FIGHT FOR THE SOUL OF AMERICA'S GAME
TURF WARS
PATRIOTS
12
DEMAURICE SMITH
FORMER EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF THE NFL PLAYERS ASSOCIATION
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
the arc of justice is long but it bends toward plastic skeletons
on the left: the bexar county justice of the peace
on the right: a spirit halloween spooky scary
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
“gleaming forehead”? heidegger, you scoundrel
THE
NEW YORKER
He was thirty-five, married, and the father of two sons, a handsome man with a trim, slightly curled mustache and a piercing stare. Arendt was eighteen, with a gently molded chin and beautiful, yearning eyes. They began an affair. His letters to her were moony in a traditional German style. "The demonic has seized me," he wrote. "The still, prayerlike folding of your loving hands and your gleaming forehead guarded it through womanly transfiguration." (Heidegger could have written librettos for Wagner.) In a confessional sketch
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
as always, muse (my spouse’s favorite band) put on a fantastic show!
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
afternoon post it doodle
post it doodle of uig chess king sculpture picture of uig chess king sculpture. the king  has wide eyes and is holding a sword as if on high alert

https://artuk.org/discover/artworks/uig-chess-king-283014
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
wait what www.newyorker.com/culture/the-...
=
THE
NEW YORKER
Burke, who was raised in Dartmouth, Massachusetts, as the daughter of a doctor and a nurse, grew up with conservative beliefs. (She voted for Mitt Romney in 2012.) But she began to question them when she and her hushand, whom she married at twenty-six, spent two years living out of an Airstream trailer and reading Marxist theory. She became passionate about feminism and leftism, and she found, on TikTok, an outlet to speak freely about topics such as toxic masculinity and her support for Palestinians. I started
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
glendale community college flag that says e pluribus anus and a six-pointed asterisk logo
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
I mean what the strangled cat is this
the back of trump’s head looks like a tattered mud flap
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
freedom of speech meme
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
#astros win in style for my buddy’s birthday! (we didn’t know it was hp day when we bought tickets)
orbit running across centerfield holding aloft the proud Astros star flagthe bull pen : good game good game good game
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
you love to see it
my feed full of yordan posts
#astros

2 Reposted by kwisatz haderade (#FreeSkylar) emoly @emacattack.bsky.social • 56s yordan is so fucking good btw
•••
Papa Cap @timspies.bsky.social • 34s
Yordan!!! #GoStros #Astros
•.•
Allen's Sister @allenssister.bsky.so... • 39s
Wade @ the Mendoza line except when bases are loaded. I'll take it! #astros
•••
Jerome @jmszpila.bsky.social • 48s
That's my MVP #Astros
n
04
Leslie @lesliemullin.bsky.social • 15m
Astros plz stop embarrassing us in front of @jmszpila.bsky.social and his family
11
...
Leslie @lesliemullin.bsky.social • 48s
Is that all I had to do??
个
4
••°
¿ Reposted by 2
Code: Veronica X
Code: Veronica X @codevero...
・10
→ Replied to 2 Code: Veronica X YORDAN ALVAREZ, THINGS OF T
NATURE
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
I have the power
a skull shaped beer glass in front of a tv playing he-man
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
ala @timspies.bsky.social : happy pride month, jerkwads
American League
AERICAN
AL WEST
W
L
PCT
GB
L10
STR
HOU *
57
55
.509
-
9-1
W
T
TEX


56 .495
1.5
4-6

SEA
54
58
.482
3.0
3-7
W
A'S
ATH
45
65
-409
11.0
2-8

LAA
42
68
.382
14.0
3-7
L
1100
mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
barco?
marge simpson examining a bottle of spices: oregano? what the hell?
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
it came! when I saw this on blooski I knew I had to have it
my very own copy of abortion, baseball, and weed: economic issues of our times
by drs douglass north and roger leroy miller
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
/x
I took it on a dare. We were sitting around there drinking. I was kind of hoorah-in. This was like on a Thursday. So some of my buddies said, 'Okay, loudmouth, why don't you go take the fucking bar exam if you're so smart? So we bet a hundred dollars—me against four buddies-that I could take the sumbitch and pass it. And the hundred dollars would be used to buy beer for each other.
"I hadn't studied. I hadn't done any of the application shit. Noth-ing. I rushed to Houston on Saturday morning to see if I could apply.
The chairman of admissions just kind of laughed at me because I was so fucked up. But they said it was okay.
"I studied over the weekend. A couple of professors were really nice. The word got around that this fucking nut was going to do this.
And I sailed into that sumbitch, and I made a 76 on the bar exam.
Seventy-five is passing. So I'm a lawyer. I didn't know anything about taxation. But when you're loose, you can play.
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
for those poor souls taking the bar today, just think of megarich king of torts joe jamail who took the bar on a dare before he finished law school and barely passed 1/
a problem later. First year, I was on probation. I failed torts. I did as bad as you could fuck it up. But I was saved because I passed con-tracts. I came back that summer to Houston and I thought about not going back to school, but I said, 'Bullshit? And I went back and I just changed my way of studying and thinking and then burned them up.
I made good grades and finished probably in the upper twenty-five or thirty percent. But the first year was almost a disaster.
"I took the bar exam in May of 1952. I was still not even done with school—I needed another semester and a half. But if you were a veteran, you could take the bar with sixty hours of classes or so.
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
today I finished the taking of getty oil by steve coll, a worthy entry in the “bastards of business” category about the lead up & trial of pennzoil v. texaco & the 10.5 billion dollar civil judgment that was the biggest in the nation and upheld on appeal. a good read with weirdos & lawyers /x
the cover of the taking of getty oil 

"Suspenseful... Always intriguing." —Publishers Weekly PENNZOIL, TEXACO, AND THE TAKEOVER BATTLE THAT MADE HISTORY THE TAKING
GETTY UIL
STEVE COLL
TWO-TIME WINNER OF THE PULITZER PRIZE
#lawsky ⚖️
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
good morning from the courthouse in beaumont
a tall old school courthouse haloed in morning sunlight
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Matt /
watching Ocean's
Trilogy.
Jan 21, 2017 •
The entire script:
George Clooney: God, we're handsome.
Brad Pitt: We are so handsome.
Ocean's Trilogy
The official Facebook page for Ocean's Eleve...
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
animatronic trump not at disney’s hall of waxen crashed out presidents
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
no. just flat out no.
(very dusty) dash says it’s 108 degrees outside
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mattitations @mattitations.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
today I finished george saunders’ collection of essays and humorous pieces, the braindead megaphone, which was published almost 20 years ago. humane, funny, and thoughtful, I really enjoyed it. I picked it up after reading his swim in a pond in the rain earlier this year. 1/
TH트
BRAINDEAD MEGAPHONE
ESSAYS
GEORGE
SAUNDERS
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