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Monstro ElisaSue

@endoracameltoe.bsky.social
121 followers 65 following 245 posts

Neil deGrasse Tyson meets the girl from The Ring. Calmly buying things for myself based on your Amazon wishlists. 📍PHL ☉ ♌️ ☾ ♓️ ↥ ♏️

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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Last night I dreamt that Miu Miu released a new skincare product called TAINT. It was a pink serum and you applied it to your TAINT. Have a nice October! 🎃
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
United fucking sucks in general. I flew Polaris to Europe last fall and it was crap. Just switch to American Airlines. The FAs don’t put up with this kind of shit. www.complex.com/life/a/marke...
complex.com
United Airlines Investigating Incident of Passenger Being Made to Sit Next to Masturbating Man
United Airlines is investigating after a woman said a man...
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
The worst thing about traveling to Asia and back is that my pooping schedule is reversed 😡
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I’ve noticed in South Korea that people with children are very young. They also don’t stick an iPad in their face but instead make them color or draw. Oh, and if they start having a meltdown in a restaurant they TAKE THE KID OUTSIDE.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
There’s another gay on my trip much younger than I. So naturally I plan to be his fairy godmother from hell.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I FINALLY FOUND A BAR IN SEOUL. Please…clap…
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
I’ve been in South Korea for 12 hours and I already hate it here.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I truly love traveling to countries where no one speaks English. My only problem is that I cannot unleash and vent my rage in their language about how much it sucks living in the US now.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Currently flying JAL to Tokyo and I think I have a fetish for eating things that are slimy. NOT boiled okra. That is where I draw the line.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Currently at PHL and saw departure info for Wilmington DE. Turns out it’s not an actual flight. It’s a bus that departs from the airport and it is $555. Who in their right mind would go through TSA only to get on a fucking bus? Uber is cheaper.
static.klipy.com
Judge Judy Scratches Her Head
ALT: Judge Judy Scratches Her Head
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Reposted by Monstro ElisaSue
ebisback.bsky.social @ebisback.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Mitch is said to be working from home 🤣
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Guys, please. I don’t wanna see that Elizabeth Holmes and Nathan Fielder clip anymore.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Will I get shamed for wearing short shorts in Tokyo?
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
By all means, rename bodies of water instead of, I don’t know, making sure your food supply is safe. You know how that thrills us.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Chant this to all who care: 2 good, 1 bad 3 in a row 80 years old Please make it so #dollyparton #timcurry
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
If I’m gonna have to watch 9 to 5 and Clue this weekend then for the love of Christ can the universe include the brief cameo in Home Alone 2?
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
I considered getting ripped to the tits tonight over the passing of Dolly. But alas, I’ll just pop a lorazepam and dance in front of my mirror for 20 minutes à la Anna Nicole Smith.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Dolly Parton died. This is not THE obituary I wanted to read today. Why her and not the mediocrity of human FILTH that is abundant everywhere?
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
This is brilliant.
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Reposted by Monstro ElisaSue
New the Aethermancer @newrem.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Counting the number of food you can no longer eat in the US
A bare back of a guy with black lines drawn by a black marker to count something. A scene is supposedly a crop out from a porn scene.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
I just got suckered into answering the front door to Jesus people thinking it was UPS. Solution: tell them you’re Jewish. They’ll leave you alone 🙃✡️
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Almost had a heart attack but then I remembered I ate a black (aka beet-infused) quesadilla last night.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
I’m not dying anytime soon I guess.
static.klipy.com
Madison Montgomery: I'm Back
ALT: Madison Montgomery: I'm Back
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
My other half gave my gripper socks for my birthday 🥰🥰🥰
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
“It is what it is.” Yeah, but like, WHAT IS IT?
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Reposted by Monstro ElisaSue
lerrrgan @lerrrgan.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
all of us showing up to the bgb inactivation memorial service
A scene from The Devil Wears Prada with Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, and Emily Blunt wearing black dresses, but they've been edited to have huge knockers.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
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WidowsPique 🇨🇦 @widowspique.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
I 💝 Hillary.
Local man suggests jailing his own boss.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
I’m such a light sleeper, I could totally final girl the shit out of Nancy Thompson.
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Reposted by Monstro ElisaSue
scha·den·freu·de @blisterpearl.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Top panel is tiny planet Mercury in relation to the HUGE Sun.
Bottom panel is a similar image, a tiny "close ad" button in relation to the fingertip labeled "my finger" which fills nearly the entire panel.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
AIDS Flip Off Phone Sex RU-486 Tampon Tax
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
My red blood cell count is low so my doctor wants to check my iron levels in 2 weeks. TIME TO WRITE MY WILL ⚰️
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Reposted by Monstro ElisaSue
Mrs. Betty Bowers @mrsbettybowers.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
While the United States wastes billions of dollars a pointless war, China is cleaning our clock technologically. Instead of crying about Canadian smoke, Americas would have been better served if Donald Trump had made something like this happen.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
BF: where did you go? Me: pharmacy BF: you’re always going to the pharmacy it seems. Me: CRAZY PEOPLE HAVE THE BEST PILLS, SWEETIE!
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Just…died…
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
God I love Philly
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Lindsay Graham died? Anyways, my cat woke me up at 7:45 am by yacking up a hairball on the bed and now I’m 30 minutes short of an 8 hour sleep.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Guess I’m taking the subway to my trivia meetup tonight because I’d rather risk getting second hand from a crack pipe than walk in this heat.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
My third night on Quviviq made me dream I was giving a guy a Handy J at a funeral and his dick was shaped like a waffle cone.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Grocery prices keep going up but GLP-1 drugs are becoming more widely available. Coincidence?
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Reposted by Monstro ElisaSue
Floofy with a Chance of Spanakopita @floofytyrant.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Marilyn Monroe would’ve been 100 years old this month. So in her honour I’m doing a Marilyn Marathon. She starred in a total of 33 films both credited and uncredited. I’ll be watching all of them in order over the coming week or two.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
Cat toy idea! Put googly eyes on a tampon with no applicator. Magic marker the tail. Drive your puss-puss crazy. Meow 😻
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Has anyone ever actually gotten a job through LinkedIn or are we all just pretending that app works?
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
You’d think a trillionaire would be able to buy a nicer pair of tits.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
Dreading my 5 minute walk to the gym during a heat index of 105F.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
I just learned that he and I have the same birthday. I’m going to kms.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
I never thought I had the capacity to kill until I saw a performative prayer husband praying over his wife’s period on TikTok. I always wondered how much it would take to make me snap. That was it…
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
Normalize telling people their AI art sucks.
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
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Monstro ElisaSue @endoracameltoe.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
Does anyone in Philly own a dog that isn’t fucking insane?
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