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kyle t.

@kylethiessen.bsky.social
72 followers 144 following 125 posts

Author of the unwritten memoir "How to Squander Your Potential in 40 Short Years" and its follow up "Wait No Make That 49"

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Reposted by kyle t.
Mr Dr Bae @dallas-taylor.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Looking for people to feel better than is no way to go through life, y'all
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I wonder if every living person in every single airport everywhere at all times has any idea how slow they're walking
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
I'm married to someone who thinks video games are stupid, that I spend too much time playing them, and that GTA 6 coming out on her birthday is a personal insult. She's probably right about all of it. But boy am I glad to not be stuck with one of these insufferable narcissists
ign.com
'Don't Let Your Husband Play GTA 6' — Angry Spouses Are Threatening to Break Up With Their Partners If They Play GTA 6
A bunch of angry spouses on social media believe that Grand Theft Auto 6's in-depth relationship mechanic is equivalent to cheating on your real life partner and worth breaking up over.
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Reposted by kyle t.
Eden Robins @edenrobins.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Yooooooo my new silly murder mystery, DON'T CROSS MO ELLERY, is an instant USA TODAY Bestseller??!!?? Is this real life?? Not too late to jump on the buying-this-book bandwagon! bookshop.org/a/127432/978...
A graphic that talks about the silly murder mystery novel DON'T CROSS MO ELLERY and how it is a USA TODAY bestseller, as of August 19th.
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
And now everyone who reads People Magazine knows my peeing habits. I just knew, if I married the right person and was pure of heart, it would happen someday! (also there's a new book on the shelves)
people.com
Two Former Enemies Wrote a Murder Mystery Together — And No One Died (Exclusive)
Authors and ‘former enemies’ Eden Robins and MW Garguilo formed an unlikely alliance as a writing team. The authors will publish their debut co-written novel, ‘Don’t Cross Mo Ellery,’ on Aug. 11, unde...
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
Marjane Satrapi 1969-2026 Obviously we are required to talk about the majesty of Persepolis, but after that, The Voices is an unsung gem that I absolutely adore - a movie so precisely aligned with my sensibility it felt like I directed it in another universe (but not as well as this). RIP
youtu.be
The Voices Official Trailer #1 (2015) - Anna Kendrick, Ryan Reynolds Movie HD
YouTube video by Rotten Tomatoes Trailers
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
youtu.be
Porno For Pyros - Pets (Official Video)
YouTube video by PornoForPyros
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Except the people who would actually want one of these don't travel to other countries
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
Pure joy 💔
media.tenor.com
a man and a woman standing next to each other with a caption that says i will go insane and i will take you
Alt: Catherine O'Hara screaming that she will go insane and she will take you with her
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
Last day of open seating, a feature I truly enjoyed. Today I scored the jackpot: "super" legroom and an empty middle, or what you might call Southwest's "Business Class."
A view from the exit row of a commercial airliner where I am channeling my inner Wilt Chamberlain (by stretching my long legs, not sleeping with 20,000 women)
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 21/12/2025
Ooh I love "prompt stealer" it's like two insults at once
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
I have never been ashamed to say I've always liked this movie.
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Reposted by kyle t.
Merriam-Webster @merriam-webster.com · 07/12/2025
die-hard | adjective | strongly or fanatically determined or devoted Die Hard | noun | a Christmas movie
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 07/10/2025
I don't know who this "Birdie Horne" is but she sounds very talented and attractive and like she knows a lot about being a crossing guard
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 21/07/2025
I was previously unaware that Hunter Biden is exactly how I need to start every day
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Reposted by kyle t.
Eden Robins @edenrobins.bsky.social · 18/06/2025
Cannot tell you how unbelievable it feels to be on this shortlist, and in holy cow such amazing company!!!
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
If you never give up the dream, and are pure of heart, it can happen for you too Wordle 1,456 1/6* 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 24/05/2025
If your caption is "I'm going to let this image speak for itself" then you have failed to do so (Don't forget alt text btw)
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 20/05/2025
Time to get a fake ID www.statnews.com/2025/05/20/f...
statnews.com
FDA will limit Covid vaccines to people over 65 or at high risk of serious illness, leaders say
The FDA announced it will limit access to Covid-19 vaccines going forward to people 65 and older and others at high risk of serious illness
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Reposted by kyle t.
Memento (artemis) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
Hi 👋 I work in the ICU and often help patients find comfort in their final, dying moments and this is some king shit right here and I say he's innocent
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
Another astute thread by Sean, who I regularly lament does not live near me, because I'd be buying him a drink every time he posted something great, and he would be fucking wasted all the time
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
Wisdom right here
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 18/04/2025
Just wrote this in the parking lot after seeing it. Drive three hours to a furniture store if you can. boxd.it/9rKnwL
boxd.it
A ★★★★½ review of Sinners (2025)
On a whim this morning I decided to explore my options for seeing Sinners on a proper IMAX screen today, and both of my options were a three-hour drive away: to the south, in New York City, Lincoln Sq...
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 06/04/2025
media.tenor.com
a man in a cowboy hat is playing with a hula hoop on a dirt road .
Alt: An olde timey kid whacking a hoop down a dirt road, and that olde timey kid represents me as I happen to be very very old.
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 02/04/2025
None of the obits will mention his best movie
youtube.com
Top Secret! (8/9) Movie CLIP - Underwater Barfight (1984) HD
YouTube video by Movieclips
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 12/03/2025
This is a scene of me, in the world, right now
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 07/03/2025
Glorious thread
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 03/03/2025
Can't guarantee I'll post here much, but it exists
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 13/02/2025
Sometimes I see a drawing and I'm mad I didn't do it
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 31/01/2025
More billionaires like this please. Also, less billionaires please
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
I have not a single follower who isn't already aware of the trembling, pants-shitting enthusiasm I have for this book and the totally random woman who wrote it. But this review of said book is a fittingly inventive tribute. Wipe your butts when you're done
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
May his memory endure on our biggest screens
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 12/01/2025
Song idea: "You've got cancer of the heart, baby / You need some love-chemotherapy." Needs work, I know
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 28/12/2024
Couldn't agree more, and for every one of those same reasons, I'm going all in on REMEMBER YOU WILL DIE by E. Robins
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
Show me a picture on your phone that has your energy that isn't a selfie.
Bruce Willis looking concerned and/or perplexed about something while wearing a pink bunny suit
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
This person deserves sainthood
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 10/11/2024
Flavor Flav has been on Bsky for a day and has already compelled me to follow him
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 29/08/2024
I recently saw The Wicker Man (1973) for the first time as well. Hard to tell if it's creepily sensual or sensually creepy. It doesn't make a *ton* of sense, and it's very, very Scottish. It's like watching a Donovan album
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 08/08/2024
Endlessly disappointed there's no Kinzie Street Festival this weekend. Brown drinks on special
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 18/07/2024
Goodreads in a nutshell
A goodreads book review in which the reader essentially admits "I ignored half of it"
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Reposted by kyle t.
kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 15/07/2024
I mostly slept through Sunday school, but also
Revelation 13:3. One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was filled with wonder and followed the beast
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 15/07/2024
I have friends who were born in the 90s. I tried to explain this to them and they were convinced I was messing with them. I insisted that if I were messing with them it wouldn't sound made up
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 22/06/2024
In Feb 2005, the AFI theater in Silver Spring MD hosted a month-long Cronenberg retrospective. "Crash" landed on Valentine's Day, so I took my new girlfriend. But the new "Crash" had just been nominated for Best Picture, and was consequently re-released in theaters at the same time. Hilarity ensued
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 07/06/2024
Tech companies and apps touting AI as a selling point is like a waiter committing your order to memory: all it does is make everyone at the table nervous and the only one who's impressed is the fucking waiter
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 31/05/2024
Just unearthed this screen capture I took in 2017 illustrating that google worked just fine without AI
A google search field containing the phrase "sam blam boom wah song" and yielding results in French that I can't spell even while looking at it
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 31/05/2024
Pizza is like sex in that Detroit style is kinda gross
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 12/05/2024
Not an overstatement
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 08/05/2024
If he's willing to admit that a worm has been eating his brain, just imagine the fish that's been eating his dick he's not talking about
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 21/02/2024
Me at 9:30am: "Eh, it's only nine thirty" Me at 10am: "Oh shit it's already ten"
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kyle t. @kylethiessen.bsky.social · 15/02/2024
Just a friendly PSA: if parking spaces are scarce - whether it's in a lot or on the street - and you're sitting in your car with the engine running while looking at your phone or whatever when everyone else is looking for a spot, that's actually totally okay! But also I will end your life
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