iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by Starbuck Marquis

Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 04/01/2025

I accidentally typed 'thee' and now I'm listening to lute music and my neighbour Jeff just succumbed to the plague.

Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Yeah I *could* sing a hauntingly beautiful Viking funeral song but today Im gifting you rhyming couplets about the creepy Coles delivery guy.

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

To remove the crab meat you must first remove the legs, then crack open the shell, remove the frilly nodes, activate the archaic membrane of ancient knowledge, collate the fleshy delights then mix it with mayo after hosing down the concrete

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Diabetes V2.0 new version-this version-final edit-FINALFINAL

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Reposted by Starbuck Marquis

MiloPoint @milopoint.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Write the posts you want to read.

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Ian Brady wanted a song played at his funeral but the court ruled no music and just chucked his urn of ashes in the sea where it still is so if I could just find the urn with my metal detector and sell each ash for $100 at the pub, I’ll just wait outside for all the drunks in my memento mori cart

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Honestly the only way I’m going to buy your book is if it is labelled the bumper book of insert subject here because once it is a bumper book I know I’ll be getting at least 20 more pages of non stop adventure and fury

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

People who keep their bacon fat in jars also have other things in jars but to reveal to each category of horrors would be to break a sacred pact and I take that honour very seriously for the bacon fat jar women have knighted me so I will take their secrets to my grave.

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Im not just going to be any old normal ninja Im going to be a mean ninja who sits in your rafters silently and judges everything I can hear you saying from your kitchenette and you burst into flame which creates a mutated cell that rapidly divides into a hate tumour I gave you as a ninja present.

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

If we gave seminars on correct disposal of bodies at global arenas and gave out shiny lanyards I think everyone would just be a lot more hygienic about their murders and the knock on effects of that are truly remarkable if you crunch the numbers.

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

The core motivation for Ian Brady and Myra Hindley’s picnics on the Moors was actually because they were secretly studying the natural pharmacological benefits of heather flowers but everyone ratholed on other stuff instead and we forgot

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

In another dimension is a perpetual courtroom loop where Ted Bundy represents himself again but this time his steely grandeur and polish prevents him from being sent to the electric chair and is instead released and becomes a politician who gifts everyone a VW

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

If you can’t multi task well then I don’t want to know what else you are capable of

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Coworkers who sign off with increasingly unhinged sentiments like: stay safe, eat your prunes and hope your CPAP machine doesn’t get a twisted tube or anything; are in my humble opinion the best poster children for why Baileys Irish Cream is a gateway drug.

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Ariana Grande’s grocery list is shorter than my fuse

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

The leadership have decided to rekindle the performance of reciprocity for the metrics reveal it has tapered off the same way the mist glides over crawdaddy creek in the dawn of our losses and the fireside of our dreams.

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

I’m not one of those happy friendly Australians, I’m one of those Wolf creek Australians

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Things cheerful people say: Okily dokily Gee Whizz Thanks a bunch You’re hurting me and I can’t breathe Ahhhhhhhh Help.

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

All of my customers are called Samantha at this point

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Reposted by Starbuck Marquis

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

staving off panic attacks by belting stone temple pilots to frightened teenagers

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Smile. In fact you should SMILE SMILE SMILE. Show primate submission to force the group of cannibal monkeys to enjoy your presence because they know you’d be easy to dominate and kill. Everyone likes that. You can begin immediately.

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Oh I see how it is, you care about the meaninglessness of existence when someone T-Bones a telegraph pole but not if I write a poem.

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

You can murder gloomy artistic types and get away with it because everyone just nods in unison that they were sad.

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

We don’t care how many followers you amassed to try and fail to fill the black gaping void of your childhood

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Starbuck Marquis @hauntedandroid.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

‘How do you get out of a “funk”’ This infers you can get out. I don’t know anyone with an IQ above eating glue that was happy

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Reposted by Starbuck Marquis

Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

oh, hey, didn’t see you there

A young John travolta in the 70’s probably a welcome back kotter promo photo. He’s standing before a burnt orange cyc, wearing a light lavender sweater and blue bell bottom jeans. He’s looking over his shoulder at the camera, it looks kinda dorky

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Reposted by Starbuck Marquis

Brie @brielikethechhes.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

At this point witches and librarians are probably our best hope

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Reposted by Starbuck Marquis

Amy Vants to Suck Your Blood 🩸 @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

i keep putting “install decontamination chambers in the exits” in the suggestion box at my gym but those cheap bastards keep saying “the lost and found isn’t a suggestion box” and “take a shower”

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