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dave wagner

@davewagner.bsky.social
33K followers 3.4K following 9.4K posts

two things make me happy and two things only: turgid, unworkable political theory and surly cats всё идёт по плану

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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 5h
smh they're shameless
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Melissa Gira Grant @melissagiragrant.com · 11h
reading this, recalling how quickly the killing of Minnesota Rep. Melissa Hortman slipped out of the news
phoenixnewtimes.com
Congressional candidate is raped while repairing her campaign signs
Embarrassed, she initially didn’t want to report attack. Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office's investigation is ongoing.
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 6h
so many of their songs would be total bangers if they were just baltimore club
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 9h
i feel this more and more every day
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 6h
nothing good, that's for fucking sure
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 12h
it was basically me, jorts, and gonzo for like ten years here. or it just seemed like ten years
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
🚨 ENDORSEMENT ALERT 🚨 Chancleta has been endorsed by a family of three random raccoons who saw him from outside. One of them even stood on our patio chair on two legs, like a person. This is incredible news for Sandal's campaign to represent whatever it is he is running for.
A mock political endorsement graphic on a blue gradient background. At the top left is a photo of three raccoons beside the words “A FAMILY OF THREE RANDOM RACCOONS.” Below, red text reads “PROUDLY ENDORSES,” followed by “CHANCLETA” in large white letters. At the bottom right is a large photo of Chancleta, an orange-and-white cat looking directly at the camera.
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Crits For Cats, Inc. Cat Rescue @crits4cats.org · 30/09/2026
It’s been another expensive kitten season and I know we are all struggling, but if you have even a few extra bucks to help us save our girl, please send them our way. linktr.ee/crits4cats
linktr.ee
Crits For Cats, Inc Cat Rescue Official: TikTok, Instagram, X, Facebook, Twitch, Threads | Linktree
A small cat rescue in Eastern Maryland focused on TNR, Fostering, & Adoption
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
100%
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
in cat years he's quite old, which fits in with our current system really well
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
i love this so much
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absinthe makes the heart grow fonder @absintheofcolor.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
a challenger appears
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
*sure could. damn it i cannot even blame my phone for that one
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
maybe all of those, who's to say
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Uneasy Writer @uneasywriter.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
The die is cast.
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
it is
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Laskinator @laskinator.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Finally, a candidate running in an election I can actually feel 100% good about voting for. And with the Raccoon endorsement... I mean, how could you not??
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
(knocks on door) "have you heard that a family of three random raccoons has endorsed Chancleta in his campaign for something?" (aggressively hands homeowner a flyer) "Do you have a plan to vote? TELL ME THE PLAN"
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
oh yeah, haha, of course. absolutely. 100%. that's how it will work. yes.
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
oh boy i should could!
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Manny Suazo @smokyburnout.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
that would be a good cat political poster too 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐀 is running for 𝙉𝙊 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙎𝙊𝙉
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
write him in, it couldn't hurt
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
but he can't win whatever he's trying to win without your help. Chancleta's opponents, whoever they may be, have -- or may have -- the support of Wicked Special Interests who probably put their seats back on airplanes whenever they want. Donate here and stand with Chancleta for something or other
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
oh jeez here we go
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
in retrospect, i should have put some disembodied heads in weird little circles, people love that shit in endorsement graphics
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Andy Famiglietti @afamiglietti.org · 06/10/2026
I don't know what I am voting for Chancleta to be, but I am voting for him. I don't know what district, state, or country he is in. I will move there. I will naturalize if needed.
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
🚨 ENDORSEMENT ALERT 🚨 Chancleta has been endorsed by a family of three random raccoons who saw him from outside. One of them even stood on our patio chair on two legs, like a person. This is incredible news for Sandal's campaign to represent whatever it is he is running for.
A mock political endorsement graphic on a blue gradient background. At the top left is a photo of three raccoons beside the words “A FAMILY OF THREE RANDOM RACCOONS.” Below, red text reads “PROUDLY ENDORSES,” followed by “CHANCLETA” in large white letters. At the bottom right is a large photo of Chancleta, an orange-and-white cat looking directly at the camera.
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
this is fucking news to me, that's not what i thought this was
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
yeung's tweet must go so hard if you're dumb as shit
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Is that glass bulletproof? No sir
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
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Garth Marenghi's Catbus @catbus.phd · 05/10/2026
PSA 📽️
HOUSE (1977)
dir: Nobuhiko Obayashi

fluffy white cat sitting in a woman's lap captioned 

only a witch cat can close a door
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
the other day i got into a car in cyberpunk 2077 and turned on the autodrive feature so i could relax. the car immediately turned onto the sidewalk and repeatedly ran over a pedestrian. it then just sat there. so anyway, i feel like i have a good sense for how these tesla robotaxies will work.
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
the other day i got into a car in cyberpunk 2077 and turned on the autodrive feature so i could relax. the car immediately turned onto the sidewalk and repeatedly ran over a pedestrian. it then just sat there. so anyway, i feel like i have a good sense for how these tesla robotaxies will work.
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
wow, you're gonna light it up like dynamite. shining through the city with a little funk and soul, one might say.
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
damn those are some terrible rental rules
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
for the first time since tracking began, more American households have kittens than puppies. there is a reason for this: homeownership is declining, and homeowners are twice as likely as renters to own dogs. did cats engineer the housing crisis? i'll be honest: it is now more likely than not.
Freya, a fluffy gray cat, sits packed into a woven basket by the window, staring at the camera with a distinctly displeased, suspicious expression.
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
and booze, right?
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/int...
washingtonpost.com
Opinion | The dog versus cat rivalry is age-old. But something is shifting.
New trends in pet ownership reflect the state of the U.S. economy.
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
for the first time since tracking began, more American households have kittens than puppies. there is a reason for this: homeownership is declining, and homeowners are twice as likely as renters to own dogs. did cats engineer the housing crisis? i'll be honest: it is now more likely than not.
Freya, a fluffy gray cat, sits packed into a woven basket by the window, staring at the camera with a distinctly displeased, suspicious expression.
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
you could ride one of these deer like a horse imo
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
he's going to, don't worry
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
he's going to, don't worry
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
14 and in his prime
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Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I don't deny that dogs can sometimes be quite lovely but what I will say is I don't trust their opinions. If a cat recommended me an album it had bought, I'd totally check it out. If a dog did the same, I'd promise to listen to the album, out of politeness, with no intention of actually doing so
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
he hasn't liked those for a number of years sadly
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
we're well past that
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
in his old age, Sandal has become a terror at night. he wakes us up by meowing until we bring him food. he insists we put the bowl on the bed. i find this frustrating, but that's not really fair. if i could have someone deliver me food in bed whenever i wanted, i'd basically never do anything else.
Sandal, a large orange-and-white cat, sits on a rug staring intently at the camera. Behind him, Freya, a fluffy gray cat, lurks partially hidden in a basket by the window.
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
that's their culture though
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dave wagner @davewagner.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
can't even turn his head in that thing, what a pain
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