iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 16h

Their human masks are barely staying on at this point.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Shout out to the witchcraft book containing "Spell for Avoiding Jury Duty". It worked!

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

My friends, all early adopters of "Bleach" by Nirvana, hang out at an apartment in Chicago until we finally decide to head over to the show at Cabaret Metro not factoring in the power of MTV plays of "Teen Spirit" etc. and get within four people of entering the venue when we're told it's sold out.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Always loved Mad Magazine’s parody of the show: ‘Murder, She Hopes’.

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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 25/08/2026

This is truly heartbreaking. Dolly Parton was an extraordinary person and an irreplaceable champion of the working class. We are a better country because of her.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

If you ever get a chance to see Brent's standup, do not hesitate.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Rewatched it not long ago and holds up well. So funny and relatable when you experience an extended day of relentless absurdity.

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Robert Reich @rbreich.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Casual reminder that the myth of “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” is a cruel hoax designed to convince poor people from all walks of life that the injustices they face are a result of their own actions, rather than an oppressive system rigged against them.

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Prosediva @prosediva.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Tfw you got left on the plane in Turkey

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Snarkyshadow @snarkyshadow.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Fobidden Planet

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Robert Falls @robertfalls.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Every third post on my feed today, there’s that fucking bloated orange sack of shit’s face again — a malignant jack-o’-lantern marinated in grease, vanity, and human sewage.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Been a bit since I found a payphone ghost. Using a payphone from your car was very cool in 1987.

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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 08/08/2026

"You will have the opportunity to showcase your daily routines for the edification of your little one in hopes it will instill a desire in them to remain living here and work for us when we need to obtain fresh humans."

buff.ly

Announcing Our AI Data Center’s First Take Your Child to Work Day

“You will have the opportunity to showcase your daily routines for the edification of your little one in hopes it will instill a desire in them to remain liv...

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

If Ash isn't afraid to read, you shouldn't be either.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

As AI Data Centers consume the land and resources around us, it’s time to start preparing future generations to serve them. My new one for @mcsweeneys.net

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Derf Backderf @derfbackderf.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

1,100,000 Americans died from Covid, and these fucking scumbags want everyone to believe that it was all a hoax & didn't happen. My Mom died in a Covid ward in 2020. I couldn't get in to see her. A nurse held up the phone to my Mom's ear so I could tell her goodbye. I hate these people. Truly.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

I'm not saying that Matt Damon copied this pose from my YouTube Evil Dead II parody short Desperately Seeking Chainsaw, but there, I didn't say it. #TheOdyssey #DesperatelySeekingChainsaw

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

From now on I will be using this list of Gmail AI-suggested responses to an email as my go-to response to all future emails:

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Jennifer Goodland @libraryjenn.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

There are so many Stephen Miller insults in this whole thread but I want this one to get a little sunlight

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

"...conspiracy theories are history for stupid people." 😂

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Dread Meadow @deadlyflowers.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

Bang-on, as usual with McSweeney's!

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Heather Anne Campbell @heathercampbell.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

can’t believe a narcissist is being so publicly humiliated by a reflecting pool

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𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.lol · 18/06/2026

I’m so immature but this is immaculate.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

I can read the title of this piece until time ends and it will always crack me up. Then the piece itself is even better.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

At least he quickly got up to speed on what groceries are.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 07/06/2026

Another successful faked moon landing. #BostonTerrier #@Boston_Bits

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 06/06/2026

That was my plan for last year's Halloween costume but I pivoted to chimp in a spacesuit instead.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

Rare photo of Daisy Matthews, revolutionary leader of STU (Stuffed Toy Underground).

photo of a Boston Terrier in a camo baseball cap chomping a cigar-like stick surrounded by small stuffed dog toys.

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Jooli-AHH! Boolia 👻🍂🎃 @jooliaghoulia.bsky.social · 31/05/2026

BREAKING: Charles Manson backs out of the Freedom 250 concert

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Neil Steinberg @neilsteinberg.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

Among the many reasons I'm proud to be in the union is they tend to have good graphics. Today, on the newspaper's Slack channel, we're replacing our photos with this way-cool logo to remind our masters that people make the Sun-Times, not AI slop.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

It's my belief that Big Balls humor should be published every night.

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ULTRA💀BLAST @ultrakillblast.bsky.social · 10/05/2026

Happy Mother's Day

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BIG D GRANDROYAL @bigdgrandroyal.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

Do you Remember when Obama, Clinton and Bush tried to get a comedian fired for making fun of them??? Me neither … only whiny b!tches do that 🤷🏻‍♂️

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 28/04/2026

I am going to be thinking of this woman and her poor dog for a long time. This is soul-crushing.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 21/04/2026

Happy April 21st "Fog Day" to all who celebrate. Wrote some satire on Medium to commemorate the day. medium.com/@planetstrik...

medium.com

Don’t Worry Stevie, I’m Staying Away From The Fog (And Antonio Bay) For Good

April 21, 1980

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

I had one as well. Great at preventing "Boss Lurk" and "Coworker Creep".

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

My brother used to sit so close to the TV when WW was on, I thought he was going to crawl into it.

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

Found this on street today. Maybe try to apply at Duke of Oil instead?

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

And it being reported in a singsongy reporter voice is beyond surreal.

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Brent Terhune @brentterhune.bsky.social · 04/04/2026

He got transported to Waffle House

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John Howard Matthews @johnmatthews.bsky.social · 25/03/2026

"If NASA allows lycanthropes to perform a successful moon landing, we run the risk of ushering in a hyper-advanced civilization of lunar-dwelling space wolves. This outcome is undesirable." 😂😆😂

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Bob Dinitto @ninzo.bsky.social · 24/03/2026

You can lead a Republican to facts but you can't make them think.

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