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The Unsettling Spider-Liam

@liamkav.bsky.social
338 followers 608 following 648 posts

Screenwriter, columnist and all-round word-monkey FOR HIRE. BIG TREE CITY on Netflix, MYA GO on Amazon. Opinions not my own. They've been scrounged from other peoples' dustbins.

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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 5h
My new Music retrospective launches THIS HALLOWEEN, so I'm dropping some terrifying, mind-bending clues about the artist I'm covering using the only thing scarier than a Ouija board...the EMOJI BOARD. COMMENT with what SONG you think the emojis describe! 💃🦯 Look out for the next clue tomorrow!
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Kelly Brack @kellybrack.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Another Columbo piece on the go. Trying to fit it in between things
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Someone hire me to write my Batman/Columbo crossover please. I don't big myself up much but it's soooooo good!
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
This is wild.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
PROBABLE CLAUS An argument over the last Christmas tree lands two lonely, stressed single parents in a mall security room, where their precocious kids enlist a down-on-his-luck mall Santa (who may actually be the real deal) to show their parents they belong together. #SCREENPIT
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
LOCKED IN A kidnap victim, trapped in a high-security building, must escape his captors with help from a security guard who’s just as trapped as he is. DIE HARD meets PANIC ROOM 2017 Austin Film Festival Semifialist #screenpit
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
GUNDEAD A black-ops mercenary sets out to avenge the death of his husband by a twisted scientist by turning himself into a zombie with the scientist’s gene-altering serum. JOHN WICK meets 28 DAYS LATER #screenpit
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Wasn't this the plot for HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH?
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Give it to me baby! (Cancer vaccines) Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
New Trainwreckord! An absolutely doomed attempt by MC Hammer to 'get hard' in the wake of gangsta rap's rise. Pumps and a Bump is a banger, though.
The CD of MC Hammer's album The Funky Headhunter. Go listen to Pumps and a Bump if you like booty anthems.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Actual conversation I heard in Penneys today. 2 lads looking at a Chucky t-shirt on the rack: First Lad: I think I'll get that shirt. Second Lad: Didn't think you liked Chucky. First Lad: Yeah I love Chucky. Chucky àr là.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Saw this in a Facebook filmmaking group and I have QUESTIONS. 🧵
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
New Trainwreckord for the collection. The cover is every bit as 'knock-off T-shirt' looking as @shadowtodd.bsky.social describes.
The Clash album CUT THE CRAP. Featured on Todd in the Shadows' TRAINWRECKORDS series. Which you should watch if you haven't already.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Morrissey singing his classic tune, 'Teat is Murder.'
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
No Rachel! Theu said you have to EARN your way to success! E-A-r-n!
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
It's shocking how much this happens. I'm an absolute nobody, and yet I've had numerous encouters with people basically saying 'write my idea and get it made, I'm in charge, it's a collaboration.'
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
I wouldn't give my penis a name. But if I did...
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
SPIDER-NOIR wasn't quite what I wanted from the concept, but the story picks up greatly in the back half, the b&w visuals are pretty, and the performances by Lamorne Morris and of course Nicolas Cage carry it to being a fun, interesting and all-round good time.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
grammar was more important in the days of you’re
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Philomena Cunk On...the wall at the Musèe d'Orsay.
A statue remnant on display in the Parisien museum that looks like Diane Morgan. Or I think she does, but I've been wrong before.
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Charlie Stickney/ White Ash Comics @charliestickney.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Who's looking for comic cover work? I'm going to be hiring a bunch of people in 2027 and would love to expand my list of human artists. Please include samples and/or a link to your portfolio. NO AI or bots using other people's work please
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Finally found a clothes shop that caters to my specific style:
A clothes shop sign that says

MAN
BOY

It's me. I'm the man-boy.
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DD Ward ..."Interim Pirate Queen" @ddwardiswriting.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
its so scary to put yourself out there but a SINGLE message saying "hi i loved what you made it touched me in some way" makes it all worth it 10000% 

daily reminder that if you like something someone made tell! them! tell them tell them tell them TELL THEM
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honey i am a guy & i shrunk the kids @snowrespecter.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
did you know the two occupants of a pantomime horse cannot legally be compelled to testify against each other
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Poor James Somerton...he had to do analogue ChatGPT to make his money.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Pat Mustard signs up to Tinder:
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
What can I say? I'm a sucker for serendipity.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Who needs an afterlife when you're this kind of legend? #RIPTimCurry youtu.be/g1Sq1Nr58hM?...
youtu.be
Tim Curry is escaping to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism.
YouTube video by geoff EXE
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Give me and @devindoyle.bsky.social comedy jobs, morons!
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
@seannorthridge.bsky.social @jimmysavage.bsky.social and I are in Nano Jams and now you can get us so CHEEEEEAP!
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TrickyC (he/him) @trickyc66.northsky.social · 17/08/2026
Dracula S O T N What's A Dildo...? It's Something That Will Give You Pleasure, From The Front And From The Back Install It To A Table And Spread Your Legs And Cum Enjoy A Big Long Dildo That Jumps Out At You, Boingggg!
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Preeti Chhibber @runwithskizzers.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
in general everyone on the planet needs to get comfortable just not reading something they don't want to read instead of trying to get it fucking banned like huge, pathetic losers.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
If The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen had succeeded, the Asylum would have had this out a month later.
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Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
imo movies should only contain sex scenes if they further the plot
A comic showing two adventurers trying to enter a sealed vault. As they look for a way in one of them notices a symbol on the door depicting two people banging. “Could it be that simple?” he muses. And it turns out it is. Having sex in front of the tomb door unseals it, and reveals the treasure inside.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Lots of great picks here, but I want to highlight Lexi Alexander (still my favourite Punisher film), Craig R. Baxley (For Action Jackson and The A-Tea) and Albert Pyun (for making Nemesis with chewing gum and baling twine).
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
New #Trainwreckord! If there's ever a shortage of career ending disaster records don't worry. I've got Supply-eye-eyessss...
CD of Justin Timberlake's MAN OF THE WOODS as covered by Todd in the Shadows on his TRAINWRECKORDS YouTube show.
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furry hater #votesolomon @furry-hater.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
threads post with the poster's name sadly removed with the text: "You asked ai. Gross.I asked my neurodivergent friends online, and they are more accurate and use way less water. Mostly because they forget to drink it."
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Noah Evslin @nevslin.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Here’s the trick to selling a TV series pitch. All you need to do is have the: Perfect idea And pitch it to The perfect producers And perfect studio And perfect network With the perfect mandate At the perfect time Who think you’re the perfect writer With the perfect credits At the perfect price
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
These Guns N' Roses socks were made in China and removed to Ireland. So we are looking at Chinese DeSOCKracy.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
🎵Do you ever feel Like a plastic bottle That no one's rolling? The walls are closing in🎵
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
My latest Trainwreckords acquisition from one of my favourite @shadowtodd.bsky.social videos of the series. Speech bleating 'but ya had an ABORRRTION!' lives rent free in my head.
The Arrested Development album ZINGALAMADUNI. Bought because of the excellent YouTube series TRAINWRECKORDS.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
I don't know if EBENEZER is an origin story, but all the Johnny Depps in the world won't do it better than BLACKADDER did nearly 40 years ago.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Spaceballs have SWOLLEN!
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Roasting alive in this warm weather? Why not cool your cooking brain with a murder mystery that takes place in a giant supermarket freezer? For less than the price of a Cornetto? FREEZER BURN is available for Kindle now! www.amazon.co.uk/Freezer-Burn...
amazon.co.uk
Freezer Burn
Freezer Burn eBook : Kavanagh, Liam: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Roasting alive in this warm weather? Why not cool your cooking brain with a murder mystery that takes place in a giant supermarket freezer? For less than the price of a Cornetto? FREEZER BURN is available for Kindle NOW! www.amazon.com/Freezer-Burn...
amazon.com
Amazon.com
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Andrew Tate and his brother look like they're in a shitty 90s comedy where the one actor plays both twins. So...
A 90s shitty comedy style movie poster with a stock image of the Tates. 

Tagline: THERE'S ONE IN EVERY FAMILY.

SO THIS FAMILY MUST HAVE TOOK A SHIT IN GOD'S CEREAL.

JOHNNY LOSER and JOHNNY LOSER

is

TWIN CUNTS

Reviews for TWIN CUNTS

"Someone should be arrested for this creation" - Bluesky

'I would rather fuck a pine cone than watch this" - Me

"Wankers" - Everybody

"MOVIE OF THE YEAR" - Woody Allen
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
I also get a lot of ads for vibrators.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
I am constantly getting perimenopause content on my Facebook feed. No idea what I'm posting/doing/thinking that's pulling this from the algorithm.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Metallica haven't been good since Phil Towel left.
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The Unsettling Spider-Liam @liamkav.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
'Dipshit' implies that there are 'chipsshits' to go with it.
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