Reposted by Draino DrinkerJon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 29/09/2026all the guys who made harambe jokes 10 years ago later experienced complete emotional breakdowns, became born-again evangelicals, and are now enthusiastic fans of the liberty biberty commercials 282095265
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 21/09/2026static.klipy.comAhoklollmao: Man Explains 'Of Course' with LaptopALT: Ahoklollmao: Man Explains 'Of Course' with Laptop 061
Reposted by Draino DrinkerJon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 10/09/2026i've developed a new persona for this season: The Football Dad. i'm a football fan – but i'm also a dad. you can expect a lot in the way of, "arrgh i want to watch the game, but my kid wants to watch sesame street! oh noooo haha." you all are in for something truly special 1679740
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 09/09/2026NL learning Chinese has ruined my life. Now whenever someone speaks Chinese I think of him and burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. I got fired from my job because I was laughing at every Chinese customer 090
Reposted by Draino DrinkerJon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 08/09/2026it’s fine to be skeptical of these things. i was a skeptic myself until recently. but i think fear is at the root of this skepticism, a fear of its power. people are simply not ready for what’s coming. it is powerful, it is alive, and it is quite possibly god 251918345
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 23/07/2026They’re still full price at the store I work at lol 000
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 09/07/2026I was just saying football is better than rugby. I do like soccer, but since all the European games are like 8am for me I usually just watch the goals. 030
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 08/07/2026oh so you're worried it'll make soccer more fun 260
Reposted by Draino DrinkerAmmnontet! @bleakvision.info · 19/10/2025BAH! Enough talk! My <Beam Blast> shall make short work of you! 4173602270
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 30/06/2026Germany had a great Cinderella story, but it takes a national team of a certain caliber to beat Paraguay. They’ll get there eventually when they grow their soccer culture to be as big as America’s 110
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 14/06/2026Must be very excited for their beloved Brooklyn Nets 030
Reposted by Draino DrinkerHTE Sports @htesports.bsky.social · 11/06/2026TEVE LABUBU NA ABERTURA DA COPA 2026 0338
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 06/06/2026If that’s true my ass is having babies every day 010
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 01/06/2026Turns out the tumblr leftists were right, communism *is* abolishing bedtimes 040
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 20/05/2026Most of it is shit he did over a decade ago, and the fact that the internet never forgets 010
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 25/04/2026And another thing, I’m not mad. Don’t put it in The Athletic that I’m mad! 030
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 25/04/2026So they're just drafting complete non-factors 000
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 24/04/2026Why didn’t you bring up the fart noise, Dan? Was it something you were trying to hide? 0150
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 24/04/2026media.tenor.coma man in a suit and tie is saying `` i guess bro '' while sitting at a table .ALT: a man in a suit and tie is saying `` i guess bro '' while sitting at a table . 000
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 24/04/2026media.tenor.coma black and white drawing of a woman with red eyes and the name luca.vg below herALT: a black and white drawing of a woman with red eyes and the name luca.vg below her 000
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 19/04/2026When the song about heroin changes tempo back and forth reflecting the euphoric highs and dopesick lows of heroin (mojo pin is the other)media.tenor.coma group of cartoon characters are sitting in a theater and one of them is yawningALT: a group of cartoon characters are sitting in a theater and one of them is yawning 050
Reposted by Draino DrinkerChris Kluwe @chriswarcraft.bsky.social · 06/04/2026Had a great time with Mike doing this interview, he’s an excellent reporter and a good dude. 462660
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 31/03/2026More time for him to watch The Faithful Sheriff 000
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 29/03/2026oh it's not a coincidence. They're laughing at us. 000
Reposted by Draino DrinkerDolphin Pilot @theamitie.bsky.social · 26/03/2026Can we get 10,000 RTs for this 6424061448
Reposted by Draino DrinkerJon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 19/03/2026college basketball is nonsense that must be done away with entirely. all these students should be busying themselves with schoolwork instead of wasting away the day with endless games of "hoops" 301232114
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 10/03/2026Think I'm gonna skip the Chinese time of my life and go straight to the Indian time of my life. Get ahead of the curve and all that. 020
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 08/03/2026My favorite version of this is all the videos about “the DARK SECRET behind OutKast’s biggest song” and they make Hey Ya sound like it’s about a serial killer 000
Reposted by Draino Drinkermayonnaise @mayonnaisenaise.bsky.social · 05/03/2026been waiting for this moment 320433
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 01/03/2026“Hey dude 20 dollars says you can’t jump the tank over that river” 030
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 28/02/2026I have a confession: I lie and tell women I’m a racist League of Legends streamer on Kick so they’ll sleep with me 010
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 24/02/2026Racist guy with Tourette’s who says BLM in the middle of a Klan rally 010
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 24/02/2026media.tenor.coma group of men wearing green jackets with the number 001 on the frontALT: a group of men wearing green jackets with the number 001 on the front 000
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 24/02/2026White people when they hear there’s a buy one get one 50% off salemedia.tenor.coma blurred image of a crowd of people dancing in the darkALT: a blurred image of a crowd of people dancing in the dark 000
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 23/02/2026Realest shit ever since written (I just got a Corolla hmu ladies) 001
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 21/02/2026Been getting into Tame Impala lately. These guys are so good, the members have great synergy with each other, working together surprisingly well for a band that mashes a lot of genres together. Definitely one of my favorite rock groups of the 2010s 010
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 20/02/2026Its too late, I’ve drawn myself as the scary lion and you as the frightful boy 040
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 19/02/2026I think the only good idea there is banning back to back top 4 picks. Teams will still tank but there’s a difference between a 1 year retooling like the Pacers and the same team tanking year after year 000
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 16/02/2026Nonbinary submissive who gets turned on when people say "good goy" 000
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 16/02/2026Sometimes I wonder how my old pediatrician Dr Epstein has been handling everything recently 000
Draino Drinker @draino-drinker.bsky.social · 10/02/2026Imagine if women had to breastfeed babies using their boobies 010
![FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
JON BUYS NEW CAN OPENER
“It was time,” says Bluesky personality
NEW YORK – Jon Bois (@jonbois.bsky.social) announced Saturday afternoon that he had purchased a new can opener. The utensil it is replacing has been in Jon’s possession for “well over a decade,” but after many years of satisfactory performance, wear and tear had at last begun to take its toll.
“I’m not positive of exactly when or where I got it,” says Jon, “but I know I took it with me when I moved [from Louisville to New York in 2014]. I’m pretty sure I had it for a solid couple of years before that at least. If I had to pick a year, I’d say 2011. I most likely would have bought it at the Kroger on Goss in Louisville, since I lived nearby at the time.
“Who really knows, though. I don’t keep very good records on that stuff.”
The new can opener, purchased at a nearby grocery store for $3.99, figures to see light to moderate use – perhaps two to three times per week – in Jon’s household, and it’s expected to last roughly as long as the old can opener. “We need to open cans of stuff on a regular basis,” he explains. “Tomatoes, beans, coconut milk, tuna, you name it. All I really expect is that it stays in decent shape without wearing out or breaking or something. There’s nothing worse than when you’re in the middle of making dinner, you don’t have any way to open a can of something, and you realized you’re [totally] out of luck.”
The acquisition had been in the works for several weeks, Jon says. “The teeth in the gear in the old one were starting to rust, and we’d been noticing that the wheel hadn’t been cutting as well lately. It seemed like it just wasn’t getting a good grip on the lid of the can the way it used to. I didn’t want to wait for it to break entirely before getting a new one. It was totally a good can opener as far as those things go. It just wore out, that’s all.”
Media Contact: Jon Bois (operator, @jonbois.bsky.social Bluesky account)
###](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ovioxia6nlp5luphgf5ovg7p/bafkreiecxm42wvb5kha622kfw6yh533hgu53hlfwoxbxklvt77xxmkpe2i)
![ATTACHED MEDIA
[photo of two can openers sitting on a table]
LEFT: Jon’s old can opener. RIGHT: Jon’s new can opener, still in the package.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ovioxia6nlp5luphgf5ovg7p/bafkreiea2mbqkcayh4qwfegql77a77cnnccz5dvuaqdcjvsu2nmhr6qrn4)
