Alt: Elmo's long exasperated sigh

You saw me carrying our baby and food. There was more happening in our family that night.

Alt: Sad Tim Tebow crying on the sidelines of the 2009 SEC Championship game where Alabama roundly trounced Florida with a final score 32-13. Oh, and Tebow has John 3:16 written in white ink on his eye black because how else are people supposed to know how utterly godly and pure of soul he is?

Alt: Classic scene from Billy Madison as he returns to hang out with his 3rd grade class even though he's moved on to high school. A third grader says "Gee, I can't wait till I go to high school". Billy's response is to say, "Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it!" and he moves closer and closer to the kid, finally taking the kid's face in both hands and shaking him. "You gotta cherish it..."

Representative Jared Huffman of California, the only self-declared “humanist” in Congress, writes in a new book that the separation of church and state is in grave danger.

Alt: Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men in a particularly dickish scene where he replies to a question from Tom Cruise's character by saying, " You have to ask me nicely'

U.S. phone customers pay more than $340,000 a year for an Anchorage company to keep homes and buildings on Alaska’s Adak Island wired for obsolete internet service. All but a few of them sit empty.

Esmail Baghaei made the comment to journalists at a news conference in Tehran, Iran’s capital.