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gapernet

@gapernet.bsky.social
168 followers 519 following 642 posts

fixin' to be half as funny and twice as horny as my twitter

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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 7h
Don Bluth was cookin' with The Secret Of NIMH. The Great Owl and Nicodemus were Neutral and Good, respectively, but they presented as even scarier than actual baddies like Jenner. That was a powerful choice, it really helped show Mrs Brisby's fear (and resultant courage).
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
"Love And Sausages" absolutely floored me the first time I saw it, and everything about its existence still amazes me - that it was written, accepted, produced, aired, etc. youtu.be/3ChvxsVgT8c?...
youtu.be
KITH Love and Sausages
YouTube video by DDSDD
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
My kid achieved a big goal we set for the week and his reward was choosing two candies from the bulk section. He went with banana runts and the mixed spooky gummies that have fingers, brains, eyeballs, and bones. The bones are particularly bad.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Don't worry it's just me, Gru. De Despicable Me 3.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Also the phrases don't match the icons next to them. Why is a Shield next to "INVEST IN THE WORKFORCE" and a Heart beside "DELIVER SAFER PATIENT CARE"? It's particularly frustrating seeing unions use AI for Communications. I'm sure ONA has a robust comms department with people better than this.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Indeed. I'm not in love with my avi, but I found it on a Japanese costume website in the early 2010's, it reminded me of a Don Hertzfeld cartoon, and I've used it on everything ever since just cuz I know nobody else is gonna find it elsewhere or like it enough to steal it.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
What chiles did you use? My pepper harvest this year was unfit for the sauce I've perfected, Stankin' Orangutan. A long-fermented mash of Trinidad Scorpion, Scotch Bonnet, and Fresno peppers, finished with tamarind, applesauce, and vinegar.
Crudely hand-drawn orangutan (with stink lines) attached to a bottle of hot sauce with gorilla tape
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
gesundhtang
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
A lot of people were watching AGNB, followed Andrew to C5, learned of the allegations, learned the details, and never watched his content again. The first in-depth investigative report was this Rolling Stone piece 3 years ago. It sucks that Andrew sucks. www.rollingstone.com/culture/cult...
rollingstone.com
Andrew Callaghan, Popular Host of 'All Gas No Brakes' and 'Channel 5,' Accused of Sexual Misconduct
The YouTube journalist behind 'All Gas No Brakes,' 'This Place Rules,' 'Channel 5' has been accused of pressuring two women into sexual encounters.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Tecnu is a fantastic product made to cleanse poison oak and poison ivy rashes. It works perfectly and is only $14.99 for 12 oz. Dawn Dish Soap is also fantastic at cleansing poison oak and poison ivy. It can magically accomplish almost anything else you could dream, and $14.99 buys a year's supply.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Good heads-up, I'm trying to lower the gore cuz he likes it too much. For a few years I've told him the word Harrumph makes my batteries die, and when he says it I fall over. But yesterday he told a new friend's mom Harrumph "kills my dad". I embarrassedly clarified "my batteries die! No killing!"
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Awesome thank you! My boy is a bit older than your fellas and he only recently developed a taste for the silly. Before that he was too literal-minded and he would respond to absurdity with puzzled annoyance. "Why does the book say that is a ball when it is clearly a block?"
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Little Black Hole Aya Has Never Seen A Bear The Walrus And The Caribou No. 5 Bubblegum Street The Bears And The Magic Masks Does A Bulldozer Have A Butt? Cats On Cats On Cats He tends to love silly books or stories that purport to be indigenous tales from the area.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Looking at my kid's library card borrowing history, here are some that we've really enjoyed recently: Don't Trust Fish What Will Fat Cat Sit On? (And every other book by Jan Thomas) I Am Not Boring Danger Eagle How Not To Make A Jelly Sandwich This Is A Ball Llama Rocks The Cradle Of Chaos
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I would love if you could give a rundown of kid's library books you enjoyed the way you did with grown-up books you checked out this year! I just put a hold on Heckedy Peg.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I search for annotated editions of Classics when I can. I certainly wouldn't have my lofty opinion of The Brothers Karamozov without tens of thousands of words in footnotes contextualizing the Russian Orthodox Church and other things I knew nothing about.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
It just appears recent trends indicate the path to victory might be more about turning out uninspired potential non-voters than winning over voters who don't know if they want the Democrat or the Republican, even in Texas. I was asking if we have much recent evidence of victory from the middle.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
.. and that's what I didn't understand. Playing to the hogs doesn't seem to have a good track record, while mobilizing the base seems to be the story behind every noteworthy D victory. Can the apologists point to any recent big wins where the story was "they won over the undecided middle?
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I ain't smoke weed in 15-16 months and deadass I haven't really craved it, but juicy nerds gummy clusters are SO good that it makes me wanna get stoned just to see if it's possible to appreciate them any more than I already do.
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Reposted by gapernet
Marsupial Ape @browwiw.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Carob is gaslighting.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
My Costco membership pays for itself annually in Mama Lil's savings alone! I love a stinky sandwich with salami, babagool, cheese, and shredded iceberg tossed with Mama Lils AND banana peppers. As a mayo hater I like to dress the sandwich with a little banana pepper juice and a little Mama Lils oil.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Esperanza Spaulding joined them and everybody present transferred out of normal space and time. youtu.be/pMsCWA_6jtM?...
youtu.be
Sons of Kemet feat. Esperanza Spalding - In Remembrance... - Cherry Hill Stage @pickathon 2022
YouTube video by Pickathon
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
They played Pickathon in 2022 and I had listened to everything I could but was totally unprepared for the live experience. There's a passage in Someone's A Great Notion where Lee and Hank are debating what music has "balls". My answer for that now is Some Of Kemet.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
But not Schizopolis. There clearly is only one of that. ...and I've been meaning to revisit it. I haven't seen it in 20 years and I recall it as Soderbergh making the most self-indulgent absurd exploitation of postmodern communication theory possible (in a good way). I hope I still like it.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
The first novel I read multiple times was Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli. I think that and the Wayside School books shaped my lifelong taste in pleasure reading early. Then my dad gave me Cat's Cradle for my birthday in 7th grade and it was off to the races from there.
Cover if Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli showing a young man from the knees down, wearing jeans and white sneakers,with his left foot planted and his right foot raised and pointing down, indicating he is running and is mid-stride.
The lower right corner shows an embossed gold Newberry Medal, an award given for "the most distinguished contributions to American literature for children"
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
As the owner of a small child myself, I must add that the Oregon state fair petting zoo is second-to-none; my child is excited to go to the fair every year every year specifically to pet the tiny pigs, see giant pigs, and meet Smokey.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Nice penumbra, bro.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Little did we know that Tom Green's House Tonight streaming a chunky Flash call-in show in 2006 was the progenitor of thousands of creeps eroding everybody's quality of life everywhere. Like Bilbo thinking he had a neat ring, unaware of its power, but 20 years later every orc has a ring
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
A beer can with 4 more fluid ounces than a standard beer can. Wait i wanna change my answer: A corgi. But not in its normal stance...a corgi standing on its two hind feet! Both of those are pretty good. Since the rules are uncertain, I'm taking a 16 oz beer AND an upright bipedal corgi.
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Reposted by gapernet
gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
One of my favorite bits to get my wife's goat is, if I time it just right, her watch's voice-to-text records my interjection right after she hits send, so it transcribes it and she can't cancel. This was her to our babysitter.
My spouse texting with our babysitter: 

SITTER:
Just so you know we went back inside:)
No rush tho!

SPOUSE:
OK! Will be back in about 20 or so minutes I'm a stinky walrus

Sorry, that last part was background noise

Hahaha
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
One of my favorite bits to get my wife's goat is, if I time it just right, her watch's voice-to-text records my interjection right after she hits send, so it transcribes it and she can't cancel. This was her to our babysitter.
My spouse texting with our babysitter: 

SITTER:
Just so you know we went back inside:)
No rush tho!

SPOUSE:
OK! Will be back in about 20 or so minutes I'm a stinky walrus

Sorry, that last part was background noise

Hahaha
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Pickleball Guys -> Whiffleball Guys -> Tickled Balls Guys
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
He could be a King! And you could be....a...Cabbage!
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
I seen a pretty big 'un the other day
Selfie taken with a large Common Garden Spider dangling between myself and the camera, me with a curious-yet-concerned look (spider looking fairly confident)Selfie taken with a large Common Garden Spider dangling between myself and the camera, me with a bemused look (spider looking fairly confident)
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
On Have Moicy! there's that song "Jackknife / The Red Newt" about a Red Newt AND a Black Crow... it's one of Jeffrey Frederick's tunes on there, not a Hurley one, but it's right after Hurley's great Slurf Song" (and right before Peter Stampfel's INCREDIBLE "Griselda").
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
On a goddamn Chrysler no less!
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Listening to Werner Herzog read the audiobook of his memoir Every Man For Himself And God Against All is beautiful and absurd. He watched dozens of weasels run down a hillside! He stabbed his brother in an argument about their pet hamster! His mother was a Doctor of Biology who studied fish hearing!
Image macro of Dr Evil from the film Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery saying:

"My childhood was typica. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets."
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
All in the most vulnerable soothing human voice possible. The dialectic dynamic of invigoration of the mind and pacification of the psyche is astounding.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
I'm the first hour alone you learn of the poetry inherent in catching cuttlefish, his experience as a rodeo clown in Mexico, sneaking into NASA mission control and sweet-talking his way into staying by talking shop about milking cows, and dozens of weasels barreling down a hillside...
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
I only learned that Herzog reading Every Man for Himself and God Against All existed two weeks ago. I never listen to audiobooks, but I'm about seven hours in and I am relishing the experience. It is simultaneously soothing AND stimulating.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
(for what it's worth, the answer to his question was "kinda, I guess.")
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
I had spent 8 years a simple clockwork insect, responding to stimuli as programmed. Suddenly, Self deluged from the void. Atman merged with the Godhead, and neither my curious pal nor any manifestation of Shiva The Destroyer could ever put that toothpaste back into the tube. Who I am was my choice.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
How Garf made me human: In fourth grade a pal asked me: "Do you like Garfield?" The concept of whether or not one could "like" Garfield changed my life. Garfield just Was, like Mild Cheddar or Pajamas. By interrogating whether l "liked" Garfield, all of my agency as an individual surged into Me.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
While musicians' unions are focusing hard on fighting AI, the Tuba Players Union is putting everything they have into lobbying against ozempic. It's a real job killer. People used to make a good living playing "dum-bum duh-du-duh dum-bum" behind chubby fellas.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Alien from Mars Attacks! disguised as a human
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Crazy-making that this was for a comment in this thread
Bluesky "Liked By" list that states "4 Likes" and proceeds to display the THREE users who had liked the comment.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
This was so long ago we had to shuttle film canisters back to homebase. And since the vantage point was on the other side of the river from the road we had to send the film across to the shuttle guy via a cool pulley system. The rumor was they tried messenger pigeons at one point.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
At the time I was a whitewater photographer. I'd sit next to a bitchin wave on the river and snap 5 photos of every commercial raft that came by and Boss would sell tourists $50 framed photos.
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
@seanjordancomedy.bsky.social
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gapernet @gapernet.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Hi, I'm The People Who Did My Job Yesterday Got Drunk And Got A Ride Back Across The River On Another Raft, Leaving The Boat I Needed To Do My Job In The Morning On The Other Side 200 Yards Above A Class 4 Rapid So I Had To Swim Across The River With A Dislocated Shoulder In Birkenstocks
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