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Beau

@drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social

1K followers 702 following 8.4K posts

Lapsed historian, having the best mid-life crisis. Personal account: all the stupid opinions expressed are entirely my own, and nobody else's. he/him

Posts Replies Media

Reposted by Beau

Neil Norman And His Cosmic Orchestra @fubsyshabaroon.bsky.social · 1h

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 3h

You’d have to imagine there probably were some delays, given how Malaysia is nowhere near Bahrain…

BBC headline: “Verstappen wins Bahrain GP in Malaysia after long delays”

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 4h

Strange-but-true fact of the day: in the UK, Chocolate Nesquik is zero-rated for VAT, but Banana and Strawberry Nesquik are standard rated. And they* say that tax can’t be fun. (*nobody has ever said this. Because nobody has ever considered the possibility that UK tax law COULD be fun.)

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 23h

I think this Waitrose has found religion.

A sign in the window of Waitrose, which should say “it’s time for the good”, but which due to the angle reads instead as “it’s time he god.”

Reposted by Beau

Josephine beckbook.com Riesman @josie.zone · 02/10/2026

Still the absolute funniest "trailer remix" ever made -- as well as one of the very first of its kind, debuting in 2005 Every shot is perfectly chosen God I could watch this all day

Reposted by Beau

HappyToast @happytoast.co.uk · 02/10/2026

‘It’s a deep soul connection’: Erasure on how 40 years of friendship got them through grief – and why Vince Clarke has quit touring www.theguardian.com/music/2026/o...

theguardian.com

‘It’s a deep soul connection’: Erasure on how 40 years of friendship got them through grief – and why Vince Clarke has quit touring

Returning for a 20th album of sumptuous synthpop, Andy Bell and Clarke open up about supporting one another through bereavement, being happily uncool and battling the resurgence of homophobia

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Morning you.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Celebrating the sixth anniversary of one of the best puns to ever come out of either Twitter or Covid.

A tweet from ITV News that “Strictly Come Dancing contestant HRVY tests positive for coronavirus”, retweeted by Fourfoot with the post “He needs A and E.”

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

If you see this, post a vampire that isn't Dracula.

The American political advisor and fascist Stephen Miller.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Today’s life lesson: if you ever discover a wallet full of cash laying in the gutter while out on your morning walk, then the one thing that will feel so much better than an unexpected windfall is the genuine look of relieved delight on the face of its owner when you hand it back to him. Trust me.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The precise moment in any film when you know that the casting director has 100% understood the assignment.

static.klipy.com

Starship Troopers: Jean Rasczak's Exact Words

ALT: Starship Troopers: Jean Rasczak's Exact Words

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

This #WipWednesday, I shall be mostly dirtying up this tiny sort-of-tank. #Custodes #WarhammerCommunity #Nerdlings

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

And still, there are those who say that Americans can’t do irony.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I have a feeling this is about to age like the very finest of milks… www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Cristiano Ronaldo: Portugal boss Jorge Jesus denies rift with captain

Portugal head coach Jorge Jesus insists there is no rift with captain Cristiano Ronaldo following claims the five-time Ballon d'Or winner had refused to train.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I’m not a fancy city detective, but “There was petrol in the car!” does not feel like the sort of slam-dunk revelation that the Rozzers seem to think it is… www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

RAF Fairford: 'Quantity of petrol' but no explosives found in three vehicles

Police say the decision to release five men on bail is one "grounded in experience and strategy".

Reposted by Beau

J @konstanho.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

They’re calling them The Pepstein Files.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I don’t think I’ve ever actually eaten an iced gem. #GBBO

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

BOLD.

BBC News update:

Manchester City have just posted on X.

"Vote for your September Goal of the Month"

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Was it Gérard Depardieu, by any chance?

BBC headline: RAF Fairford incident involves 'foreign actor', says Rubio, as some evacuated residents return home

Reposted by Beau

WholesomeMemes @wholesomememe.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Picked up the car after its MOT earlier, and discovered that there’s a shop in my home town that sells radio controlled TANKS. Well, shoot. That’s an itch I never even knew needed scratching… #PoopPoop

A row of shelves filled with boxes containing surprisingly large radio controlled battle tanks.

Reposted by Beau

Bill Mudron @mudron.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Reposted by Beau

Gavin Alexander @gavin83bay.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Quite an achievement to get the man's name wrong twice in the same post.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I’m 100% onboard with this.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Just reported an exploded water main on our street to Thames Water, so that should give a flavour of how today is going to go.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

To be fair, you honestly can’t say that Enid Blyton isn’t prepared to move with the times.

BBC headline: Five arrested as counter-terror police investigate major incident near RAF Fairford

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Well’ that’s another away win at Spurs to add to the list.

BBC headline: Big Bang wins over fans old and new at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

If an f-bomb is going anywhere into Shakespeare, then surely it’s going into Titus Andronicus. Act IV, Scene 2: DEMETRIUS: Villain, what hast thou done? AARON: That which thou canst not undo. CHIRON: Thou hast undone our mother. AARON: Villain, I have done thy fucking mother.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Ok, but I’m pretty sure that somebody already has…

Email from lastminute.com, suggesting that I “Discover Scandinavia.”

Reposted by Beau

Jason @nickmotown.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

A picture of Matt Berry as Steven Toast.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Sincere congratulations to Tim from East Sussex, who has successfully won TripAdvisor in just three words with his recent (and it has to be said, extremely balanced) review of the Rhodes Faliraki Water Park. A genuine masterpiece of brevity. Well done Tim. I do hope your face is on the mend.

A TripAdvisor review of the Rhodes Falkirk Water Park. It shows a close up of a man’s face, with a bandage covering an area just above his eye.

The full TripAdvisor review of the Rhodes Falkirk Water Park. It shows a close up of a man’s face, with a bandage covering an area just above his eye. Tim has awarded the work 1/5, adding the comment “Unsafe but friendly.”

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Craig David is not going to win the Nobel Peace Prize for this.

BBC headline: Trump rejects Iran deal to reopen Strait of Hormuz in seven days

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Listening to the Red Roses match, and if the Kiwi commentator is any judge of things, then it sounds like the England team are putting in an awful lot of tickles on the Black Ferns…

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Tell me you don’t know what AI is, without telling me that you don’t know what AI is.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Craig David is going to win the Nobel Peace Prize for this.

BBC headline: Iran offers US deal to reopen Strait of Hormuz in seven days

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

This man has actually made me want to go to Leeds. The extent of this achievement cannot be understated.

Reposted by Beau

Simon HB @norock.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

The Independent here is promoting a keep-fit article, and not, as you might think, suggesting you make up an imminent threat in order to enter a war

Text box: How to get arms like Tony Blair

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

You know if there’s one thing that might just unite the disparate people of this shattered, unhappy country, it’d be our common sharing of lols at the self-induced immolation of Manchester City FC.

static.klipy.com

Phil Foden's Manchester City Goal Celebration

ALT: Phil Foden's Manchester City Goal Celebration

Reposted by Beau

Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I knew it.

Geometry is a hoax created by the government to sell more rectangles.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Yes yes, but enough about Everton: what will they do to Manchester City?

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Manchester City’s wholesale abuse of the financial rules ought to deservedly land them with a points deductions so colossal that Haaland will be playing against Accrington Stanley next season; but I have a sneaky suspicion that somehow it’ll just result in Everton getting docked six points instead.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Well this is jolly exciting.

Reposted by Beau

Jim Waterson @jim.londoncentric.media · 25/09/2026

I don't know enough about sports journalism and who's sourced with who to know who is briefing this to Ornstein and why. But oooofph. www.nytimes.com/athletic/704...

Manchester City found guilty on almost all Premier League charges relating to financial breaches (Gift Article)

City were charged by the Premier League in February 2023.

Reposted by Beau

Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

guy who fell into a coma after the last episode of fawlty towers wakes up and looks at the internet

5 panel comic

Panel 1: Purple Guy looks at a laptop and says “boy o boy! I wonder what my comedy hero’s up to”

Panel 2: A tweet from John Cleese that reads “This is where the Arabs were ahead of us

By castrating all their slaves, they made sure that there were no descendants who could claim reparations”

Panels 3-5: Purple Guy slowly closes laptop with a mystified look of revulsion

Reposted by Beau

Benedict #FBPE 🇬🇧 🇪🇺FBR💙 #NAFO #FELLAS @cosmogalaxy.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

🤣

Reposted by Beau

Russell Parker @pussellrarker.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Such a sad decline from his Sherlock/Doctor Strange heyday www.glasgowlive.co.uk/news/glasgow...

glasgowlive.co.uk

Burst Cumbernauld sewage pipe leaves smelly 'Pringles tube sized keech' on path

The issue is said to have been reported to Scottish Water after a pipe burst, spewing raw sewage onto the path behind Drumpellier Gardens.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I tell you what, let’s lock up all of the fascists first, and then maybe have a pint in a stadium after that, yeah?

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Approach Thursday with the same insouciant confidence as the songwriters of Katseye’s ‘Animal’ in claiming that they didn’t rip off Britney’s ‘Toxic’.

Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Smart Glasses WITHOUT cameras?! Those geniuses are going to make a billion gazillion dollars. They should call them: GLASSES.

BBC article: They were labelled 'pervert glasses'. Will a camera-free version transform their image?