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And the size of the rallies, don't forget them.

040

"I took a man who'd won a huge majority in the leadership election and made him nearly as popular as Nick Timothy."

140

Wasn't he the mastermind behind Corbyn's inexorable rise in popularity and overwhelming victory in his first general election? Man knows how to pick a winner.

380

Sadly, I have a head-count freeze this year, otherwise your simply asking for a job technique would probably have 100% worked.

Andrew R @excelpope.net · 5h

I hope you replied, "Bloody idiots."

020

Hah, yes. I muted them.

Andrew R @excelpope.net · 5h

Then again, I once invited someone for an interview because their CV mentioned that they'd written an academic paper on insertion techniques for penile catheters, and how could you not want to meet that person? He turned out to be a great employee, though, so my method works.

170

Andrew R @excelpope.net · 5h

Well, it's been nearly 3 weeks now, so I must sadly report that "You're idiots" doesn't seem to work as a covering letter. For the record, if you ever apply to me for a job it will 100% work and I will invite you in for an interview just to argue with you.

290

Guessed which way around this was and, fortunately, got it right. Parseword #245 ⚡️ 13s 💎 Perfect

David Quantick @quantick.bsky.social · 11h

STAR TREK THE NEXT GENERATION OPENER: "We are on a routine diplomatic mission to get some paperwork sig… WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING???"

030

Reposted by Andrew R

STAR TREK ORIGINAL OPENER: "The Klingons have surrounded us and all hope is lost." STAR TREK STRANGE NEW WORLDS OPENER: "I've just been on a training course which I found extremely useful."

4214

Reposted by Andrew R

Finn @thegoblinpoet.bsky.social · 12h

hold up - will confidently interject on any subject, often with significant errors - can't actually read, instead relies on an elaborate method of parsing context through structure & likely words - looks financially impressive, actually built on huge amounts of unsustainable debt

27822

It's kind of hard to tell that, visually, though. Not for long, though, my vote for Kemi at the next general election is contingent on her promising to bring back branding as a punishment.

140

It's just an endless list of things they no longer believe. First they stop believing that you've got their nose, then it's the tooth fairy & Santa, then that you're cool, then capitalism, then that you've turned "their" old bedroom into a study, and finally that you've left it all to the cats' home

0180

Ant & Dec make it easy for you by always standing in alphabetical order, left to right, from the viewer's perspective. Image search them and you'll see it's true.

Andrew R @excelpope.net · 22h

At least Danni got away early to give her plenty of time to pack her trunk for the new term at Hogwarts. #GBBO

241

That was just annoying and really needed an extra word in the clue. Parseword #244 ⚡️ 1m0s 💎 Perfect 🚴‍♀️ Secret Found

120

"The Yonks thank that the RAF min may be foreign act whores."

0122

Good luck, I sent John le Carre the best bits from my new Bond novel, for his approval, and he didn't even reply to my email.

My money is on this all being a publicity stunt by Osman, to promote the exciting new character appearing in his next Thursday Murder Club book.

020

"I would not have released those people on bail," says the man who has repeatedly criticised the decision to release 5 other guys, even after their conviction was overturned on DNA evidence.

510915

A significant find. I hope one day that the ancient runes on it can be translated, what a fascinating insight they'd offer on how people lived in the distant past.

190

Bloody hell, I got 5 out of 6 on round 2 of Only Connect. Have they made it easier or am I having a brain-bettering attack?

240

*Wearily resets the "[x] days since I was reminded what a massive cock Rob Delaney is" sign*

The Secret Barrister @barristersecret.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Reposted by Andrew R

Well THIS is delightful! #TheCutThroatTrial is a @waterstones.bsky.social Paperback of The Year! Available on an outrageous special offer here, if you fancy enthralling/terrifying/disgusting those you hold dear. www.waterstones.com/book/the-cut...

99914

I think it was a Viz letter that suggested that proctologists should get a tattoo of a dotted line around their bicep, with "World record" written along it.

160

In fairness, I'd pay more to go on the London Eye if it was the size of the Isle of Wight. And providing they pressurised the little cars, obvs.

030

Obligatory, um, Calvin & Hobbes…

220

I know it's not Sunday any more but I thought you'd want to see this...

Parseword #243 ⚡️ 14s 💎 Perfect

Star Wars Episode X…

2130

Hey, life's tough when you've been born too late to be cast in Goodfellas.

"… made glorious summer by fucking this son of York."

It's a song by Cler, I think.

Sadly not. It's hard to get metrics on that.

Well, let's have some Sunday stats, with a whole new feature, to celebrate this thread's ½ birthday (tomorrow)…

200

"I know a hawk from a fucking handsaw."

5131

A lot of words, but fairly easy to put together. Parseword #242 ⚡️ 33s 💎 Perfect

120

Andrew R @excelpope.net · 26/09/2026

Is there something you're not telling us, DoS?

150

Good choice. I'm not even reading the book until December 1st, in case it spoils one of my first-of-the-month new calendar reveals.

030

Andrew R @excelpope.net · 26/09/2026

Yeah, that was a bit knotty. Parseword #241 ⚡️ 56s 💎 Perfect

Katie Martin @katie0martin.ft.com · 25/09/2026

Reposted by Andrew R

I have blamed The agents That hacked Your website And which You probably Reasonably thought I controlled Forgive me I am rich And unaccustomed To taking responsibility

5776122095

My favourite one was where they asked me to do a PowerPoint presentation but said the subject was up to me, so they got 15 minutes on “Why I hate PowerPoint presentations” Got the job, though.

1110

I finally passed during a flu epidemic. So many examiners were off sick they were calling up retired ones, and mine wasn’t used to the traffic, so we spent 20 minutes sat in a traffic jam.

050

Oh, man, my shopping delivery arrived. Which Queen song did I miss?

100

I failed 3, the first one for swearing at my examiner when we had a disagreement about whether I should slow down for a roundabout or speed up, to get into a gap. He wanted to do it the boring way.

160

“It’s alright, I brought enough for everyone.” *Holds up Lidl carrier bag*

1131