Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I hope I get the Mnemonic Plague so I remember everything 020
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 06/10/2026If it's the Bubonic Plague, I hope the english call it "Booby P" 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Unicorns make total sense, because cars have horns, so horses should have them too. 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 16/09/2026And Ton would be Pen, which in Welsh can also mean head. 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Why do the English love a principality so much? The Principality of Piddington WTF? Who is their prince? btw. the piddin in Piddington sounds just like PIDYN, which is the Welsh word for penis. 110
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 15/09/2026I bet seals and sea eels are like "here's your post. Happy birthday btw" 131
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 15/09/2026"It's not AI, guys. Calm down. It's not going to kill you. It's just the evil masterminds that will destroy the planet. Calm your tits" Does it sound a bit like "Guns don't kill you, people do" to anyone else? 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 08/09/2026I meant *pretty sure* but i'll take the compliment. Thanks, me! 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 08/09/2026Also, apparently they're not getting bigger. It's only their legs that are getting bigger. But I'm pretty spider legs are the freaky bits, no? 100
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 08/09/2026I'm pro spider but need to work on when they're actually on me (i turn inside out!), and my soul needs maximilism but my brain needs minimalism to function. I do not function. It's like a Big Light ON/Big Light OFF paradox 011
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Being kind to spiders is a bit like eating your least favourite vegetable I'd probably be more respectful of courgettes if I learnt they get stuck in my bathtub because they're thirsty 020
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 06/09/2026I would say the return of maximalist interior design was a Big Spider™️ Psyop, but I'm Welsh, so it's obviously a Prycop 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Maximalist interiors are trendy right now and British house spiders are getting bigger. Coincidence? 110
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 16/08/2026I've just eaten a meal I made with sliced courgettes (zucchini) and I need you to be incredibly proud of me because I ate it all and it wasn't disguised in bacon. The trick is to eat one slice at a time. Quickly. 020
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 14/08/2026This era of #totp smells like black chipboard furniture 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 14/08/2026I'm bilingual so I shat myself in two different languages 031
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 14/08/2026I was given a 30 second heads up and still lost all composure 110
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 14/08/2026"Omg did you just get an emergency alert?" "Huh? No. Hang on, I'm on 13%. Let me just plug it in so I can experience the full force of it. What did it say?" "I dunno, it vanished" "Huh weird, maybe it's about the WTF IS THAT SHUT UP OMG FUCK OFF PRESS OK PRESS OK" "what did it say?" "Dunno" 0114
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Remember these spoons!? Don't use these for beans. Otherwise, any spoons will do so long as it fits in your mouth comfortably. 110
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 14/08/2026We should get paid by companies to have their adverts on big squares that pop up like umbrellas do, so when we see a Spec Bro in the wild, the advert pops up and hides us. Then they have to press the X to remove the advert, but it's a trick and it electrocutes them. 140
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Tell your friend that the proper way to eat beans is however is easiest for them, so long as it's not done with a fork as first choice. I'd eat beans with a lollypop stick before I'd use a fork tbh. I'll only allow a fork for beans if the beans are eaten 4 at a time with a bean on each spike. 110
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 11/08/2026I'd like you all to know that the reason the weather is looking promising for the eclipse tomorrow is because I didn't buy the special protective glasses a month ago. 020
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 07/08/2026Someone just farted (not me!) and it sounded like a new game of 3D Pinball Space Cadet 040
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 16/07/2026Exactly! They'll keep adding bits on like "oh, if you're going down that isle could you pop these bags of sugar on the shelf while you're down there? Thanks, champ!" and next you know you're having to work an unpaid shift to claim your clubcard vouchers! 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 16/07/2026If your self service checkout knows my whisper caused an unexpected issue in the bagging area, you can install shelves that weigh the goods so you know when they're getting empty. You don't need robots, ya big freaks! 210
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 14/07/2026Someone farted (not me) and it sounded like the first note of Mambo No. 5 030
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 11/07/2026Ugh, just realised if I want to see the sun in the sky around 6pm, i'll need to walk up and around a hill that's in the way. Can't be arsed now tbh 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 11/07/2026We're going to get a decent partial solar eclipse (in the UK) on August 12th starting from a bit after 6pm *if the weather is nice* Please let the weather be nice 🙏 🤞 But also, it going dark during the day isn't that crazy when you live in Wales or you like taking naps. 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 10/07/2026And they insist on hugging but give the shittest hugs! 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 07/07/2026The new Rolling Stones sounds like it was sung by Horrible Histories 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 03/07/2026Madison Square Garden is neither square shaped nor garden shaped and if you're reading something about the arena, MSG doesn't mean Monosodium glutamate or Marjorie Sailor Greene. Just some helpful tips. 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 29/06/2026Told my dog that next time we'll swap, and I'll let her apply the spot on treatment to the back of my neck 010
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 25/06/2026It did! Just takes heavy ice on the flimsy power cables and then everything goes down. Then they get called hysterical for over reacting, yet if they don't prepare and it's reeeeally bad they're also at fault. Their power cables are like our train tracks. 110
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 25/06/2026I saw an article about the Stonehenge alter stone having travelled 600 miles and people were wondering how it was done back then, and an American commented that 600 miles is a short distance for them! 3110
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 25/06/2026I don't know how it works but put something cold under your ankles tonight when you go to sleep. Worked like magic last night 000
Lorapora @lorapora.bsky.social · 24/06/2026Is "Baby long legs" the correct term for a Daddy long legs that's just a baby? 220
