iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Also yes "State" not "Stare" but I've been learning more French all day, forgive moi

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Oh that's a HUGE reason we never got into the housing market when we could have.

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Because this is gaining traction: please support our Patreon! Patreon.com/FindChaos We're a queer couple who has just run away to France for so many reasons (my healthcare being a big one) and we could use the support in a new country! 🌈✨🏳️‍⚧️🇫🇷

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Louisa @louisathelast.bsky.social · 9h

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can cobble together a facsimile of a marriage from powers of attorney, etc, and it’s just as good. If it was just as good the straight people would be doing that.

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Louisa @louisathelast.bsky.social · 9h

Yep, that and Medical Power of Attorney/a TON of queer couples could not see/visit/be with/make decisions for each other in hospital care + listing as a survivng spouse, no matter how long they had been together. Obergefell was only two hours away from us in Sandusky and their story was brutal.

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There was a book I used to have (which I wish I hadn’t gotten rid of after Obergefell) called Why You Should Give a Damn About Gay Marriage. It laid out all the ways that federal marriage recognition helps you, and taxes is THE big one.

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Which has been SUPER EASY to deal with in a new country (/sarcasm) and hasn't caused problems for us at all with them being the main Visa holder. (So much sarcasm I am crying)

We couldn't even rent an apartment together. I was the only renter on our last apartment because they didn't allow "unwed couples/roommates" and wouldn't accept our application with our MA marriage certificate (no one would), so @findchaos.bsky.social was basically homeless for 19 years lol.

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It's so breathtaking!! I can't believe there's so much history here that hasn't been bulldozed or made into a theme park! US PTSD lol

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And even WITH THOSE DOCUMENTS, we still had religious hospitals (like the BIGGEST/nearest ones in Ohio) tell us that the documents meant nothing without Federal Rule and we couldn't see one another in the hospital. Fun fact: we lied several times and were 'sisters' in order to get RIGHTS.

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We also had to pay for several documents, wills/MPOA included, that stated we were ALLOWED AT HOSPITALS to see each other -- something that we were literally barred from doing several times, despite being married in MA and showing our marriage certs/giving consent.

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Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 10h

Before we were Federally Married, even though we were married in MA (a Stare we didn't live in), we had to pay 4 TIMES the tax of federally married couples.. We also had to hire an accountant bc NO ONE could figure it out. So unless your Religious Liberties extend to tax rules, you can get fucked.

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back in the pre-marriage equality era I once heard a close friend from church earnestly say to someone “I just can’t understand why gay people want to DESTROY my marriage by redefining the meaning of it” I’ll remember the way she said the word “destroy” until the day I die, because she meant it

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KDotInk @kdotink.bsky.social · 12h

Our view/doggy walk yesterday morning, which is just a relaxing stroll away past a few horse paddocks, a local elementary school and up a nondescript hill.. 💕

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But ONE rental agent in France got back to us, so that's a win (except for the enormous fee she wants, but so do all the agencies -- the fact that it comes during Patreon's switching to subscription-only BS is not great either but here we gooo)

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KDotInk @kdotink.bsky.social · 12h

Autistically, physically and spiritually overwhelmed ✨ 🌈

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crepuscular type guy @thephooka.bsky.social · 14h

Two things can be true: Webtoons is a bad company + paypros and social media are stifling the reach and monetization of queer expression, AND ALSO, nothing is stopping you from making queer comics and putting them online.

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KDotInk @kdotink.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Happy boys. He flopped against me as soon as he hopped onto the pull out bed. My giant teddy bear... 💕

A trans man with a large dog flopped against his head

Another angle of the floppiest of flops of a large dog onto my head

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I have a video I still have to edit but every time I watch it I keep sweating.. We're gonna do great on the cliffs of Normandy!!

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Stiffler @findchaos.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Today we stopped by a spot right in our neighborhood: les tours d'Anne-de-Bretagne. You wouldn't know they're there except for a strange, hilly park with stairs leading up to gravel paths. Climbing to the top, you're rewarded with beautiful ruins, incredible views of the valley, and intense vertigo.

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KDotInk @kdotink.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

The sun rises so late and sets so quickly here!! Big Alaska vibes all over again, except everyone here has discovered Twinkly Lights and uses them liberally.

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Maia Kobabe @redgoldsparks.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Since I wrote this comic, the Senate introduced their own version of HR 7661, also called the “Stop the Sexualization of Children Act” with nearly identical text. Please add NO ON S 4925 to your calls to reps about these federal book ban bills www.congress.gov/bill/119th-c... #bannedbooksweek

congress.gov

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✪ Beware the Gray Ghost ✪ @jongraywb.blacksky.app · 05/10/2026

Eh. Chris Rock has always been garbage and tbh Will Smith shoulda slapped him harder, twice.

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Yeah I'm getting ready to wage war, it can't get colder fast enough!! (luckily the high is 60F in a few days!!)

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Luckily it's just a lot more tunnels and really big pipes haha, maybe a terrified rat or two (,or so I've heard 😉)

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Oh yeah my facial skin has leveled up here just on a cheap moisturizer and face wash. I got the €2.63 Nivea tin and oo la la! It's night and day in the mirror, I actually like my skin tone even when there's an occasional blemish.

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These are 3 day old tiger mosquito bites and they are still somehow itchy. I don't scratch them, they just make puffy huge welts by themselves and scab over. Stiffler had trouble bending their arm for a day because of a softball sized allergic reaction... But at least the pharmacists are so nice!

A trans mans arm with scabs on it and faint scarification outlining

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We also had to ask a pharmacist for anti-itch cream (hydrocortisone and lidocaine) which is wild to me. And we have TIGER MOSQUITOS here in Île-de-France, that we're both apparently allergic to and leave soft ball size bumps sometimes, and welts/scabs all of the time.

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CPAM is great because we only need a Mutuelle (or not, lots of people just pay out of pocket bc an appointment is $15-25 but a Mutuelle is $25 so idk) and everything related to long-term healthcare is covered 100%, including being trans. Getting antacids and pain pills in 5 doses is however silly.

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Cheryl Lynn Eaton @cheryllynneaton.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Okay so far but we're on temporary insurance (Feather for $172/mo for both of us instead of the US asking $2k for each of us that we couldn't afford lol), then we get on CPAM at month 3. I can make an endocrinologist appt. at a kiosk/phone but I need my T rX which my US doc is withholding :/

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Because for that to happen, for two people to sit down at a table to converse, they must recognize the priceless humanity in one another and see the other as an equal. And their whole ideology is wrapped up in seeing my race and my gender as subordinate and subhuman.

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⛤ Noktivus ⛤ @noktivus.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Also yes those are natural finger waves in my bangs -- yes my hair is messy from walking/errands/dog laying on head but I finally have natural ringlets??? Is France doing this? Idk. Also unrelated I've been off T for a month bc my US doctor is horrible so unfortunately my face has softened a bit..

A trans man with a finger in a natural ringlet of hair making a concerned/surprised face

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Coyote doodles

A photo of a sketchbook page featuring two sketches of coyotes done in pencil and pen

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Happy boys. He flopped against me as soon as he hopped onto the pull out bed. My giant teddy bear... 💕

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France is fairy rules because how is it that a quick park trip always takes us 3 hours of walking before we realize we've been walking for 3 hours, and then our bodies are like "omg I'm exhausted!!" Oh well, happy tired dogs that don't need another walk today, so hurrah.

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