Reposted by James ConnellyPile Of Garbage @pileofgarbage.net · 07/08/2026More from Jessie Zhang: 1023066
Reposted by James ConnellyMisterJayEm @misterjayem.bsky.social · 19/06/2026Thomas House of Dublin exhibiting the pro-human solidarity that all of us should demonstrate. 491533217
Reposted by James ConnellyMark Grimshaw @markgrimshawtism.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Seeing the Peter Serafinowicz Harry Potter announcement just made me think, once again, about this excellent James Acaster bit from Off Menu. 1629381094
Reposted by James ConnellyAmy @lolennui.bsky.social · 12/06/2026guy has a trillion dollars, 0 friends, and has never landed a joke. I know a pact with the devil when I see one. 363252154861
Reposted by James ConnellyTwonks @twonks.bsky.social · 09/06/2026Smart World Cup tactics from USA 171277400
Reposted by James ConnellyTerrible Maps @terriblemapshq.bsky.social · 09/06/2026AI data centres in Europe, 1437 15587105
Reposted by James ConnellyUniversity and College Union (UCU) @ucu.org.uk · 22/05/2026Equality is not conditional. Dignity at work is not negotiable. The EHRC Code of Practice has been published. UCU is examining it urgently. This is a significant and unsettling moment and we will not leave branches to navigate it alone. www.ucu.org.uk/article/1451... 3390119
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 25/03/2026I’m 4 deep on my re-read at the moment, the chaos is a selling point 020
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 19/03/2026I wondered why my collection of medium size buckets had gone missing. Can I have them back please? 031
Reposted by James ConnellyMayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 17/03/2026Happy St. Patrick's Day, New York. 1008389409561
Reposted by James ConnellyChristopher Webb @cwebbonline.com · 17/02/2026We are the laughing stock of the world. 861146435535
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 16/02/2026Not another black and white art house film 😟 060
Reposted by James ConnellyStephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 23/01/2026Off and on it 5685241
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 09/01/2026Looks like the exact same model that I just got rid of in my work, it was the t key that broke for me. Stupid laptops 000
Reposted by James ConnellyHolly Green @winnersusedrugs.bsky.social · 09/12/2025it's 2025 and the gangly guy who appeared on a few seasons of The Office is now our only mirror to society 10969731491
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 13/11/2025I’d be disappointed at any would be world conquerors who still think bunk beds are a viable choice. Falling off once should be enough to realise they’re not great. 000
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 21/10/2025Can’t believe Big Filing Cabinet has you in their pocket Michael ☹️ 120
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 19/10/2025All these years I thought The Pink Panther was a comedy and now I find out it was a gritty true crime thriller 020
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 15/10/2025Good point, I’ll just go and get my pitch fork 010
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 15/10/2025Well now I feel a fool for ever not getting how truly tall Mount Everest is 130
Reposted by James ConnellyAditya Mukerjee 🦦 🏳️🌈 @chimeracoder.bsky.social · 21/08/2025RT if you also wish ill upon JK Rowling. 2632269521978
Reposted by James ConnellyAl Jazeera English @aljazeera.com · 11/08/2025Al Jazeera Media Network condemns the targeted assassination of its correspondents Anas Al Sharif and Mohammeel Qraiqea, along with photographers Ibrahim Al Thaher, and Mohamed Nofal, by Israeli forces. #JournalismIsNotACrime 451758985
Reposted by James Connellyderek van vliet @derek.bike · 09/08/2025this 3 act story has something for everyone 573051929
Reposted by James Connellyhaunt-a willow 🐈⬛🐦⬛🔮🖤✨ @hanawillow.kim · 19/07/2025need more guys that sound exactly like this tbh 11448141
Reposted by James ConnellyDan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 19/07/2025holy shit lmao 480262384964
Reposted by James Connelly🏳️🌈 HeroRareheart 🏳️⚧️ @herorareheart.hyperscat.com · 14/07/2025Finally, I can post this video I've been hanging on to since somebody sent it to me. 5129921132
Reposted by James ConnellyWilliam Gibson @greatdismal.bsky.social · 01/07/2025I imagined the Chatsubo in 1984. 41 years later I opened its door. Neuromancer is in production. 30573111857
Reposted by James ConnellyKneecap @kneecapceol.bsky.social · 26/06/2025Kneecap is not the story. Genocide in Gaza is. 7527711270
Reposted by James ConnellySmooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 19/11/2024Lucy van Pelt has finally gone too far. But she will be brought to justice 6476572360
Reposted by James ConnellyChef Kennedy🐸🏳️🌈 @kennedy.northsky.social · 19/04/2025"Trans people have always existed" That's simply not possible because people haven't always existed. There was a time before people, and so therefore, there was a time before trans people. And in that time, there were trans dinosaurs. 391134204
Reposted by James ConnellySenator Bernie Sanders @sanders.senate.gov · 18/03/2025Netanyahu has not allowed any food, water, or fuel into Gaza in two weeks. Now he has resumed bombing, killing hundreds of people and breaking the ceasefire that had given Gaza a chance to live again. NO MORE MILITARY AID TO ISRAEL. 414163074072
Reposted by James ConnellyAdam Schwarz @adamjschwarz.bsky.social · 05/03/2025French Senator Claude Malhuret: "Washington has become Nero’s court, with an incendiary emperor, submissive courtiers and a jester high on ketamine... We were at war with a dictator, we are now at war with a dictator backed by a traitor." 16528123825608
Reposted by James ConnellyJon Cooper @joncooper-us.bsky.social · 25/12/2024I love how Denmark isn’t taking any shit from Donald Trump. 🇩🇰 🤣 15623481310751
Reposted by James Connellyborderless @borderless.bsky.social · 10/12/2024BlueSky is trying to monetize so let's show them some numbers: Reskeet this if you refuse to pay for BlueSky+ until trust & safety decides to prioritize marginalized users. That's $96 / year of lost revenue for each reskeet... 1811025211118
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 06/12/2024Shot with bullets that have pasta, carrots and celery scratched into them 062
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 04/12/2024Bane seems to have forgotten his Captain America shield 010
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 26/11/2024If anything, the boy Watson is too honest by staying on his feet 110
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 20/11/2024I've spotted you used a capital h in step 2, can you explain how you managed to do this please Sir Michael? 030
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 13/11/2024Can't believe Big Numbers have got to you Michael 170
Reposted by James Connellyrobert j bennett, ceo, results omega @robertjbennett.bsky.social · 04/11/2024FFFFFFFUCK OFFFFFFF 2429537
James Connelly @funinfunerals.bsky.social · 10/10/2024After 9 but not as late as quarter past or else you’d say quarter past 110
![The scene is a LATE NIGHT CHAT SHOW, present day. The audience are clapping the host who is starting the show.
On the center of the wall behind the host is a huge version of the famous Author Portrait of William Shakespeare from the First Folio - the image is the iconic one we have of Shakespeare, ruff, beard, bald].
[Close up on the HOST.]
HOST:
And now - l can't believe I'm actually saying this...
Please welcome. through the newly invented Time Portal..
[We see now that there is a glowing hi tech box on the stage]
HOST:
MR… WILLIAM… SHAKESPEARE!
[Huge applause, whoops, cheering from the audience]
[Through the Time Portal comes WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE - grinning and waving to the audience, revelling in the attention. He has a full, glorious, brown, flowing head of hair.]
SHAKESPEARE, still smiling glancing up at the huge author portrait on stage]:
Who's the bald guy?
HOST:
That's your author portrait!
It's the only one we've had of you for the past 400 years.
[Shakespeare again. His grin is fixed but waning. He looks at the host. Back at the bald portrait. We see it again. It is really very bald. Shakespeare looks a it. His grin is fading ever so slightly now. He looks back at the host.]
HOST:
I believe it was put at the front of your collected works after you died by your lifelong rival, Ben Jonson.
[Shakespeare again. Shakespeare’s smile has gone now. He looks back at the host. He looks back at the bald portrait. He looks at the host again. Then he abruptly turns and walks back out of shot]]
SHAKESPEARE:
COME HERE JONSON YOU FU- [Words truncated as he disappears back in time through the portal, while the host runs trying to catch him]
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiedk4wnxtgxhhx3scdw3evxkpi3pd2xjflkw4nhb4a4migrlew6yu)
![[scene is a press conference at CERN. The head of CERN, Mark Thompson, and Ursula Bassler, a high-up director at CERN, are speaking to journalists in a press conference room with a screen behind them]
THOMPSON:
Ladies and gentlemen, We are honoured to announce
...we've found dark matter.
[audience]:
APPLAUSE
WHOO
THOMPSON:
Our observations have conclusively proved that the mysterious matter prevalent throughout the entire universe...
[He pauses, removes his glasses, closes his eyes, rubs them as if tired]
...Is Biscoff.
JOURNALIST:
What
THOMPSON:
It's Biscoff.
[Show behind them a photo of deep space, with black blobs throughout it and the Biscoff logo in all of them]
THOMPSON:
Yeah. We were quite annoyed to be honest.
URSULA BASSLER:
According to the data, 95% of the Universe is in fact a delicious collab with the Lotus Bakeries corporation.
[Ursula also looking despondent now, rubbing her head with her hand, looking down, ashamed]
And unfortunately for the scientific community, this is also strong evidence for the existence...
...of The Great Influencer.
[On the screen behind them, an image has appeared of a typical annoying food influencer, with a YouTube thumbnail style image of the blonde, mistachioed, young influencer making a dumb "OOOH" face and the title: 'THE VOID x BISCOFF!?!]
URSULA BASSLER:
It seems that everything was created by a cosmic god who just had some kind of viral recipe idea which "You just gotta try guys."
11
[silent pause as the scientists look despondently at the image on screen of the Cosmic Influencer]
12
THOMPSON [Looking away in disgust]:
Honestly I'm so pissed off.
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreic23surlal65tcrschamspm2ns5g5l6cyxcylxlclp4echinxqwbi)
![[Scene is heaven, in clouds. JESUS, acting as God’s PA, is briefing God, a big ball of light with arms sat at an executive desk, with a computer on it].
Jesus [holding a tablet computer]:
OK, so -
The next one to check in on is…
‘Earth’.
God: Spelling?
Jesus: E-A-R-T-H.
[God types into the computer]
tap-tap-tap-tap-tap. Tap.
God: F—ing hell.
What’s happened here!?
We need to complain - get me the manager.
Jesus: Uh, well, the most powerful one is…
[Jesus turns his iPad round to show God. We can’t see the screen]
God: What is that.
I mean, it’s been a while but that’s definitely not how I designed them. Are you sure we’ve got the right planet?
Jesus: Yes, this is the… top human.
God: Off and on it again
Jesus: I’ll book the meteor
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiblqrz666ald2ptzqnno6lgs5tpfqqus3mqyvwop4hitu67n3r4ma)
![Cartoon by Stephen Collins for The Guardian. Script as follows:
[scene is Winston Churchill in a bbc studio, giving his 'finest hour' speech]
1
CHURCHILL:
The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us.
2
CHURCHILL:
Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this Island or lose the war.
3
CHURCHILL:
If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free
and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sun-
BBC PRESENTER:
Thank you prime minister
4
BBC PRESENTER:
Mr hitler, your response?
5
HITLER [in the studio]:
Vell zis is hysterical woke nonsense as usual from mr Churchill
6
HITLER:
What we are proposing -
CHURCHILL:
Hang on
7
HITLER:
Let me finish - what we are proposing eez a simple power-sharing arrangement -
8
CHURCHILL:
What's he doing here
BBC PRESENTER:
It's important we hear both sides of the debate
9
CHURCHILL:
This isn't a debate
You don't debate fascists
10
HITLER:
Oh here we go with ze Godwins law!
11
HITLER:
Why must you people always compare ze things you don't like to 'fascists, Nazis, Hitler'...
CHURCHILL:
Because you are a fascist Nazi Hit-
12
HITLER [standing up, saluting]:
RAUSS!
BBC PRESENTER:
*Please* Mr Churchill let him speak
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibw4ldc3fhslbvxgy2oqrof2oys5kpgh7zu6a5f3usmx3lf4547qm)
