Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I hope I get the Mnemonic Plague so I remember everything 020
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 06/10/2026If it's the Bubonic Plague, I hope the english call it "Booby P" 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Unicorns make total sense, because cars have horns, so horses should have them too. 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Why do the English love a principality so much? The Principality of Piddington WTF? Who is their prince? btw. the piddin in Piddington sounds just like PIDYN, which is the Welsh word for penis. 110
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 15/09/2026I bet seals and sea eels are like "here's your post. Happy birthday btw" 131
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 15/09/2026"It's not AI, guys. Calm down. It's not going to kill you. It's just the evil masterminds that will destroy the planet. Calm your tits" Does it sound a bit like "Guns don't kill you, people do" to anyone else? 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 08/09/2026Also, apparently they're not getting bigger. It's only their legs that are getting bigger. But I'm pretty spider legs are the freaky bits, no? 100
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Being kind to spiders is a bit like eating your least favourite vegetable I'd probably be more respectful of courgettes if I learnt they get stuck in my bathtub because they're thirsty 020
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 06/09/2026I would say the return of maximalist interior design was a Big Spider™️ Psyop, but I'm Welsh, so it's obviously a Prycop 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Maximalist interiors are trendy right now and British house spiders are getting bigger. Coincidence? 110
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 16/08/2026I've just eaten a meal I made with sliced courgettes (zucchini) and I need you to be incredibly proud of me because I ate it all and it wasn't disguised in bacon. The trick is to eat one slice at a time. Quickly. 020
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 14/08/2026This era of #totp smells like black chipboard furniture 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 14/08/2026"Omg did you just get an emergency alert?" "Huh? No. Hang on, I'm on 13%. Let me just plug it in so I can experience the full force of it. What did it say?" "I dunno, it vanished" "Huh weird, maybe it's about the WTF IS THAT SHUT UP OMG FUCK OFF PRESS OK PRESS OK" "what did it say?" "Dunno" 0114
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 11/08/2026I'd like you all to know that the reason the weather is looking promising for the eclipse tomorrow is because I didn't buy the special protective glasses a month ago. 020
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 07/08/2026Someone just farted (not me!) and it sounded like a new game of 3D Pinball Space Cadet 040
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 14/07/2026Someone farted (not me) and it sounded like the first note of Mambo No. 5 030
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 11/07/2026Ugh, just realised if I want to see the sun in the sky around 6pm, i'll need to walk up and around a hill that's in the way. Can't be arsed now tbh 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 11/07/2026We're going to get a decent partial solar eclipse (in the UK) on August 12th starting from a bit after 6pm *if the weather is nice* Please let the weather be nice 🙏 🤞 But also, it going dark during the day isn't that crazy when you live in Wales or you like taking naps. 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 07/07/2026The new Rolling Stones sounds like it was sung by Horrible Histories 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 03/07/2026Madison Square Garden is neither square shaped nor garden shaped and if you're reading something about the arena, MSG doesn't mean Monosodium glutamate or Marjorie Sailor Greene. Just some helpful tips. 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 29/06/2026Told my dog that next time we'll swap, and I'll let her apply the spot on treatment to the back of my neck 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 25/06/2026I don't know how it works but put something cold under your ankles tonight when you go to sleep. Worked like magic last night 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 24/06/2026Is "Baby long legs" the correct term for a Daddy long legs that's just a baby? 220
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 24/06/2026Emptied the dishwasher and there was a baby daddy longlegs in one of the mugs!?!? 420
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 24/06/2026Ychafi. The sun's already burning off the mist and now it's back to minging air-soup. For a brief moment between 5am and 8am it was fresh, and the mist was rolling in through the door. 😔 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 17/06/2026If a director ever said to me "hey kid, you wanna see a movie being made?" I'd walk over and try to look through the bits under the pink arrows. 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 17/06/2026Who wouldn't want a cold, wet doggy nose boop in the eye? 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 16/06/2026If dogs wore lipstick, would they wear it on their nose? 000
Reposted by LoraporaIcarus 🎃 Dumpsterfire @pluperfectidiot.bsky.social · 16/06/2026Wearing a rotisserie chicken on my hand like a sock puppet 36823
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 15/06/2026I got The Thinker! (Thin-K) I'm bored, do it too! Tell me what you got. Or don't. I don't care. sbti-test.com/en/sbti-test.comSBTI Test — Free Personality Test | 15 Dimensions · 27 TypesFree SBTI personality test — more precise than MBTI. 15 psychological dimensions, 27 personality types, 30 questions. No sign-up, instant results. 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Just had a lovely moment with my cat. Then he showed me his bum worm 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 04/06/2026You know *all this* is just a distraction from the existence of Flash Mobs in the mid 2000's 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 02/06/2026The yellow toffee fingers from Quality Street and the skinny yellow Stickle Bricks are not related but they do exist in the same universe. 020
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 02/06/2026I've done that thing again where I've had an epiphany about something but I can't remember what it was about or if it was even real. Did I dream it? 000
Reposted by Loraporaweeder @weeder.bsky.social · 27/05/2026Irish Talking Heads cover band Seamus It Ever Was 431418264
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 27/05/2026If everyone rubs a balloon on some fabric at the same time will it do anything? I need a thunderstorm! 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 16/05/2026My knock-off Roomba once ventured under the bath and when it returned it was never the same again. It sounded sad. Should I make my dog watch the Poltergeist film? 020
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 16/05/2026I accidentally threw my dog's tennis ball under the bath (it has no side panels and is supported by wooden planks) and it vanished into a new portal. I've given her a new tennis ball, but she wants the one that's no longer in this dimension. What do I do? 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 14/05/2026You know what's mildly annoying? You think your headphones are off, so you switch them on, but they were actually on and you've just switched them off! You have to wait through the bingbongbing switch-off sound and wait a few seconds before you can switch them on. "Battery low" Ah fuck off! 020
Reposted by LoraporaFrank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 05/05/2026Mosquitoes use a numbing agent so we feel no pain from their bites. This is the simplest way to distinguish a mosquito bite from a shark bite. 211639
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 12/05/2026They've got e-scooters in Liverpool and you'll see two or three of them discarded in a pile in random places like someone spilled their inventory when they died out of the game. 040
