Sign in

Kristen Arnett

@kristenarnett.bsky.social
21K followers 478 following 1.1K posts

“Orlando's Reigning Big Time Celebrity Author” - The Orlando Weekly huuuuge lesbian. librarian. dad. floridian. beer drinker. NYT Bestselling author. Mostly Dead Things & WITH TEETH & STOP ME IF YOU’VE HEARD THIS ONE www.kristenarnettwriter.com

PostsRepliesMedia
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
this meeting could have benihana
2432
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
i just want you to know i would NEVER beat a horse, dead or alive
2210
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Saying "grino me" and catching an ice cold San Pellegrino
1639740
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
did a virtual launch event for TACKY with @kristenarnett.bsky.social so we were on zoom cussing up a storm bc, you know, it's ME AND KRISTEN ARNETT, and someone pipes up in the chat 'ladies the 4-letter words are a turn-off, thanks but no thanks.' and i have thought about it about once a week since
51586
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
Lit Hub @literaryhub.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Am I the asshole for wanting to switch writers’ groups? @kristenarnett.bsky.social answers this and more of your questions.
buff.ly
Am I the Asshole For Wanting to Switch Writers’ Groups?
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Am I the Literary Asshole?, an advice column that wants to be more than friends. I’m your host, Kristen Arnett, and I’m currently trying to figure out how to talk my…
0112
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
Justin Taylor @justintaylor.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
tried this yesterday and it works
1241
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
sometimes all it takes to fix your life is a fresh piping hot basket of chicken tenders
2342
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
Hannah Grieco @writesloud.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Happy pub day to @samanthapaigerosen.bsky.social and @kristenarnett.bsky.social and @escoffery.bsky.social and all the rest of us in this wonderful book. Thrilled to have an essay in here! tinyurl.com/2cbyrx6k
tinyurl.com
Living, Together: Reimagining Community in the Age of Disconnection
Reimagining Community in the Age of Disconnection
082
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
[me watching someone kiss a frog] you are not respecting that frogs boundaries
0210
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
gonna start muttering “great northern bean!” every time something mystifies or astounds me
1432
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
No Context Achewood @achewoodnc.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
118250
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
kelsie @kelsie.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
We had a really mean python at work and I gave him back to his owner and was like “he was trying to kill me” and his owner said “well, he only has so many ways to interact with the world. All he has is a face” and it Moved Me
274500903
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
“celebrate good times, come on,” she threatened
31568
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
a little less ai and a lot more ayyyy i’m walkin here
1947
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
listen, i’m not gonna apologize for party rocking. i’m in charge of my own life, i’ll live however i damn well please
0190
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
"max" @ringworm.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
they don't make glasses for dogs. presumably because it'd be comical, or because it might remind people of some uncomfortable truths. but there's gotta be some dogs who need em
610011
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
why art thou like this
1170
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
yes this did make me cry, yes i did send in a video of myself accepting this prize with my phone wedged between two boxed wines, yes i feel deeply loved, and yes it is humbling to share this experience and great honor with the first ever recipient of this prize, my hero, my star, dorothy allison
7571
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
let’s make this hollywood a hollyhome
0120
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
farner @farnerb0cken.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
buffalo wild wings is buffalo normal wings to a fucking freak like me
121524288
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
i can’t believe i’m saying this, but a 6am flight is top tier. the people watching is next level and half the plane is empty because no one wants to get up and/or they slept through their alarm
3550
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
started a thing where i teach my cat a new word while simultaneously tipping my hat to him; today’s word is “cornichon”
0391
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
my wife has started calling my low pony “colonitail” because she says it makes me look like a founding father
0340
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
every month is gay pride month because i am living in it
1497
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
anyone can be “girl” if you include a quick “fuck you” immediately after
0393
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
[going in for a vision test, the doctor peering into my eyes with a light, then scribbling something on their clipboard] bro you can’t see SHIT
1230
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
if a dog looks at me weird it will ruin the rest of my day, like what the hell man. what kind of evil secretly lurks inside of me that made that happen
0343
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
not all that interested in visiting planet fitness but i could be persuaded to try out other spots in the galaxy, such as planet naptime or planet two-for-one margaritas
1342
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
Lit Hub @literaryhub.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
What does it say about you if you think most writers are bad? @kristenarnett.bsky.social has some answers.
buff.ly
Am I the Literary Asshole For Thinking Most Writers Are Trash, Actually?
Well, hello there! Welcome back to another intriguing installment of everyone’s favorite drunken advice column, Am I the Literary Asshole? Yes, you heard right: this is the place where all your dre…
2152
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
[liza minnelli voice] sorry for party rocking
1504
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
happy hour, happier hour, happiest hour
0140
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
you are never alone. for instance, there are a lot of ghosts
17519
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
florida book awards!!!!!! i love florida so much and all my writing is florida writing so winning this makes me feel crazy haha am i crying at the bar maybe who can say
111701
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
[david attenborough voice] A little bit of Monica in my life A little bit of Erica by my side A little bit of Rita's all I need A little bit of Tina's what I see
0302
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
that doesn’t sound very panera mix and match menu of you
1161
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
the hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 01/05/2023
mcdonald's manager: show the new guy the ropes me: yeah no prob *opens drawer* we use them to restrain grimace
212198510
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
in order to properly defend your thesis, you must first secure your fort and make sure that your artillery is amply stocked; next, ready the troops for battle
0251
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
the coolest most fun thing you could ever do is respect your beautiful wife
0392
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
passed a jeep wrangler on the road with a license plate that read PH JEEPS, which rules
050
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
you can drink a gatorade AND a beer in the shower, hydration station, no one’s stopping you
2321
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
Rachel H @therachel.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
Only Loose Purse Candy has that real purse flavor!
2256
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
Chen Chen @chenchenwrites.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
the essay is “Dear Friends” by Mary Ruefle. highly recommend it.
0422
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
what if my “healing journey” involves consuming an entire twelve pack of beer
3301
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
Lit Hub @literaryhub.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
Am I the asshole for not wanting to do an author photo for my debut novel? @kristenarnett.bsky.social answers your questions.
buff.ly
Am I the Asshole For Not Wanting to Do an Author Photo For My Debut Novel?
Hello, it’s great to see you! Welcome back to another joyous installment of Am I the Literary Asshole?, an advice column that’s so full of beer that it should technically be called a keg (or a ravi…
2152
Reposted by Kristen Arnett
Joshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com · 07/04/2026
I'm excited about Ravenous, a brand-new worker-owned food culture media org with beloved contributors like @jayasaxena.com! Subscribe!
14510
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
[longest, deepest breath in the entire world] i’m at juuuuuuuury duuuuuuuuty
3540
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
maybe our lord and savior arose from the grave on the third day because he really wanted to crack open a cold one with the boys
2513
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
i’m about to animorph into a periodical cicada so i can sleep for 17 years and then just wake up and scream and die
1908