iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 02/10/2026

26 years ago, the love of my life and I ran off to Ireland and said a series of "I do" and "I will" in front of a few members of our family and friends (okay, and the Catholic Church). I still don't know what she was thinking, but I'm glad she chose that day to make so many bad decisions.

A smokin' hot babe and a dumpy middle-aged man hugging each other on a cloudy day in front of a church in Doolin, County Clare, Ireland.

1120

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 02/10/2026

Thank you for legitimizing my anxieties and need to check my flight times about 30-50 times in the week before my departure....

011

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 02/10/2026

Just so ya know, Irish is a *really* hard language to learn, since it doesn't share linguistic roots of the more common languages. So much so that most Irish above 30 don't know much more than, "where is the bathroom".

010

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 01/10/2026

I literally do this to determine if it's worth having an all-hands. Or when I'm trying to get out of attending another stupid "we want everyone on the call".

030

Reposted by Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division

Jun34u @jun34u.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

You know Jane Doe. Crime statistics say it’s 1 in 3, but it’s somehow every single woman I’ve talked to. You want to doxx someone? Go ahead and give them my name. Your sister’s. Your wife’s. Your mother’s.

Post by real-life king of dipshits @mtracey with the following absolutely horrific ask:

If you happen to know who this Cornell "Jane Doe" is, get in touch and I would be happy to publish her name and identifying information. And yes -- this is 100% permitted under the First Amendment, whatever threats or emotional blackmail people might want to deploy

(Back to my commentary) fuck him. Fuck this. I’m Jane Doe. Half the women you know are Jane doe.

3267

Reposted by Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division

The Onion @theonion.com · 29/09/2026

Cornell Vows That Rapists Will Be Forced To Write Much Longer Essays In The Future theonion.com/cornell-vows...

193112122131

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 29/09/2026

Yes. I had absolutely no fun and was forced to ride bikes, drink bourbon, and hang out with one of my best friends the whole weekend.

020

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 29/09/2026

I'll be 100% honest: the fact that the inclusion of AI in my text messaging resulted in Google totally re-enshitrifying Messenger is enough reason to completely get rid of AI for every consumer product on the planet. If that means I also lose the AI models I've created for work, so be it.

000

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 29/09/2026

Matthew Ingalls Jonathan Newell Winston Lee Gillio Lopes Diego Sarabia Scott Norris Scott Kretzschmar

041

Reposted by Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division

👻Carl👻Cosmos👻 @cillic.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

nerds. @cocktailcon.org

5231

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 25/09/2026

This displeases me. Not because you're in Chicago, but because I am not.

110

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 17/09/2026

Looks like the FBI's new entrance exams just came out:

030

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 17/09/2026

Boi is discovering that "identifying as Irish", then supporting genocide doesn't hold up to the *actual* Irish.

000

Reposted by Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division

Alex Winter @alexwinter.com · 16/09/2026

True story.

166155203044

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 16/09/2026

There is one time where this is you: you just realized the you sent a dick pic to your mother-in-law. And she sent you a tiddies pic back.

000

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 13/09/2026

I just have a dual-barbed ball valve with hose clamps for most needs. If it is under real pressure, then instead of using barbs, I use quick disconnects similar to those used for beer.

100

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 13/09/2026

Might as well do skin color and penis-shape checks to round it all out.

010

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 13/09/2026

That discussion is "well this really bad take isn't as bad as that other person's really bad take, so you should be thankful".

100

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 13/09/2026

Chicago streets are on a grid system and they thought that just made things too easy on the visitors, so they added lower and lower-lower streets to our most confusing roads. Also, GPS doesn't work down there so it's a giant escape room.

100

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 13/09/2026

Better than putting condoms in the kiddie bags.....

100

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 11/09/2026

I actually do agentic AI security (in addition to all the other Security I do), and I'm in the same picture.

020

Reposted by Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division

Rowdy @r0wdy.sk33t.expert · 11/09/2026

0214

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 11/09/2026

I see. Using an arbitrary age can feel exclusive to some people. Consider using, "my husband is above the age of consent in at least one state".

040

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 10/09/2026

I'd love to see you, but I also *totally* understand the need to recover. Just put it on your calendar for next year and we'll do something epically chill.

120

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 10/09/2026

Like, Fetterman is the only rat I've seen running onto a sinking ship.

020

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 10/09/2026

They really missed the opportunity to call it the Asset Security Systems Management Module, or ASSMan, for short. And this is why Marketing always needs to see my PPT deck before presentations.

050

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 10/09/2026

Here's the thing: when you buy 1/4 or 1/8 of cattle, it's not "here's your meat", you're buying a guarantee that you'll get at least certain cuts. Since I avoid the premiums like ribeye and loin, my butcher often will throw in stuff like oxtails, shank, and bones for free.

010

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 09/09/2026

This whole Muskrat / St. Clair thing: "my crazy Nazi boyfriend said we have to breed lots for his crazy Nazi conspiracy theories" Ash, you fucked a Nazi well after the point you realized you were dating a Nazi. That's what I'm stuck on.

110

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 09/09/2026

I'm just going to be honest here: I've never seen Lord Douchebag and Rowdy in the same room at the same time....

120

Reposted by Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division

Worf Email @worfemail.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Samsung, This is the second phaser you've sent me that exploded during shipping. If you wish to kill me, you will have to try harder. Worf

418033

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 09/09/2026

Here's a thought, Josh: maybe these women realize their self-worth isn't based on your approval or expectation about how a woman should behave?

020

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 09/09/2026

As someone who had to re-engineer a whole voice-prompt system,nope, not even close to legal. Informing people that you are recording (the little chime), is *not* consent, even if it's a "by being in this area, you are consenting to being recorded". IL courts are pretty consistent on this one.

193

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 08/09/2026

Happy Star Trek Day! For your edification and entertainment, required reading:

031

Reposted by Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division

ex-Lethality Jane @lethalityjane.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

bro you're gonna die

Tweet from @happypunch

1-0 amateur MMA fighter Cole Johnson announced he's fighting a full-grown chimpanzee live on September 11

1091095121

Reposted by Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division

the hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

I'm going one step further and boosting gas engine range by adding a horse

1518915

Johnnie: Shield of 'Murica - Malört Division @dadbaud.cocktailcon.org · 06/09/2026

Some things that will have to be called "America" if we can't use the name of origin: New York New Jersey New Orleans *anything*-berg *anything*-burg Georgia Alexadria Canton Cambridge Orlando Venice Athens Jamaica Springfield Bristol And so many more!

000