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Political ad where two worried seniors at the kitchen table fret that our military is not "High T" enough

Reposted by Dan Hopper

Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 04/01/2025

Yes, I fell for the "Got your nose" trick, but that shouldn't distract us from the real issue of nose theft in our society

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Applied for some random job, got a boilerplate rejection email, then a followup survey saying "We'd love feedback on your application journey!" JOURNEY might be UNDERselling it!!!

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

My mom sends me 4 Facebook videos a day about motherhood or being a grandma that are ten trillion times more earnest than any emotional exchange we have ever had

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Restaurant hostess was drinking an iced coffee when she sat us. Are you NOT PLUGGED INTO THE DISCOURSE????

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Brandon Cisse “White Male”

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Trump (at UN podium, looking straight down) Effective immediately, sitting Criss Cross Applesauce will again be called sitting Indian Style LibsOfTikTok (QTing some kindergarten’s post from 2018) Inner city school DEFYING our president @FBI @DOJ

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

My nose when the temperature drops 5 degrees

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

RIP Gerrit Graham - “Take THAT, Guernica” and at least a dozen other line deliveries will live in my head forever

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

People say the term “cult favorite” gets overused but I personally believe my kid’s microwaveable nuggets are the new Rocky Horror

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Reposted by Dan Hopper

Nicolas Dream, PhD @afraidofwasps.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

(acting in American Psycho but I forgot my lines) wow... business card.... a perfect rectangle... white, with words on it... All the key information is on here Jared Leto: (also forgot his lines) Plus it has Dope Handfeel as well

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Re: that Sunday Ticket commercial, I’d be pretty pissed if I invited friends over, they insisted on watching other games, and I had to watch a four-way splitscreen for 3 hours

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Downloading the Taco Bell app to learn more about the Taco Bell Live Mas Student Section

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

I recently resigned from my role at Anthropic, as I can no longer condone the company's decision to develop the weird amphibious military drone from the Robin Williams movie "Toys" - the company seems to know it's pointless but fear OpenAI will beat them to it (1/?)

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

That Vivek batting video was eerily similar to an old family VHS of kid-me in a batting cage telling the camera which various A’s sluggers were batting as I whiffed at pitch after pitch, once dropping the bat while 4 pitches sailed by

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Saw a road worker with a vest that said “Working like CRAZY to support the LAZY” - Can anyone do anything anymore without fucking bitching about it?

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Rewatched National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon and it's not "good" but I did laugh at this joke

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

This mysterious stranger on the train keeps suggesting a scheme where we commit murders for one another - ??

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

It’s usually a good sign when a football conference issues a statement and the first 9000 comments are people quoting “1984”

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Reposted by Dan Hopper

SaraKateW @sarakatew.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

I have no idea what happened in the football game, but why does this look like the back cover of a Dean Koontz novel ©️1983.

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

The Michigan / Western Michigan game teeing that up for the upcoming week of sportstalk shows

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

John Fetterman blowing off the children's hospital and paralyzed veterans

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

TONY SCOTT: I need you to punch up the dialogue for this script, Crimson Tide - just don't make it TOO obvious you worked on it QUENTIN TARANTINO: You got it [FINAL PRODUCT] GENE HACKMAN: Who do you think you are, sailor, SONNY CHIBA in 1975’s criminally underrated THE BULLET TRAIN??

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

I don’t gamble but I get that same rush from buying a $20 sauce at a farmer’s market that I might not ever use

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Reposted by Dan Hopper

ceej @ceej.online · 05/09/2025

going to bed is so embarrassing. sorry, my brain needs to watch a movie. please don’t kill me

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

2013 Viral Tweet: Face down, ass up, that’s the way we like to watch How The States Got Their Shapes with Brian Unger 2026 Viral Tweet: Gen Z gonna lose it when they find out what he did to cats (pic of Alf)

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Cannot get over this name for a faith-based surf supply company

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

There’s no way it’s canon that every Disney princess is an Eagles fan

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Oh hell yeah you better BELIEVE I’m gonna get a puzzle started in the vacation rental and render the lone table UNUSABLE

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Got rejected by a job and the email said “but you can still follow us on our Instagram, Twitter and TikTok” - yes, the thing I am the most going to do

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Not the most important thing right now but beer league jerseys are a SCOURGE of AI logos right now. Asking the one artistic person on the team to draw something up is a dying art

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

On a business' website I checked "I do not want to receive text messages" and immediately got a text saying "You have successfully opted out of receiving SMS notifications." Good bit

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Introducing my 2 year old to Randy Newman. Good Old Boys tomorrow

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Reposted by Dan Hopper

Fart Vision @slugworlds.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

me as football coach whos always like "oh, too hard for you? rather go home and watch barney??" during every practice and one time i blow up and take it too far and stop practice to put on barney for real as a humiliation rite but it becomes clear im actively watching it and really do like barney

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Your mom busted in and said WHAT’S THAT NOISE Aw mom you’re just jealous it’s the

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Imagining some psychopath buying Good & Plenty at the grocery store and eating it at home. Harrowing

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

Easiest way to go viral 5 years ago was to post "Did anyone else want to eat this food SO BADLY????" then like this pic

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I can't think of a coy way to say "hey I wrote this" but hey I wrote this Final Jeopardy question for ESPN Jeopardy that people keep sending to me!

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

I think my least favorite type of post is when someone’s like “I regret to inform, Trump has posted another banger…” and it’s a screenshot of him going “Lindsey Graham was a great man (but fat!!!)”

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

If The Simpsons took place today, their house would be worth four hundred million dollars. Homer's income adjusted for inflation would be one billion dollars per second; the pink car would be so valuable, only the Sultan of Brunei could possess it. Every person in 1987 had this

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

People on here going a *little* extra hard to prove how much they miss nudity in movies. “Back in my day we were all JACKIN IT IN THE THEATER to ROBERT DUVALL mooning John Travolta in PHENOMENON”

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

The opening scene from Apocalypse Now was entirely improvised by the actors on the day of the shooting. The scripted line was "here we are in Vietnam, ladies" but on one take, they decided to go "all out" and destroy the jungle. Francis Ford Coppola loved it so much, he kept it in the finished film

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

I was texting my dad MLB trade deadline updates throughout the day and he finally texted me back at 8 pm “yeah”

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Suitors stringing the bow of Odysseus epic FAIL compilation .mp4

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

I wrote for this and it premieres today! Check it out if you also get annoyed that regular Jeopardy has like 1 sports question per episode and it turns out to technically be a geography question and you're like COME on!!!

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Dan Hopper @danhopp.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Sports teams unveiling a new third jersey are always like "the brown stripe is a nod to our town's original nickname, Sewer City"

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Reposted by Dan Hopper

Chris 𓅨 @bigjuncofan.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

We all have that one homie who scholars theorize was not a single individual, but a collection of different authors

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