Reposted by Jolie No McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 04/04/2026"I know things look bad for me right now, but I'll be back, and when I return I want all the eggs hidden. And I want the eggs to have candy in them. And I want the kids in town to look for the eggs so they can eat the candy. This is all about the kids. Adults can't help them look."buff.lyHi, I’m Jesus, and When I Get Back, I Want All the Eggs HiddenHere’s wishing you a Happy Easter Weekend with this classic from our archives. 4/18/25 4/3/26 115325
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 06/04/2026Earlier this afternoon my husband and I took a nap together. I haven't felt this relaxed in years. Even though we sleep in the same bed together every night, there was something magical about sleeping next to my husband in the middle of the day. #nap #sleepmagic 100
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 20/02/2026I am here to eat burritos and kick ass and I'm all out of burritos. #burrito #sandiego #robertos 000
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 07/02/2026Just saw a Tesla with all the anti-Elon stickers on it, and paper plates (which means it was a new vehicle purchase). If you don't like Elon Musk why did you buy a new Tesla? #nazi #tesla 001
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 01/12/2025Remember, today is the first day of the rest of your Cheesemas. 000
Reposted by Jolie No McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 17/11/2025We hope your decorative gourds are still kicking ass on your porch or mantel or in your all-gourd reenactments of 'Diff’rent Strokes' eps. #BLAMMObuff.lyIt’s Decorative Gourd Season, MotherfuckersFirst published on October 9, 2009, this classic by Colin Nissan is our most-read article of all time. We’re celebrating the 16th anniversary of th... 311933
Reposted by Jolie No McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 21/10/2025"One rock? Okay, fine. But every house in the neighborhood? This was obviously a coordinated effort to humiliate our family." www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-l...mcsweeneys.netA Letter to the Parents that Gave My Son Charlie a Bunch of Rocks for HalloweenFellow parents, I am so angry and drunk right now that I am shaking. This evening, our young son spent several unsupervised hours trick-or-treating... 222348
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 19/10/2025I have decided that anyone under age 40 is a teenager and I won't be taking any questions on this matter. 120
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 15/10/2025Geez I guess I was drunk when I wrote my last post. It should be illegal to play Xmas songs on October 14th. I'm looking at you, Shogun Kobe. 000
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 15/10/2025It should be against the law to play Xmas songs on October 24th. 010
Reposted by Jolie No Dirge Magazine @dirgemagazine.com · 21/08/2025Hey, dingdongs, it's the end of the internet as we know it. We need your help to preserve the last bastion of beautiful chaos untouched by enshittification. You in?patreon.comWe're back (and the more things change, the more things stay the same)! | Dirge MagazineGet more from Dirge Magazine on Patreon 076
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 21/08/2025Can someone please make me a Black Forest cake with Luxardo cherries? 🍒 000
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 23/06/2025The ONLY thing I hate about trans folks is that so many of them are better looking than me. 🏳️⚧️ That's it - I'm just jealous. 000
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 19/05/2025Help me win an awesome giveaway from Vornado! wn.nr/UXMR6yAwn.nrMother's Day GiveawayAs adults, we can look back and realize how much our moms did for us that went unseen and unnoticed. This Mother’s Day, we’re giving away three products as our way of saying “Thank you” to moms who wo... 010
Reposted by Jolie No McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 12/04/2025"I don’t mean to sound like an alarmist, but I’m starting to wonder if maybe it wasn’t the best idea to give absolute power to an angry, demented simian."mcsweeneys.netI Didn’t Think Things Would Get This Chaotic When We Elected President Donkey KongI’m not into politics. Never have been. That’s why it was so refreshing to have a candidate who wasn’t the same old same old, but a raging animated... 17711
Reposted by Jolie No McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 07/04/2025"What first began as a minor nuisance crescendos into an eardrum-shattering screech unlike anything found in nature."mcsweeneys.netIs Your Child Practicing the Recorder, or Are Winged Harpies from the Seventh Circle of Hell Tormenting You from Within Your Own Home?1. What was once a beautiful creature has suddenly transformed into a vicious, cruel monster with lovely hair. 2. Its presence makes all living cre... 0789
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 03/03/2025How DARE they only show George Lazenby for a couple of seconds while featuring all the other actors who played Bond multiple times during the James Bond tribute? On Her Majesty's Secret Service will always be my favorite Bond (other than the 1967 Casino Royale). 010
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 28/02/2025Another lunch build, finishing them faster now. #crystalblocks #blocktech #fivebelow 000
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 25/02/2025A challenging build because the instructions aren't the best, but you can't beat the price. #crystalblocks #blocktech #fivebelow 010
Reposted by Jolie No Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 22/02/2025Fables really had me believing people would be out here learning the error of their ways from doing bad things 1055459
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 11/02/2025Anniversary gift from Mr. No, Grim Hearts mystery loot from Foam Brain Games. Best husband ever! 💘💝💖 010
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 10/02/2025So does this Super Bowl feel more like the Seahawks vs Broncos or the Chargers vs 49ers? 000
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 05/02/2025Anyone know of some good anti-existensial dread medication? 210
Reposted by Jolie No Chise @sailorrooscout.bsky.social · 02/02/2025PLEASE SHARE 🧪‼️ Since CDC websites and datasets are being taken down by the Administration… The ENTIRE archive of ALL CDC datasets uploaded BEFORE January 28th, 2025 can be found here: archive.org/details/2025... 152101277215
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 30/01/2025Wow. Now Trump is trying to blame DEI policies and the Democrats for the air crash. 230
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 29/01/2025Looking at all the sofa sectionals at Costco and wondering which one would look best covered in cat hair. 020
Reposted by Jolie No Asmadi Games (Chris) @asmadigames.bsky.social · 27/01/2025Yes, you actually have to click Cancel Subscription to even get the option to upgrade to the lower cost no AI plan. Absolutely disgusting behavior by Microsoft. 2141
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 26/01/2025Jinx is so excited that it is raining, he keeps running out on the balcony to look at the rain then running back inside because it is wet. Cats are so weird. 010
Reposted by Jolie No Evan Dorkin @evandorkin.bsky.social · 26/01/2025www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyWK...youtube.comThe Mummies - (You Must Fight To Live) On The Planet Of The ApesYouTube video by entropyness 4756
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 26/01/2025So, how is it I have almost 200 followers but the most likes I have gotten on any of my posts is 6? Why are there so many random people following me? I like it here, but I am feeling a little lost in the shuffle... 231
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 24/01/2025Typical morning with Jinx, who has hopped on my husband's back. #cat #weirdo 130
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 23/01/2025Who would've thought that eggs would be the expensive part of a steak and eggs breakfast? 010
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 23/01/2025Lunch build - Lego money tree. Took 3 days, but I was working slowly. #lego #lunarnewyear #moneytree 030
Reposted by Jolie No Bat in Your Belfry @batinyourbelfry.bsky.social · 21/01/2025The state of things #darkart #resist #holdthemaccountable #batinyourbelfry 0182
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 20/01/2025Midnight cat snuggle party. Sorry for the crap focus, but it's hard to get a good picture with light from the nightlight while everyone is asleep. #cats #catsky 020
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 20/01/2025And now we get a lesbian kiss party. I guess I am now a #hollywoodsquares fan? (But still fuck Drew for being a scab) 030
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 20/01/2025"Cornhole and pickleball is why everyone hates while people." - Whitney Cummings I think there's a pretty long list, but cornhole and pickleball is a good start. 020
Jolie No @jolieno.bsky.social · 20/01/2025Hollywood Squares - do I skip it because of Drew Barrymore the scab, or watch because of everyone else? 010
Reposted by Jolie No Sister Mary Blaze @sistermaryblaze.bsky.social · 25/10/2024Lady Gaga Disease 283
