Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 10/08/2026i'm developing new strategies for earning passive-agressive income 0110
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 18/07/2026i've always told festivals and clubs that my bio is "known for her dark wit and bizarre odor" but they always edit it to something like "fearless stage presence". cowards 0180
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 18/07/2026i work under at least four different guys whose job i could do better than them. they get paid more then me to bloviate endlessly and then rely heavily on my expertise and real output. why is this 060
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 18/06/2026woman who's husband didn't make her cum before he finished: noooo pleeease babe i've got blue flaps it hurts so bad 0100
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 28/02/2026Stop saying the US is invading Iran for the oil. The US is invading Iran for the love of the game 0102
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 14/01/2026"abolish ice" won't hurt dems in the midterms nearly as much as the power they ceded to the wealthy elites, which has (rightfully) cost them the trust of normal americans 0294
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 03/01/2026Stop saying the US is invading Venezuela for the oil. The US is invading Venezuela for the love of the game 0232
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 01/01/20262026 predictions: - Biden dies (old age) - Trump dies (7th assassination attempt) - anti-aging billionaire dies (chokes on a carrott) - Taylor Swift dies (private jet is a boeing) - Drake dies (testicular cancer) - Musk dies (tesla explodes) 2220
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 14/12/2025it's the war on Christmas and we're bringing democracy to the north pole 191
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 14/12/2025maybe the hamburger helper is just dressing for the job he wants 062
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 12/12/2025i love dating. i love finding out that i'm not good enough over and over 1140
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 12/12/2025no i love it when you watch my stories but don't text back it's hot 040
Reposted by TanyaBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 11/12/2025Okay gang, The Onion is 80 sign-ups away from our 60,000th print subscriber. This would put us in contention for the Top 10 most circulated newspapers in the U.S. So! We're giving our 60,000th subscriber a mystery box by our archivist as a nice lil thank you. Sign up now. I'd give it an hour.membership.theonion.comJoin The OnionDon’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news. 441682309
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 12/12/2025a hot guy getting CTE is like a hot girl getting a BBL. stop it, you were already perfect 050
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 12/12/2025i met with a trauma surgeon but he said he couldn't do anything about my childhood 040
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 12/12/2025i need to hire the witch who cursed me because she did a very good job 031
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 12/12/2025thank god i'm so lazy. if not i would have killed myself dozens of times by now 050
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 12/12/2025magazines used to be cool. they used to be about touching girls butts and the desperate attempt to save 33 men trapped underground. now they're only about CEOs and semen retention 040
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 12/12/2025excited to announce that i'm dating a professional surfer (couch) 060
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 01/10/2025i can't believe it's already been a month since joe biden passed away 0151
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 01/10/2025[dying of a totally preventable disease]... tell my sister i lover her... [cough]... and ... make an ai of me where i have an absolutely huge dumper... m-make that thing hu[cough violently for 30 full seconds] 0130
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 01/10/2025i'd like to see an ai do THIS [loses hope in an unfathomably new way] 0110
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 01/10/2025woke up in the middle of the night to draw a reverse cowgirl 260
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 07/08/2025when you're being nice to me this is who you're being nice to 0180
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 07/08/2025[replying to my sister's text] ...and is there a mister carriage? 0211
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 05/08/2025wow i can't believe ghislaine maxwell committed suicide next week 1533255
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 08/07/2025it was a complicated 17 hour surgery but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist 311015
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 03/01/20252025 predictions: - Biden dies (old age) - Trump dies (7th assassination attempt) - Anti-aging billionaire dies (chokes on a carrot) - Taylor Swift dies (private jet is a boeing) - Drake dies (testicular cancer) - Musk dies (tesla explodes) 3353
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 31/12/2024i actually read the Odyssey in the original greek. complete waste of time, i have no idea what those symbols mean 662065151
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 11/12/2024thanks to inflation, Subway is now measuring the footlong from the taint 2454
