iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

I ain't smoke weed in 15-16 months and deadass I haven't really craved it, but juicy nerds gummy clusters are SO good that it makes me wanna get stoned just to see if it's possible to appreciate them any more than I already do.

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Marsupial Ape @browwiw.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Carob is gaslighting.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

One of my favorite bits to get my wife's goat is, if I time it just right, her watch's voice-to-text records my interjection right after she hits send, so it transcribes it and she can't cancel. This was her to our babysitter.

My spouse texting with our babysitter:

SITTER:
Just so you know we went back inside:)
No rush tho!

SPOUSE:
OK! Will be back in about 20 or so minutes I'm a stinky walrus

Sorry, that last part was background noise

Hahaha

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Listening to Werner Herzog read the audiobook of his memoir Every Man For Himself And God Against All is beautiful and absurd. He watched dozens of weasels run down a hillside! He stabbed his brother in an argument about their pet hamster! His mother was a Doctor of Biology who studied fish hearing!

Image macro of Dr Evil from the film Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery saying:

"My childhood was typica. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets."

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

How Garf made me human: In fourth grade a pal asked me: "Do you like Garfield?" The concept of whether or not one could "like" Garfield changed my life. Garfield just Was, like Mild Cheddar or Pajamas. By interrogating whether l "liked" Garfield, all of my agency as an individual surged into Me.

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onion person @junlper.beer · 26/07/2026

cold water is a tasty treat

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

Summer camp songs are such annoying earworms. 30 years later I'm still thinking about Ite-ite-iting eyepples and banigh-nighs. Ever since I was 11, every time I meet someone named Joe my first thought is "He must work in a button factory." I'm tired of this shit.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

Y'know how British people call "H" "Haitch"? And how older Brooklyn guys pronounce H words with with a Y instead? Like how Mel Brooks says "Yooge" and "Yooman" and whatnot? Bernie doing his alphabet at school if he moved to East London when he was nine: "…dee ee eff gee, YAITCH aye jay kay…"

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 24/04/2026

I am going to have to buy a key-locking gas cap for my truck; I fell victim to siphoning again last night. I can only hope is was some jerkass way into huffing who can't afford their habit, rather than a poor soul who can't afford to drive their kids to school

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

Me: I used to think Andre 3000 was the best rapper, but now I am certain Big Boi is the best rapper ever. Biblical Scholar: ahh, yes, 1 Corinthians 13:11.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 11/03/2026

Been seeing a bunch of worms lately after it rains. That's kinda nice. I'd rather see a worm than not see a worm. If seeing a bear is 200 exciting points, seeing a worm is 1 exciting point. I've definitely seen 200 worms in the last few weeks, so in aggregate that's as exciting as seeing a bear.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 08/09/2025

@early90spants.com Hey Producer Dan my buddy and I are going crazy trying to figure out what the YKS bumper music is, like coming back from ads and whatnot. We are both sure we've heard it before but we can't place it. My guess is it's from a sitcom I never watched on purpose. Please help us!

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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 28/08/2025

Werner Herzog would respect Heathcliff but despise Garfield due to their differing approaches to embracing domesticity

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 11/05/2025

For some reason my wife's glasses came with this cum rag with good cumrag advice printed on it.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 04/05/2025

Thinking about how horny springtime used to make me when I was young makes me really horny.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 15/04/2025

Dogg the app added more stats for NYT Connections and I am so psyched. 'Purple First' is an excellent stat to see I look at the wordlebot after every puzzle and for crossword data I actually use an external site, xwstats.com.

Image of the stats page for the Connections puzzle on the NYT Games app

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 14/04/2025

Chili Restaurant. 4 base chilis: •red w/ chunks •red w ground •green •green w/ pork •1 (maybe two*) rotating chili Toppings bar Fried okra, beans & rice, collard greens, cornbread, house-made little flour tortillas. *maybe 1 rotating house chili & 1 rotating guest chili

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 29/03/2025

I've been noticing huge loogies on the drivers' sides of cybetrucks after I walk past them. I'll be walking up and I don't see anything there, and then after I walk past when I look back there's a big gob of boogs and spit right there where you open the door. It's the damnedest thing.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 20/03/2025

I've seen plenty (PLENTY.) of porno videos that purport to be truly amateur, but they obviously have a giant special effects budget to make the guy's hog appear to be huge. I can't concentrate when they use VFX to make it look more than 4". That's too unrealistic and I can't suspend my disbelief.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 12/03/2025

If Resist Liberals were serious about opposing PresidentTrump they should have pulled a Dirty Work during the car commercial he did today.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 11/03/2025

I think only worms should be called "worms". We need a different word for all those other animals called "worms" that aren't worms. None of those those marine worms or insect larvae or microscopic creatures should be called "worms". Worms are worms and that's it.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 08/03/2025

We're teaching The Boy people make bad choices, but there aren't "bad guys". He asks "I need to ask you something. Police put people in jail when they make bad choices. Why do people wanna do that?" Right away my brilliant wife said "we don't really know why people want to be police officers.".

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

The top five beneficiaries of masking were: 1) piggy-nosed women with decent bods 2) people who would die otherwise 3) people who have to look at people with severely ugly faces 4) people with severely ugly faces 5) loved ones of people who would die otherwise

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

Tony Blinken was strong determined evil, boasting "Good news Bibi, I persuaded Joe to throw in an extra $100 million worth of bombs for those refugee camps." Little Marco is pathetic evil, sheepishly muttering "I'm sorry President Zelensky, but President Trump says you gotta go home now."

Marco Rubio sitting like a little mark-ass bitch.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 28/02/2025

Somebody needs to invent a modular bun that can accommodate either a burger or a sausage with grace.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 27/02/2025

Boner Boperator: long-hail trucker / sex worker. always pulls a double trailer. back trailer is the payload she's hauling; front trailer is a fancy bordello where she does sex work. Boner Boperator.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 26/02/2025

I've been thinking about that scene in Basic Instinct where you see Sharon Stone's pussy. I think one of the best things about that scene is when you see her pussy.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

Weed bubblegum should be a popular thing.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 31/01/2025

I never could have accurately predicted how much were gonna be accurately using the terms "henchmen" and "goons" during this administration.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 28/01/2025

It's cool that The Brutalist has an intermission so you know when to re-up your weed gummies.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 15/01/2025

Just saw that new Timothee Chalomet movie. Apparently that guy Bob he played was, like, a real person in real life.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

Slick move, @chriswade.bsky.social. I caught how you used the Grateful Dead playing at the pyramids as bumper music after hot pyramid talk.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 13/12/2024

The Narduwar interview of Andre 3000 is tight cuz Andre 3000 is the first person Narduwar has ever interviewed who is exactly on Narduwar's level. Narduwar never perplexes Three Stacks, he just really feels everything Narduwar throws at him.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 13/12/2024

In my estimation, Pink Floyd was the band of my parents'generation who made perfect records again and again while continually growing and outpacing all of their peers. By that very high standard, I think the Pink Floyd of my generation was OutKast.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

I do the NYT Crossword every night. I put a lot of pressure on myself to complete it quickly. I do the crossword as if I'm being scrutinized by another party even though I know no real person cares. And I didn't talk about it cuz I know it's boring. I still pressure myself as if everybody cares.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Call me Nancy Pelosi's fake boobs the way I'm performatively standing up for the Liberal Resistance.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 14/11/2024

I used the chrome extension Porto to import all my classic hilarious tweets from X™ THE EVERYTHING APP™ so that's why all that brilliant shit may have just hit your timeline at once. Now I'm gonna delete my account with X™ THE EVERYTHING APP™.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 26/10/2024

The jizz totally dissolved the lint. There's no practical reason to replicate it, and it was a utilitarian act (closest possible jizz rag), not something that turned me on. So there is no reason for me to do it again ever.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 25/10/2024

The way my laundry machines are configured I think you would need either a 16" dick or a 26" waist to get your dick into the lint trap. I'm about ten inches off on both of those measures

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 21/09/2024

When I was a kid everybody thought you had to eat the whole bag of mushrooms. It wasn't until after 9/11 that we as a society started just eating just a stem or a couple caps or whatever.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 19/09/2024

The state of Israel is so belligerent that even though within a few weeks of 10/7 everybody should have said 'Israel has gone too far!', they keep finding new heinous acts to commit on a regular basis. I am heartbroken by Democrat voters that they have allowed this to happen.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 27/08/2024

Whoa I just saw a video of a naked woman and I kinda pretended like I was being intimate with the woman in the video. I really enjoyed the experience. I think more people should know about doing this.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 26/08/2024

Nerds don't say "according to my calculations" enough anymore.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 17/07/2024

The only credit I ever gave Jack Black was that he really understood what rocks. And then he went and did the thing that literally rocks the least in the universe and served KG a total screwjob. Rage Kage rocks.

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 15/06/2024

As a Marxist I firmly believe that rather than "now I know MY abc's" the song should go "now I know OUR abc's".

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 06/06/2024

The Little Dog was probably tripping balls if he watched The Cow JUMP OVER THE LITERAL MOON and his only reaction to seeing such a sight was to laugh.

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