Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 11/08/2026i just want you to know i would NEVER beat a horse, dead or alive 2210
Reposted by Kristen Arnettweeder @weeder.bsky.social · 26/07/2026Saying "grino me" and catching an ice cold San Pellegrino 1639740
Reposted by Kristen Arnettrax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 09/08/2026did a virtual launch event for TACKY with @kristenarnett.bsky.social so we were on zoom cussing up a storm bc, you know, it's ME AND KRISTEN ARNETT, and someone pipes up in the chat 'ladies the 4-letter words are a turn-off, thanks but no thanks.' and i have thought about it about once a week since 51586
Reposted by Kristen ArnettLit Hub @literaryhub.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Am I the asshole for wanting to switch writers’ groups? @kristenarnett.bsky.social answers this and more of your questions.buff.lyAm I the Asshole For Wanting to Switch Writers’ Groups?Hello everyone! Welcome back to Am I the Literary Asshole?, an advice column that wants to be more than friends. I’m your host, Kristen Arnett, and I’m currently trying to figure out how to talk my… 0112
Reposted by Kristen ArnettJustin Taylor @justintaylor.bsky.social · 18/07/2026tried this yesterday and it works 1241
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 18/07/2026sometimes all it takes to fix your life is a fresh piping hot basket of chicken tenders 2342
Reposted by Kristen ArnettHannah Grieco @writesloud.bsky.social · 14/07/2026Happy pub day to @samanthapaigerosen.bsky.social and @kristenarnett.bsky.social and @escoffery.bsky.social and all the rest of us in this wonderful book. Thrilled to have an essay in here! tinyurl.com/2cbyrx6ktinyurl.comLiving, Together: Reimagining Community in the Age of DisconnectionReimagining Community in the Age of Disconnection 082
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 09/07/2026[me watching someone kiss a frog] you are not respecting that frogs boundaries 0210
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 07/07/2026gonna start muttering “great northern bean!” every time something mystifies or astounds me 1432
Reposted by Kristen Arnettkelsie @kelsie.bsky.social · 01/07/2026We had a really mean python at work and I gave him back to his owner and was like “he was trying to kill me” and his owner said “well, he only has so many ways to interact with the world. All he has is a face” and it Moved Me 274500903
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 02/07/2026“celebrate good times, come on,” she threatened 31568
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 30/06/2026a little less ai and a lot more ayyyy i’m walkin here 1947
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 24/06/2026listen, i’m not gonna apologize for party rocking. i’m in charge of my own life, i’ll live however i damn well please 0190
Reposted by Kristen Arnett"max" @ringworm.bsky.social · 14/06/2026they don't make glasses for dogs. presumably because it'd be comical, or because it might remind people of some uncomfortable truths. but there's gotta be some dogs who need em 610011
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 12/06/2026yes this did make me cry, yes i did send in a video of myself accepting this prize with my phone wedged between two boxed wines, yes i feel deeply loved, and yes it is humbling to share this experience and great honor with the first ever recipient of this prize, my hero, my star, dorothy allison 7571
Reposted by Kristen Arnettfarner @farnerb0cken.bsky.social · 05/06/2026buffalo wild wings is buffalo normal wings to a fucking freak like me 121524288
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 06/06/2026i can’t believe i’m saying this, but a 6am flight is top tier. the people watching is next level and half the plane is empty because no one wants to get up and/or they slept through their alarm 3550
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 04/06/2026started a thing where i teach my cat a new word while simultaneously tipping my hat to him; today’s word is “cornichon” 0391
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 03/06/2026my wife has started calling my low pony “colonitail” because she says it makes me look like a founding father 0340
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 01/06/2026every month is gay pride month because i am living in it 1497
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 27/05/2026anyone can be “girl” if you include a quick “fuck you” immediately after 0393
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 26/05/2026[going in for a vision test, the doctor peering into my eyes with a light, then scribbling something on their clipboard] bro you can’t see SHIT 1230
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 22/05/2026if a dog looks at me weird it will ruin the rest of my day, like what the hell man. what kind of evil secretly lurks inside of me that made that happen 0343
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 19/05/2026not all that interested in visiting planet fitness but i could be persuaded to try out other spots in the galaxy, such as planet naptime or planet two-for-one margaritas 1342
Reposted by Kristen ArnettLit Hub @literaryhub.bsky.social · 07/05/2026What does it say about you if you think most writers are bad? @kristenarnett.bsky.social has some answers.buff.lyAm I the Literary Asshole For Thinking Most Writers Are Trash, Actually?Well, hello there! Welcome back to another intriguing installment of everyone’s favorite drunken advice column, Am I the Literary Asshole? Yes, you heard right: this is the place where all your dre… 2152
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 07/05/2026[liza minnelli voice] sorry for party rocking 1504
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 30/04/2026you are never alone. for instance, there are a lot of ghosts 17519
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 24/04/2026florida book awards!!!!!! i love florida so much and all my writing is florida writing so winning this makes me feel crazy haha am i crying at the bar maybe who can say 111701
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 23/04/2026[david attenborough voice] A little bit of Monica in my life A little bit of Erica by my side A little bit of Rita's all I need A little bit of Tina's what I see 0302
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 22/04/2026that doesn’t sound very panera mix and match menu of you 1161
Reposted by Kristen Arnettthe hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 01/05/2023mcdonald's manager: show the new guy the ropes me: yeah no prob *opens drawer* we use them to restrain grimace 212198510
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 19/04/2026in order to properly defend your thesis, you must first secure your fort and make sure that your artillery is amply stocked; next, ready the troops for battle 0251
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 18/04/2026the coolest most fun thing you could ever do is respect your beautiful wife 0392
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 12/04/2026passed a jeep wrangler on the road with a license plate that read PH JEEPS, which rules 050
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 11/04/2026you can drink a gatorade AND a beer in the shower, hydration station, no one’s stopping you 2321
Reposted by Kristen ArnettRachel H @therachel.bsky.social · 10/04/2026Only Loose Purse Candy has that real purse flavor! 2256
Reposted by Kristen ArnettChen Chen @chenchenwrites.bsky.social · 10/04/2026the essay is “Dear Friends” by Mary Ruefle. highly recommend it. 0422
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 10/04/2026what if my “healing journey” involves consuming an entire twelve pack of beer 3301
Reposted by Kristen ArnettLit Hub @literaryhub.bsky.social · 09/04/2026Am I the asshole for not wanting to do an author photo for my debut novel? @kristenarnett.bsky.social answers your questions.buff.lyAm I the Asshole For Not Wanting to Do an Author Photo For My Debut Novel?Hello, it’s great to see you! Welcome back to another joyous installment of Am I the Literary Asshole?, an advice column that’s so full of beer that it should technically be called a keg (or a ravi… 2152
Reposted by Kristen ArnettJoshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com · 07/04/2026I'm excited about Ravenous, a brand-new worker-owned food culture media org with beloved contributors like @jayasaxena.com! Subscribe! 14510
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 06/04/2026[longest, deepest breath in the entire world] i’m at juuuuuuuury duuuuuuuuty 3540
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 04/04/2026maybe our lord and savior arose from the grave on the third day because he really wanted to crack open a cold one with the boys 2513
Kristen Arnett @kristenarnett.bsky.social · 04/04/2026i’m about to animorph into a periodical cicada so i can sleep for 17 years and then just wake up and scream and die 1908